So hi.

I'm used to blogging with a group.

In fact, I do most things in groups. I blog in a group. I write best with people swarming around me. I poll people about what outfits to wear, what classes I should take, what the name of my blog should be. The dedication for Break says:


To the Musers,
who knew this was a group effort.

Who the Musers are is an entirely different story, but the fact remains that, once a book is finished, done, in my hands, it feels hard to have just my name on it. I didn't name several of the main characters; I said, "Hey, what name sounds good with Jonah?" and listened for responses. My editor came up with the title. What's ironic is that the farther you get along in the process, the closer you get to having a book with YOUR NAME HERE, the farther that book gets from being just yours.

I'm completely okay with that.

That's why blogging on my own is a bit frightening.

I know my dedication word for word, by the way, because I received Break's typeset pages in the mail today. I didn't really understand what these were until I opened the package.

It's like a real book.

Okay, more accurately, it's like when your teacher is too cheap to get enough books for the entire class, so she makes photocopies of her own book. Except there's no black smudge down the middle from someone shoving a paperback against a Xerox machine.

The font, the page numbers, the "If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this book is stolen property" is all there. It's just on printer paper. Two pages per sheet. Divided by white space, no black smudge.

And my name's on it. On every page.

Jesus Christ.