An Open Letter to Those Who Review on Goodreads

Dear Reviewers,

I love Goodreads too. I love it as a reader and as a drama-loving red-blooded twenty-year-old extroverted Aries, but I also love it as a writer.

I'm sorry that we've fucked up Goodreads.

I'm having a hard time writing this because I'm so fucking frustrated, and because I'm goddamn ashamed of how I've seen people behaving lately. I feel like this is Boy Meets World and we have to keep learning the same lessons every week and then we go back and make the same fucking mistakes.

I want to tell you that I get why there is vitriol towards YA writers.

We keep doing this shit to you, and I'm so sorry.

I'm not giving any links because this isn't an isolated incident, but in case you've missed what's been going on lately, the gist is that we invade reviewer space, whether on reviews of our own work or a friend's, and act like assholes.

While I don't support anyone's decision to act like an asshole, it's really stupid for us. I get that sometimes you want to take that writer hat off and be a real person, or be a reader. Hell, I still have internet spaces for real hannah, and they're not invisible; you can go friend me on Facebook and watch me exchange videos with my girlfriend and discuss Motion City Soundtrack with my mom and post half-naked pictures from Rocky Horror, you know? (Just drop me a note saying you're a blog reader so I know you're not a random creeper looking at my half-naked pictures from Rocky Horror, cool?)

But I don't really get to be a reader anymore, not fully, and that's just fucking reality. And maybe it's not altogether awesome, and maybe I miss it, but it's a pretty small price to pay for being a motherfucking author.

That doesn't mean I can't write reviews, even negative ones; I do sometimes, and there are some amazing combination writer/reviewers out there--Phoebe North, anyone?--but it does mean that if I go out there and comment on bad reviews with sarcasm and bitchiness and general asshole-dom, I make writer-hannah look like a fucking idiot.

What's more, I embarrass my fans, I disrespect people who support me, and I give YA writers a bad name, and that just isn't how this shit is going to go down.

I don't know why this is such a hard concept for some of us, and I'm so, so sorry that we're just not fucking getting it.

If we can't stand Goodreads, we shouldn't go there. But if we choose to anyway, it is fucking ridiculous of us to think that just because we get those sexy author profile pages Goodreads is suddenly our space to be assholes to people who are doing what Goodreads was made for: reviewing books and interacting with people who love (and hate) books as much as they do.

Don't get me wrong, I love that we have a space where we can obsessively refresh to see how many people have added our books and see what page people are on and read what quotes they've added (THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD) and cry over bad reviews and cry over good reviews and cry because this shit is stressful, damn it.

But we are guests here, and Goodreads is your space, and I'm sorry we keep being idiots about it.

Love,
hannah

P.S. to authors: I know that bad reviews can hurt. I know that sometimes bad reviews are objectively WRONG. Shut up anyway. If you're a decent person with a good book, your readers will defend the thing. And that's the dream. That's what Goodreads is for.

2011 Round-Up

I do these every year.

Mostly real-life hannah, but writer hannah makes her appearances too.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

Had two books come out in one year. Started dating a girl. Went abroad with my family. Starred--twice--in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Wrote one, solitary book.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept almost all of them. I'll probably make some more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

Just Spain.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Serenity.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 19th, 2011--Invincible Summer!

December 20th, 2011--Zombie Tag. And that other thing. She's going to come up a lot.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Selling magicgayfish was really, really amazing, as was Teen Author Carnival and doing a panel next to David Levithan, oh my God.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not writing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

There was the exciting head-over-heels-down-some-stairs adventure that left me with a sprained ankle and a shitton of scrapes, and I had the flu in the spring. And then I tested positive for Lyme, despite having been tested and treated and cured four years ago, so I had to do a round of antibiotics which made me sick, and hell if I even know what's up anymore. I'm finally on meds for the arthritis and they're helping a ton. THIS IS BORING, I'M SORRY, I DON'T MAKE THE QUESTIONS.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

No contest.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My magic gay fish, of course.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Clothes, as always.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Turning 20. Invincible Summer. Each semester to be over. Holidays, always. Rocky shows. The deal for Fishboy.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

"Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas, because...yeah.

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:

Happier?

God, yeah.

Richer?

Yep.

Thinner?

noooo

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Reading, like always. Sleeping. Being calm.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Same as last year: "Freaking the fuck out."

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

At home with my family, and I can't fucking wait.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Ask me in a few months.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA come on. You know me.

(Supernatural.)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No.

26. What was the best book you read?

SO GLAD YOU ASKED. There are six I read for the first time that I absolutely HAVE to mention.

BROOKLYN, BURNING by Steve Brezenoff
CLEAN by Amy Reed
JELLICOE ROAD by Melina Marchetta
THE PIPER'S SON by Melina Marchetta
STOLEN by Lucy Christopher
THE GHOSTS OF ASHBURY HIGH by Jaclyn Moriarity

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Frightened Rabbit.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I saw Easy A for the first time on New Year's Eve last year and loved it, so let's count that.

31. What did you do on your birthday. And how old were you?

Twenty. We went out for fondue like we have for my last five birthdays. It was fantastic.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not being in school.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Cozy.

34. What kept you sane?

Twitter, Rocky Horror, Supernatural, the Musers, my mom.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

He's surprised by the question.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Same as last year, DADT.

37. Whom did you miss?

Everything and all the things all the time. But it's going to be okay.

Eating My Brain

So my third book, Zombie Tag, is officially released in 4 hours and 37 minutes. I have my last exam of the semester in about eighteen hours, and Hanukkah begins about four hours after that, let's say.

I'm thrilled and impatient and excited, but really I'm just sitting here crying a little and wishing I could disappear, and I figured I should blog about that a little, even if it's not the post I'm supposed to write. I should be writing a big BUY MY BOOK thing right now, but you guys know I want you to buy my book. You know how this works.

What I think you might not know is how hard this all gets.

The reason I don't like writing these posts isn't because I'm afraid of being honest with you guys; you guys know I'm pretty much the most open of books, and until someone is like WHOA HANNAH STOP I'm probably going to keep doing that forever and ever. But I don't write these sad damn posts because I'm worried about how they make me see, so, upfront, okay? I know how lucky I am. I really, truly do. I thank the universe every single damn day that I have this job.

And then stupid things swallow me whole.

You guys are so fucking NICE to me. That's what kills me. Do you ever look at people you love and just want to cry because you love them so much, and they love you, and you feel like there's this pocket of the universe that exists JUST to take care of you?

That's how I feel.

And it scares the shit out of me.

Because I don't want to let you guys down.

I don't want to fuck up and not sell and have to stop writing books.

I don't want the criticism to wear me down to the point that I can't write anymore.

I don't want to get eaten alive by my own brain and have to stop and work some office job.

I don't want to flame out before I'm thirty.

I just feel like I'm phoning it in lately, not with writing (because I haven't BEEN writing, and let's not talk about that tonight) but with publicity, talking to you guys, the sheer act of getting my shit together. And it's just this agonizing fear of failure weighing me down, and that's NOT me. I'm a lot of damn things, but, compared to a lot of writers and compared to a lot of the other things that are fucked in my head, I'm not much of a worrier. I don't overanalyze. I don't panic.

And yet here I am, crying on my bed because someone said something nice to me and my damn heart couldn't take it.

I keep writing things and deleting them because I don't know how to say it. I'm just scared. I'm scared no one will read the book and you guys will forget about me.

That's what it is. You guys loving me is scary because I'm afraid that one day you won't.

You don't have to reassure me and flatter me in the comments or something. I mean, I wouldn't HATE that, but that's not what I'm going for. Really I just want you to understand the crazy places a writer's head goes to, because I think release turns a lot of people into robots publicly, when really it tosses our brains like salads, and you know me and my problem with compulsive honesty so here I am.

So, uh, buy my book. I just hope you like it, if you do.

Really, I just hope that even if you don't like it, you don't give up on me.

We Need You

(Aaaaaaaand we're back. Hey.)

This is a post I've had in my head to write for a long time. It comes from a few questions I've heard asked, to me and to others, ever since I've been involved in the YA community, and moreso after BREAK sold.

1) Why aren't you using a penname? (related: You'd sell better if you didn't have a girl's name on your cover. also related, but not a question, and even more infuriating: your name is too Jewish to be on a book cover!)

2) Why are there so many books about white people?

3) Why are there so many Mormon YA writers? (related, also not a question: Stephanie Meyer waaaah waaaaah)

And, the big question, the one that, in its way, sums up all of the above and so, so much more:

4) Why aren't there more characters like me?

It sounds like a selfish question, I guess.

But...why aren't there?

The truth is, this post was hard to write because it is also a post about halfie-guilt. I'm a half-Jewish and half non-practicing Christian. Since religion wasn't important on my Christian half, I was raised largely, if mildly, Jewish, celebrating those holidays along with a nonreligious Christmas (and sometimes some candy on Easter).

I know the Hanukkah and the Passover blessings and all of that, but I don't speak Hebrew and I didn't have a Bat Mitzvah. But when I tried to get involved in Jewish life in college, neither of these things was a problem for me. The thing that was?

That big clunky Jewish last name means that the half of me that is Jewish is not my mother's half. And that is, according to (all but Reform) Jewish law, the half that matters.

I have not reconciled this yet. It's still something that I think about a lot and struggle with. I've heard a lot of people say that whenever they see half-anything characters in books, that their issues with their halfiness are way overwrought.

I need more half-whatevers. So I wrote a book about them. I'm working (and by working, I mean, desperately trying to avoid working) on an MG right now that features a half-Italian, half-Japanese main character who has issues with both communities since he looks more Japanese but speaks Italian. And he's dragging around the clunky last name, too, his Japanese, that doesn't make the other side of his family too happy.

He's not spending the whole book freaking out about it or anything, but it's there and it's an issue and it's important.

Wil, my main character in Zombie Tag, is Jewish. You would only know by his last name and by the fact that he mentions his Bar Mitzvah and his synagogue, in passing. Lio in Gone, Gone, Gone, is Jewish, and I can't remember when it comes up, if ever. I can't even remember his last name. I think he might not have one.

The point is, I throw Jewish characters in without consideration, and without there being a reason for them. It's important to me that there be Jewish characters, the same way it's important to me that I have gay characters and black characters represented in my books as well.

But I'm not fully Jewish, and I'm not gay, and I'm not black, so why were these things easier for me to write about than a true halfie?

Why aren't we writing characters like us?

Regardless of reasons, there are a lot of YA Mormon writers. So...why aren't we seeing more Mormon MCs?

Why are all of our main characters so pretty?

Why are we still writing books that take place in predominately white, predominately straight worlds, without ever noticing that that isn't the way most of the world works anymore? A gentrified neighborhood should stick out. It should warrant at least a passing reference in the book. It shouldn't be the assumption.

Why are so many books with black characters and gay characters still ABOUT being black and being gay, when we have wonderful writers who fit one or both of those descriptions who are living lives that are not defined by either of those?

I'm not saying we don't need books about struggling with identity. I wrote one about a halfie who is, after all, because that was a book I needed.

I'm just wondering why there aren't more characters like you.

End of The Year

I swear a real post will come at some point, but I needed something easy right now, so here is an end-of-the-year survey. I did it last year as well.

This is mostly real-life-hannah, if you're curious about her, but there's a lot of writing in here as well.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

Wrote a fantasy manuscript--three of them, in fact. Took control of my health. Was single for the first time since I was 15, which *felt* like something I'd never done before. Wrote and sold two MG books. Wrote 4 books in a year, which I think is a record for me. Made new friends, which honestly feels like a new thing.

But all in all, not enough.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept almost all of them, actually, and I have already made mine for 2011. Largely writing-related.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes.

5. What countries did you visit?

I visited absolutely no countries, but I did go to the West Coast for the first time, and I'm leaving for Spain in a few days.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010.

A new book on the shelves, obviously.

A new person.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I honestly can't think of a single one.

Pathetic.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Selling Zombie Tag and the other MG. And, honestly? Writing my magic gay fish book.

9. What was your biggest failure?

My answer is the same as last year's: College, college, college.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

The first one. Same old shit, really.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Well, I paid to get my industrial piercing back, and I think that was the most exciting.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Every single goddamn muser's.

And my mother's.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Clothes and food. Thank God I get most of my books for free.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Disney World. SCBWI. Christmas, like always, because I'm five. And when I knew the book deal for Zombie Tag was coming but it still took a few more days to actually get it...that was torture.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

When I Was a Boy by Dar Williams

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Happier?

no

Richer?

yes

Thinner?

yes

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Reading. Last year, I said my goal was 50 books in 2010. I clocked in at 28. Guh.


19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Freaking the fuck out.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I quote myself from last year: "Christmas is done, saun." I had an amazing Christmas at home with my family. We watched movies and made whoopie pies and played board games.

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?

I did not.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Queer as Folk is still my favorite, but How I Met Your Mother emerged as a new contender. I love, love, love sitcoms.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I wish my answer were the same as last year's. "Nah, I don't have time for that shit."

It will be soon.

26. What was the best book you read?

There are a few that need mentioning.

REAL LIVE BOYFRIENDS by E. Lockhart
WHEN YOU REACH ME by Rebecca Stead
THE DISREPUTABLE HISTORY OF FRANKIE LANDAU-BANKS by E. Lockhart (um, I love her.)
BEAUTIFUL by Amy Reed
THE DEATHDAY LETTER by Shaun David Hutchinson
HER AND ME AND YOU by Lauren Strasnick

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Dar Williams

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

How to Train Your Dragon

31. What did you do on your birthday. And how old were you?

Nineteen. I remember my roommate put play-doh on every stair down from my room. And I honestly don't remember much else. I'm old. I got mocked on twitter for being old, I remember that.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I honestly don't know. Maybe knowing would have made it more satisfying.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Scrubby, in general, but I started wearing a lot of jewelry.

34. What kept you sane?

The Musers. Same answer as last year. But also my mother.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Is Noel from the Ruby Oliver books a public figure? Let's say yes.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

DADT

37. Whom did you miss?

I miss high school. And I sometimes miss who we used to be.

Hiatus

In case you hadn't noticed, this blog has been, and will continue to be on, for at least another week, a little hiatus while I get my life together.

In the meantime, you should read my letter to my 15 year old self here.

See you guys later!

Recommendations

My ARC contest is open until midnight, July 17th. Please enter here.

Because people ask me a lot: websites and books that I highly recommend for writers. In no particular order.

WEBSITES FOR INFORMATION:

ABSOLUTE WRITE--I pretty much assume that everyone I meet is an AW member, but if you aren't, you should be. Besides offering a wealth of information--a serious, serious wealth--being part of AW is fantastic for networking and offers connections with a ton of people. Being able to say "I'm an AWer" can get you a lot further than you'd expect. Don't miss the Share Your Work section--free critiques! You can find me there a lot--my username is Shady Lane and I'm all over the YA forums.

TWITTER--You've heard it before. Get on Twitter. Delete your facebook if that'll help motivate you. Twitter. Talk to people. I'm @hannahmosk.

GOODREADS--I'm obsessed. Librarything and Shelfari and I'm sure others provide the same basic service, but Goodreads is the most user-friendly in my opinion. No easier way to keep track of what you've read and what your friends are reading and enjoying. I'm, well, Hannah Moskowitz.

WEBSITES FOR INSPIRATION:

CRACKED--Hilarious articles on things you never would have realized you didn't know. Articles like "The Six Creepiest Places" are begging to be novel fodder.

SNOPES-Urban legends, myths, and outlandish stories. It doesn't matter whether they're real or not; a ton of them would make great stories.

TV TROPES--You can lose your life here, and I'm sorry. But there's no better place to find cliches. The article about mermaids inspires Fishboy--How do mermaids breathe underwater when you don't see any gills, and how are they sex symbols when they don't have genitals? Tada, magic gay fish.

POSTSECRET--I can't imagine you don't know this one.

BOOKS

ON WRITING by Stephen King--A classic. Don't take the rules too seriously. I like it as a version of the journey that we all, in a way, go through, and the personal parts are very brave.

CHARACTERS AND VIEWPOINT by Orson Scott Card--Very useful. I've read this one several times. Keep in mind that it is somewhat out of date, and certain parts might strike you as a bit...well, offensive, to be completely honest. And remember, take it all with a grain of salt.


For great blogs, check my blog roll right over there ---> Nathan Bransford's, Jacket Whys, Pimp my Novel, and Editorial Anonymous are some I never miss.

Questions?

My ARC contest is open until midnight, July 17th. Please enter here.

In the tradition of the great Nathan Bransford, I'm having an open thread today. Ask me anything you like and I'll answer in the comments. Or ask each other things. Or tell me something you want me to know. Or or or whatever. And go.

If I Owe You Something

I'M SORRY I'M SO BEHIND PLEASE DON'T HURT ME

Trouble

Anyone who was on twitter today knows what went down and does not need specifics explained to them. If you don't know, I apologize--you won't find specifics here, because I care less about the incident itself and more of its existence as further evidence of a common problem.

I've talked before about how published authors are not better than unpublished authors, and published authors who act like unpub'd ones aren't worth their time make me sick.

Well, here we are. And I realize this is a post that won't win me any fans.

Publishing is not a hierarchy.

Unagented authors are not at the bottom.

Agented authors are not above them.

Agents are not above them.

Editors are not above them.

Publishing is made of a series of symbiotic relationships. Everyone is necessary to EVERYONE. Agents need editors. Editors need agented writers. Writers need editors. Agents need unagented writers. Publishing needs my agent. It needs some other agent who isn't my agent. It needs the editors at FSG and the editors at Simon Pulse and the editors at the indie press you haven't heard of. It needs me. It needs you.

You are important.

You don't have to suck up to anyone.

If you see someone abusing a position of authority, you do not have to go along with it. You can speak up. You should speak up.

You are not insignificant.

But you are responsible for everything you say.

Take responsibility. Speak up. Take risks.

As A Softer World put it, be the trouble you want to see in the world.

Pimping Myself

'cause that's how we do over on Invincible Summer, I guess.

My darling friend Misty wrote basically my favorite blog entry ever, and not ONLY because it makes me sound like a rock star (though that might be my favorite part.) You should check that shit out. It is here.

In other news...

I'm hard at work on my Invincible Summer edits (full disclosure: I'm hard at work on Invincible Summer edits in-between fighting Pokemon trainers) and also enjoying sunny (it's not sunny) Disney World with Christopher/the boyfriend/the shiksa/whichever of these names means more to you.

How are your lives?

Would you like another teaser from INVINCIBLE SUMMER, by the way? Because I can provide that shit if necessary.

Damn Saun

I've had a crazy week. How's yours been?

My INVINCIBLE SUMMER edits are due to arrive TOMORROW! So if you have any questions about what the editing-for-an-editor process is like, this is the week to throw them at me! Get on it!

Bad News Bears

Because the electronic world just hates me, my laptop is ker-fucked. At least my netbook is back in working order--hence I'm talking to you lovelies right now.

However, netbook has no webcam, so there will sadly be no vlogging in the considerable future.

Sooooo I'm going to do a regular post (boooo) for the rest of your questions. I'm disappointed, but vlogging was fucking awesome and I will definitely do it again in the near future.

I'm going to try to answer all your questions, tonight. If you want to sneak some more questions into that post down there titled "ASK ME ANYTHING," I promise not to tell anyone.

Hope everything is awesome for everyone. Send me some good vibes this week, kay?

Trust

(here's that post I teased you with.)

Not to brag, but I conduct myself differently from a lot of other writers, which is something you might have noticed and might find a little confusing. I'm open about a lot of things other blogging writers might sweep under the rug. I have a lot of sass and attitude and a lot of other attributes some people might not find attractive, but so does everybody. I'm just loud about mine.

I didn't do this by accident. When I started this blog, I knew exactly one thing: I wanted to be an example of a writer who was a fucking human being, because, let's be honest, a lot of writers scare the shit out of me.

Have you noticed that the only thing that seems to divide published writers online and unpublished ones is that the published ones always seem all together and shit? They never worry about revisions or going on submission or what agent is taking what queries. They're all lying in the sunshine drinking margaritas, and it's like they were never the writers down in the trenches, pounding through those first drafts and fielding rejections and stalking agents online. And that isn't a part of me that I want to hide or forget.

So I wanted to do things differently, and I trusted that people would like it.

And not one single person has ever told me, "hannah, stop with the fucking cursing and clean up your act and maybe act like a professional."

So I feel trusted, too. You guys, reading this, and my family, hopefully not reading this, and my agent and my editor, knowing exactly what I'm like and letting me talk to humans anyway, trust me.

And yet I'm still getting emails from people asking me how they can be sure agents aren't going to steal their ideas. And there are writers out there--published writers--afraid to share a few sentences of their books online because they're worried they'll be scolded.

I know that I'm not the most careful of people, but I am not stupid. This career means more to me than just about anything that isn't related to me or covered in fur. I'm not going to put it in jeopardy just to be edgy. But I trust myself to not go to far and I trust the powers that be not to overreact. And I think that's pretty reasonable, because, in a lot of ways, this is an industry that revolves around trust.

Your advance is based on the amount of copies your editor trusts your book to sell. Your print run is based on the amount of copies all the book stores trust you beautiful readers out there to read. My last two agents and I worked on a handshake (a virtual one), not a contract.

When you pick up a book, you trust the author to give you characters you love. You trust the awesome book bloggers out there to tell you what's good. You trust the author to write a satisfying ending. (er, sorry, guys.)

If we stop trusting each other, this industry falls apart.

And that's why it boggles my little mind that writers can be the least trusting people on the planet.

GUYS. All it takes is a few google searches and a few friendships with other authors to figure out who's going to try to screw you. The scams exist, but they are NOT well-kept secrets. And no one else wants to see you get hurt. Trust us. We're going to take care of you.

And if you don't trust me, and you don't trust the other writers who probably aren't writing impassioned fucking pleas like this on their blogs, I want you to trust one thing.

IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

Publishing also revolves around this statement. Stuff can be fucked up, queries can be awful, manuscripts can be late, but EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.

I promise.

And here is an example. P.S., this is the real reason this post is coming right now.

On Wednesday, I moved into my new house. It was a huge crazy step for me--a real house without my parents, close to the college I'm transferring to, starting to live like an adult, all that shit.

On Thursday morning, I got an email from my agent, Brendan, asking if we could chat.

He calls and tells me he's taking an editorial position, so he won't be my agent anymore. He sounds so apologetic on the phone that I'd almost believe someone's forcing him to switch jobs. He tells me who my new agent's going to be, and that he still wants to be in touch with me, and I congratulate him and try to make my voice sunny and bright and then hang up the phone and cry all day.

In case you missed agent appreciation day, Brendan was, without a doubt, the best thing to ever happen to my career.

So I felt crushed and awful, and if any of you had come up to me and been like HANNAH EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE OKAY I would have spit at you.

And then on Monday, my new agent emails me and tells me she's read all my books and she loves them, and this is going to be awesome.

And yesterday she emails me with more examples of her awesome.

And all of a sudden my world has rainbows again.

I'm going to miss Brendan like crazy, but goddamn, he's going to make a lot of authors (and hopefully me someday?) very happy with his mad editing skillz. And guys...my new agent is really, really awesome. And she's prettier than Brendan.

So this post is really to tell you that I'm now repped by Suzie Townsend.

And that everything really is going to be okay.

There's a Real Post Coming

and it will be the hundredth post on this blog.

So I wanted to get rid of 99 right now, because the next post is important, and I like the metaphorical significance.

So. Happy post 99. I'll see you tomorrow.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for sticking with me. And thanks, always and forever, for giving a shit.

<3 hannah

kittens!

Jack Bandit:







Lieutenant Surge:

You Humans Are Driving Me Insane

Guys

If you have a manuscript to query

QUERY THAT SHIT.

Do you think an agent's going to come down your chimney and offer you representation?

SEND THE GODDAMN LETTERS.

I'm a Little Late, But...

End of the year wrap-up survey, just in case people want more HANNAH MOSKOWITZ THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD stuff and less HANNAH MOSKOWITZ THE WRITER STUFF. But there will still be writing stuff in here. Promise.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

Saw my book on bookshelves. Went to college. Got within a few feet of a lamb. Did a long-distance relationship. Moved away from home. Made a life-changing decision to change colleges. Learned how to comfort myself, by myself. Discovered some fantastic music. (I hate the word "discovered" when it comes to music. It's not like I unearthed this shit.) Got an agent who I don't know how I lived without. Sold two more books. Wrote my first adult book. Wrote three YA books.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't think I had any for 2009. I made a few for 2010 that I hope to keep.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not very close.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. But my grandfather died somewhere between New Years Day, 2008, and the day after, so New Years always makes me think of him.

5. What countries did you visit?

England for a week, but that's it...and the Bahamas, but come on.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

A fulfilling college experience. An adult life. My own cats. My boyfriend closer to me. Uh...moar book deals?

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 25th. BREAK's release :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

BREAK's release. Selling two more books (have you heard these things enough already?) Being proactive when college sucked. Finding an agent who worked better for me.

9. What was your biggest failure?

College, college, college.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope, not even swine flu. And I didn't even sprain my ankle in 2009, which might be my first year ever not doing it. Maybe Jonah and Jesse suffered enough illness and injury in my stead?

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My netbook is pretty fabulous. And my house, but that's renting (please, I can't buy a house.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My best friend Emma, for a year's anniversary of being incredibly strong.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Clothes. Food. Handbags...extremely lucky for me, my parents pay for college.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

BookdealsandBREAKrelease. Oh, and seeing RENT with Grace was incredible. All three times.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

When My Boy Walks Down the Street by The Magnetic Fields.

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Happier?

Oh, a million times happier.

Richer?

Indeed!

Thinner?

Indeed!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

READING. I did not read nearly enough in 2009. Huge problem. My goal is 50 books in 2009, which I know is NOT a lot for some of you, but it'll be so much better than I did in 2009.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

College...

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Christmas is done, saun. But I spent it at home, with my family and the boyfriend, then seeing Sherlock Holmes.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?

I think that yes, I did.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Queer as Folk. heh.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Nah, I don't have time for that shit.

26. What was the best book you read?

Oooh. Like I said, I didn't read nearly enough. But definitely WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON by David Levithan and John Green. Incredible.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Getting heavy into Margot and the Nuclear So and So's, definitely.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Fantastic Mr. Fox, definitely.

31. What did you do on your birthday. And how old were you?

I'm eighteen. And for my birthday my friends and I went out for Fondue, like every year. We played SAY ANYTHING and ran around with a bubble wand, as well. And we watched RENT, and we measured our lives in love, etc.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Christopher not going away.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Laziness. I used to spend a shitload of time on clothes, and now I'm very lazy. But I did start wearing heels, though not on a regular basis.

34. What kept you sane?

The Musers.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Mmm. Huh. I really don't know.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Gay marriage in D.C.

37. Whom did you miss?

The stupid boyfriend in Ohio.

Puppy!

Here's a shitty picture of my new puppy. His name is Shepherd and I love him.

I'M ALIVE

And I am going to be a better blogger in 2010. I SWEAR.

I have nothing important to say to you today at all. Can this not count as 2010 blogging? It's 4 in the morning. I think I should be exempt from making sense at this hour.

If I'm smart, I'll delete this post right now. But I wanted you to all know I haven't abandoned you. (And if you sent me a query, I will read it. Really. At some point. I swear.)

Working up to a move on January 13th. Very excited. And I'm getting kittens on the 15th. There will be pictures.

BUT. First, a challenge.

NAME MY KITTENS.

They are nearly identical, two light gray tabbies, both boys.

I'll think of some reward if I end up using your names. It will probably be a fairly nice reward. Aaaaaaand go.