Hannah Moskowitz

An Open Letter to Those Who Review on Goodreads

2012-01-03T03:31:00.002-05:00

Dear Reviewers,

I love Goodreads too. I love it as a reader and as a drama-loving red-blooded twenty-year-old extroverted Aries, but I also love it as a writer.

I'm sorry that we've fucked up Goodreads.

I'm having a hard time writing this because I'm so fucking frustrated, and because I'm goddamn ashamed of how I've seen people behaving lately. I feel like this is Boy Meets World and we have to keep learning the same lessons every week and then we go back and make the same fucking mistakes.

I want to tell you that I get why there is vitriol towards YA writers.

We keep doing this shit to you, and I'm so sorry.

I'm not giving any links because this isn't an isolated incident, but in case you've missed what's been going on lately, the gist is that we invade reviewer space, whether on reviews of our own work or a friend's, and act like assholes.

While I don't support anyone's decision to act like an asshole, it's really stupid for us. I get that sometimes you want to take that writer hat off and be a real person, or be a reader. Hell, I still have internet spaces for real hannah, and they're not invisible; you can go friend me on Facebook and watch me exchange videos with my girlfriend and discuss Motion City Soundtrack with my mom and post half-naked pictures from Rocky Horror, you know? (Just drop me a note saying you're a blog reader so I know you're not a random creeper looking at my half-naked pictures from Rocky Horror, cool?)

But I don't really get to be a reader anymore, not fully, and that's just fucking reality. And maybe it's not altogether awesome, and maybe I miss it, but it's a pretty small price to pay for being a motherfucking author.

That doesn't mean I can't write reviews, even negative ones; I do sometimes, and there are some amazing combination writer/reviewers out there--Phoebe North, anyone?--but it does mean that if I go out there and comment on bad reviews with sarcasm and bitchiness and general asshole-dom, I make writer-hannah look like a fucking idiot.

What's more, I embarrass my fans, I disrespect people who support me, and I give YA writers a bad name, and that just isn't how this shit is going to go down.

I don't know why this is such a hard concept for some of us, and I'm so, so sorry that we're just not fucking getting it.

If we can't stand Goodreads, we shouldn't go there. But if we choose to anyway, it is fucking ridiculous of us to think that just because we get those sexy author profile pages Goodreads is suddenly our space to be assholes to people who are doing what Goodreads was made for: reviewing books and interacting with people who love (and hate) books as much as they do.

Don't get me wrong, I love that we have a space where we can obsessively refresh to see how many people have added our books and see what page people are on and read what quotes they've added (THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD) and cry over bad reviews and cry over good reviews and cry because this shit is stressful, damn it.

But we are guests here, and Goodreads is your space, and I'm sorry we keep being idiots about it.

Love,
hannah

P.S. to authors: I know that bad reviews can hurt. I know that sometimes bad reviews are objectively WRONG. Shut up anyway. If you're a decent person with a good book, your readers will defend the thing. And that's the dream. That's what Goodreads is for.

2011 Round-Up

2011-12-22T00:47:00.002-05:00

I do these every year.

Mostly real-life hannah, but writer hannah makes her appearances too.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?

Had two books come out in one year. Started dating a girl. Went abroad with my family. Starred--twice--in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Wrote one, solitary book.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept almost all of them. I'll probably make some more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

Just Spain.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Serenity.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 19th, 2011--Invincible Summer!

December 20th, 2011--Zombie Tag. And that other thing. She's going to come up a lot.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Selling magicgayfish was really, really amazing, as was Teen Author Carnival and doing a panel next to David Levithan, oh my God.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not writing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

There was the exciting head-over-heels-down-some-stairs adventure that left me with a sprained ankle and a shitton of scrapes, and I had the flu in the spring. And then I tested positive for Lyme, despite having been tested and treated and cured four years ago, so I had to do a round of antibiotics which made me sick, and hell if I even know what's up anymore. I'm finally on meds for the arthritis and they're helping a ton. THIS IS BORING, I'M SORRY, I DON'T MAKE THE QUESTIONS.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

No contest.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My magic gay fish, of course.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Clothes, as always.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Turning 20. Invincible Summer. Each semester to be over. Holidays, always. Rocky shows. The deal for Fishboy.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

"Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas, because...yeah.

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:

Happier?

God, yeah.

Richer?

Yep.

Thinner?

noooo

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Reading, like always. Sleeping. Being calm.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Same as last year: "Freaking the fuck out."

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

At home with my family, and I can't fucking wait.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Ask me in a few months.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA come on. You know me.

(Supernatural.)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No.

26. What was the best book you read?

SO GLAD YOU ASKED. There are six I read for the first time that I absolutely HAVE to mention.

BROOKLYN, BURNING by Steve Brezenoff
CLEAN by Amy Reed
JELLICOE ROAD by Melina Marchetta
THE PIPER'S SON by Melina Marchetta
STOLEN by Lucy Christopher
THE GHOSTS OF ASHBURY HIGH by Jaclyn Moriarity

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Frightened Rabbit.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I saw Easy A for the first time on New Year's Eve last year and loved it, so let's count that.

31. What did you do on your birthday. And how old were you?

Twenty. We went out for fondue like we have for my last five birthdays. It was fantastic.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not being in school.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Cozy.

34. What kept you sane?

Twitter, Rocky Horror, Supernatural, the Musers, my mom.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

He's surprised by the question.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Same as last year, DADT.

37. Whom did you miss?

Everything and all the things all the time. But it's going to be okay.

Eating My Brain

2011-12-19T19:59:00.000-05:00

So my third book, Zombie Tag, is officially released in 4 hours and 37 minutes. I have my last exam of the semester in about eighteen hours, and Hanukkah begins about four hours after that, let's say.

I'm thrilled and impatient and excited, but really I'm just sitting here crying a little and wishing I could disappear, and I figured I should blog about that a little, even if it's not the post I'm supposed to write. I should be writing a big BUY MY BOOK thing right now, but you guys know I want you to buy my book. You know how this works.

What I think you might not know is how hard this all gets.

The reason I don't like writing these posts isn't because I'm afraid of being honest with you guys; you guys know I'm pretty much the most open of books, and until someone is like WHOA HANNAH STOP I'm probably going to keep doing that forever and ever. But I don't write these sad damn posts because I'm worried about how they make me see, so, upfront, okay? I know how lucky I am. I really, truly do. I thank the universe every single damn day that I have this job.

And then stupid things swallow me whole.

You guys are so fucking NICE to me. That's what kills me. Do you ever look at people you love and just want to cry because you love them so much, and they love you, and you feel like there's this pocket of the universe that exists JUST to take care of you?

That's how I feel.

And it scares the shit out of me.

Because I don't want to let you guys down.

I don't want to fuck up and not sell and have to stop writing books.

I don't want the criticism to wear me down to the point that I can't write anymore.

I don't want to get eaten alive by my own brain and have to stop and work some office job.

I don't want to flame out before I'm thirty.

I just feel like I'm phoning it in lately, not with writing (because I haven't BEEN writing, and let's not talk about that tonight) but with publicity, talking to you guys, the sheer act of getting my shit together. And it's just this agonizing fear of failure weighing me down, and that's NOT me. I'm a lot of damn things, but, compared to a lot of writers and compared to a lot of the other things that are fucked in my head, I'm not much of a worrier. I don't overanalyze. I don't panic.

And yet here I am, crying on my bed because someone said something nice to me and my damn heart couldn't take it.

I keep writing things and deleting them because I don't know how to say it. I'm just scared. I'm scared no one will read the book and you guys will forget about me.

That's what it is. You guys loving me is scary because I'm afraid that one day you won't.

You don't have to reassure me and flatter me in the comments or something. I mean, I wouldn't HATE that, but that's not what I'm going for. Really I just want you to understand the crazy places a writer's head goes to, because I think release turns a lot of people into robots publicly, when really it tosses our brains like salads, and you know me and my problem with compulsive honesty so here I am.

So, uh, buy my book. I just hope you like it, if you do.

Really, I just hope that even if you don't like it, you don't give up on me.

ZOMBIE TAG Book Trailer!

2011-10-26T04:20:00.003-04:00

How cool is that?

It's Teaser Tuesday!

2011-10-19T20:27:00.000-04:00

Apparently I've never shared this excerpt, which surprised me!

From the magic gay fish book! Happy Tuesday, everyone.

--

“So I know where you came from, by the way,” I say.

“Humans and a house and all that. Yeah, I know.” Fishboy isn't even looking at me. His eyes are busy tracking something under the water.

“That house. The big one, right there.”

“You must think I'm an idiot.”

“What are you looking at?”

“I'm--” Then he dives and emerges with a tiny fish in his mouth. He spits it onto the deck. “Look at that! Check that out! Oh, man, Teeth is the king. Teeth is the king. I am the king of the seas. Look at that.”

I squirm away from it. It's flopping around like my brother during a bad night. “What is it?”

“Minnow. Oh, God, look at this minnow. Mmm. It's beautiful.” He kisses it and cuddles it against his cheek, then he neatly slits its head off with his teeth.

“Oh, Jesus, Fishboy.”

He looks up, a laugh, halfway through, frozen on his face. “What did you call me?”

“Fishboy.” But I didn't mean to. Shit. “It's, uh, what I called you in my head before I knew your name.”

He shrugs and nods a little. “Fishboy. Yeah, that's cool.”

Thank God. This would have been such a stupid fucking thing to fight about.

He's really grossing me out with this fish, licking the blood off its neck, so I shake my head quickly and say, “You know how I found out where you're from?”

“I don't care.”

“I made out with your sister.”

“What's made out?” He's looking at me with these huge innocent eyes.

“Kissed.”

“Ew,” he says. “You kissed a fish?” Then he buries his face in the minnow and rips it to pieces.

“This is so gross.”

He comes up with a mouth full of flesh. “Oh my God. Rudy, this is the best minnow in the world. You have to try this.”

“I'll pass.”

“I'll save you the liiiiver.”

At least now I know he's screwing with me. “Do fish even have livers?”

“You're a liver.”

“How do you know that word?”

“I'm very very smart.” He licks the skin clean. “Oh my God. Minnow. You are a beautiful minnow.”

“It's dead.”

“It doesn't speak English anyway. Oh, lovely, lovely minnow.”

“You're disgusting.”

“You're the one kissing a fish. Sicko.”

“Your human sister.”

“I knew what you meant. Seriously. You think I'm an idiot, don't you?”

I lie down on my back, as far as I can get from the remains of the fishboy's lunch. He's chewing on all the little bones.

Eventually he finishes eating, and I don't say anything, and he doesn't say anything. He reaches up to the dock and walks the fish bones back and forth like they're people. I half-watch his hands and half-watch the sky. It's the first time we've been absolutely silent together when it doesn't feel like we're fighting. It almost feels like we're tucked in to go to sleep. The silence must last nearly five minutes before he looks up at and smiles at me.

It doesn't matter what side I'm on and what side I'm on, for a minute. For a minute, it's just me and that smile. It's this kid.

“If you're done telling me my family history,” he says, “I have a mission for us.”

Remember That Time I Had News? HOW ABOUT AGAIN.

2011-10-06T16:48:00.001-04:00

In lieu of a post with actual thought-provoking content, how about some NEWS!

FIRST OF ALL, congratulations ONE ZILLION TIMES to Erin Bowman, the winner of the cover contest, with her use of a beaaaautiful photograph by John Goodridge!!

NOW. Okay! So!

S&S (and at least one other publisher, if I understand correctly) is trying out this badass new thing where they release a hardcover and a paperback simultaneously.

The logic behind this is that big bookstores like B&N and...oh wait, just B&N (guh my heart my soul) are more likely to stock a paperback than a hardcover because it is thinner and takes up less space. It's also less expensive to ship and generally lower-risk for the store to carry.

This is the main reason BREAK and INVINCIBLE SUMMER were in paperback rather than hardcover. Contemporary YA is a kind of scary place and putting it out in paperback increases the chances that the stores will be willing to stock it. (And I am SUPER lucky that B&N stocked both BREAK and INVINCIBLE SUMMER. Sidenote: they will be carrying ZOMBIE TAG as well. Which is a hardcover. So that news does not really belong in this post. HENCE THE PARENTHESIS.)

But there are people and places that like hardcovers more: some independents, libraries, my parents, etc.

WHICH IS WHY it is really, REALLY exciting that S&S has decided to EXPERIMENT ON ME

no no no not like that

and release GONE, GONE, GONE simultaneously in paperback and hardcover!

I KNOW, Jared and Jensen, cast of Fantastic Mr. Fox, and guy with chair!!

I'M EXCITED TOO!

I will have MORE INFORMATION closer to pub date, when I trust you to remember it (you dear little fish with your horrible memories) but I think you guys can figure out how to best support your chica on this if you are so inclined. You know as well as I do that the best way to show some love for a writer is with that wallet, so. If you shell out the extra money for the hardcover, eternal gratitude (AND POSSIBLY SOMETHING ELSE I'M WORKING ON IT). It shows the people over at my publisher that you like me enough to support me in hardcover, and they like when people like me because then they can wear their I LOVE HANNAH shirts without fear of embarrassment or egg-throwers.

BUT the paperback and the ebook will be available at exactly the same time (I should say when that time is, right? APRIL 17TH, 2012) so buy it in one of those if you'd rather. This is why we give you options. Because we love you.

Pretty, pretty fish.

At Long Last: Cover Contest FINALS!

2011-09-16T12:00:00.001-04:00

Okay. Let's do this.

Here are our Top Four in the INVINCIBLE SUMMER COVER REDESIGN CONTEST! These are the 3 from my Top Ten that received the most votes, and the fan favorite you all picked from the remaining entries! I've scrambled their order just for kicks.

You may vote ONCE for ONE cover. Each cover's number is above it. Remember you can click each to make it bigger.

And so you remember what a big deal this is, the winner will receive...

--a signed copy of my first book, BREAK.
--a signed copy of my second book, INVINCIBLE SUMMER.
--a signed arc of my first MG book, ZOMBIE TAG.
--a signed arc of my third YA book, GONE, GONE, GONE.
--their cover, printed up on pretty photo paper, signed by me (if you want me to? It's your art, you might not be into that. Let me know.)
--however many bookmarks I have lying around (three?) signed by me.

AND. MOST IMPORTANTLY:

--the first chapter of my just-sold novel, FISHBOY, printed out and signed. This is pre-edits! Who knows if this chapter will even EXIST in the final draft?? This is a first look that ONLY YOU WILL RECEIVE.

You have until MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 19TH, MIDNIGHT EST to cast your vote.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:

#1

BIG Middle Grade News!

2011-08-30T17:49:00.000-04:00

First of all, I am wicked wicked sorry that I haven't put up the next round of the cover contest yet. It IS happening, I swear.

But first I have TWO very exciting things to tell you!

The first is that I've received the final(ish, oh publishing) cover for ZOMBIE TAG, and I am so psyched to show you guys.

Isn't it AWESOME? I love the excerpt they chose for the back, and I think my favorite part is either the spatula over the barcode or Graham's zombie face on the spine.

The SECOND piece of big news is that I just got the go-ahead for my second MG book! It's right now called MARCO IMPOSSIBLE, and it'll be out early 2013. It's about two best friends, Stephen and Marco, who go on a go-for-broke heist to break into the high school prom and get Marco onstage to steal (hence the heist) the heart of Benji, the British exchange student and bass player of the prom band. (Yes, yes, YES, gay main character, and could I BE any more excited about that? OH I THINK NOT.) If you follow me on twitter, you'll know this as #veryscaryMG; not because it is scary, but because it was scary for me to write. Because I had to plot a freaking heist I mean come on.

The best part of getting good news is when I can tell you guys, so thanks so much for reading and hanging with me. Yay!!

Teaser Tuesday!

2011-08-16T14:54:00.001-04:00

Don't forget to vote in that really exciting cover contest, but yesterday I promised a teaser and now, in honor of finishing the 2nd draft of the #sparklyfairyprostitute book (confetti!) I think it's time for an excerpt from said book.

Roughly two-thirds of this book are in the present timeline, and the last third is in the past. This is from that last third.

--

It was amazing how quickly things became normal. Beckan and Josha shared a room, officially, and they tended house while Cricket and Scrap went out and came home with enough food to get them through the day, or fabric for a new shirt for Beckan, or pills for Josha's cold. They got used to chasing the mice around, staying up late singing folk songs their fathers taught them, comparing imperceptible battle scars and finding the bits of them that looked like the other species they all were. Because they were comfortable with that, when it was just the four of them. They could talk about how they were not all fairy. They could talk about anything.

They were just so close and all so crazy about each other, so quickly. Beckan had a space on Cricket's shoulder that she told Josha was only for her, and she would rest her head there when she was tired and kiss it over and over when she wasn't. She had a favorite place on the floor to stretch out with Josha and take a nap. And Scrap. Scrap was giggles through the walls, secret smiles, notes passed back and forth, but they were slow, they were childish about it, they never stepped over any kind of line. For some reason, it felt important to them both that they be careful. Because they would look at Cricket and Josha and see how crazy they were for each other and wake up gasping hard in bed, freezing cold, thinking about how dangerous it was to love someone that much during a war.

Anyway. They had plenty of time.

Gradually, around the time Josha started spending more nights in Cricket's room than Beckan's, they began to live their lives in new pairs. Josha and Beckan were still, in their way, ridiculously in love, but they spent less and less time together as Cricket and Josha threw themselves into shared sweatshirts and last-bite-of-ice cream kisses, and Beckan and Scrap lived like their parents, teasing each other for sleepwalking and flat gnome noses, curling up together with a book after the kids were in bed.

It obviously wasn't long before Beckan knew what Scrap and Cricket did for their living; Cricket had told Josha within days—the kind of indiscretion Cricket grew and died with—and Scrap never made much of an effort to hide it, coming home with half his glitter rubbed off, sometimes drugged and giggly, always in the mood for a kiss on the cheek and a bit of babying before he was sent off to bed. They never talked about it; Beckan washed bloodstains out of his underwear and rubbed his shoulders when he looked tense, and Josha sulked for an hour each of the three days Cricket accompanied Scrap to the mines. “I don't make as much as Scrap does,” Cricket said once to Beckan, explaining his part-time work. “He's the best little whore in Ferrum.”

Scrap scrambled onto Cricket's back and started smacking him on the head with both hands and wouldn't get down, no matter how much Cricket bucked and ran back-first into the wall, and Josha and Beckan laughed and laughed.

There was so much laughing.

A few weeks into the war, the tightropers invaded the mines and took the women captive, and business boomed for Cricket and Scrap. The men had been wanting before, surrounded by women who dreamed about fairy boys and fairy babies instead of another generation in the mines, but now they needed Cricket and Scrap more than ever, and the boys were happy to oblige. During that initial surge, when sex was valuable and food wasn't, quite, they ate and drank like kings.

And somehow, in the war, Scrap came alive. While Josha and Cricket nervously discussed weapons and production, Scrap tried three-ingredient recipes with whatever three ingredients they had left and made Beckan guess what he was trying to make. He invented card games called Treeman and Souffle and lied when he said he would let Beckan win. He once lay half-naked on the kitchen floor and laughed hysterically while the other tree rubbed him as hard as they could to get glitter off him, and he kicked and screamed and alternated between begging them to stop and pulling them on top of him, one by one, and tackling them into a hug.

And one night he and Cricket came home too late and empty-handed for the fourth night in a row and sat in the kitchen and cried, their fingers laced together, and Josha and Beckan sat with them and eventually there was no way to avoid the fact that two prostitutes were no longer enough, in a time when the gnomes were clinging to each bit of meat like it was made of gold, and licking their teeth and smacking their lips whenever Cricket and Scrap came down, to secure food for four mouths.

“Teach me,” Beckan said, and most of her was excited, most of her had been waiting, most of her wanted to feel everything that Scrap had ever felt, because that was where she was then. “I'll go.”

INVINCIBLE SUMMER COVER CONTEST: Round #1!

2011-08-14T01:36:00.013-04:00

Yes, we have a new look! We so pretty.

So you remember that ridiculously awesome, ridiculously high-stakes contest I had?

The turnout was seriously beyond my wildest dreams. I was worried I wouldn't get ANY entries. Instead I got twenty-seven incredible submissions, and I love them to tiny pieces.

But

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.

Because of the ridiculous prize I'm giving away to the winner, it is of the utmost importance that I choose the very, very best. Which means I can't rely on my taste alone! I need you to help me.

I've chosen my top 10 favorite covers. You will see them momentarily (or now if you are impatient and scroll down, but don't because I'm about to give you IMPORTANT INFORMATION). You can vote for one of those. The top 3 with the most votes will go onto the next round, one week from today, where the ULTIMATE WINNER will be chosen!

BUT WAIT. What if you look at them and say "hannah wtf you didn't choose THE BEST ONE"??

Well. After the poll (where you vote for ONE of the top ten covers) you will see a link to a slideshow of ALL of the covers. They're all labeled with "Contest Entry #14" or whatever. Each of those that was not chosen for the top 10 will have a spot on the second poll! That is the FAN FAVORITE poll. And whichever one of THOSE gets the most votes will also move on to the next round, to make a top 4! See? You can fix my mistakes!

You may only vote once, but PLEASE campaign as hard as you possibly can for your favorite cover whether in the comments here, on twitter, your own blog, facebook, wherever. And thank you so, so much for voting (and for entering, if you did!)

A quick recap:

--Below are my ten favorites of the covers I was sent. They're in random order. Most of them you can click to make them bigger, some were subbed to me kinda small.
--You can vote ONCE on ONE COVER.
--Below THAT poll is a link to a slideshow of ALL THE ENTRIES.
--Below THAT link is a poll with each of the entries that was not chosen.
--You can vote ONCE for ONE OF THOSE COVERS.

And here we go!

THE TOP 10

1)

2) (No, I am not really a NYT Bestselling author, but if the cover fits...) >

3)

4)

5)
Photo by badjonni and used under the Creative Commons: http://www.flickr.com/photos/badjonni/5389624442/

6)

7)

8)

9)

10)

Here is a link to the slideshow of ALL the covers (including the top 10). The poll below is for all the covers that were NOT chosen in the top 10. If it was in the top 10, it will not appear on this poll (notice there's no option for "Cover Contest #1" on this poll, because that one was chosen for the top 10). Please don't get the numbers in the slideshow confused with the numbered entries above! Just look underneath each picture in the slideshow for its number and use that.

THE SLIDESHOW

ZOMBIE TAG ARC TOUR!

2011-07-27T22:31:00.004-04:00

At long last...

here we go! I'll be sending out two different arcs at once, one to roughly west coast and one to roughly east coast! Hurray!

This means we have some extra time to to read. You'll notice I didn't put dates! That's because we have 13 people (I think? eh?) for each arc, and we have roughly 20 weeks until Zombie Tag comes out. So...try to send it out a week to a week and a half after you receive it. If you have to keep it longer, IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL. If the arc doesn't get to me until like a month after Zombie Tag comes out, eh, who cares? Just MAKE SURE IT GETS BACK. No losing the thing. You know the drill.

SO! The order is!

ARC #1

1. T.O., Ontario, Canada - Reut C.
2. Brunswick, OH - Lydia Sharp
3. Whitehall, PA - Cara Bes
4. Portland, ME - Lindsay Breen
5. Boston, MA - Grace Ausick
6. Manchester, NJ - MaryBeth
7. Bel Air, MD - Jessica
8. Philadelpiha, PA--Katie
9. Chesapeake, VA - Pam Harris
10. Gastonia, NC - Samantha Rae
11. Anderson, SC - Jeremy West
12. Memphis, TN - Allison Renner
13. Paragould, AR - Tabitha Michelle

ARC #2

1. Port Richey, FL - Sarah
2. Cape Coral, FL - Tracey M. Hansen
3. Dothan, AL - Amanda Baxter
4. Lake Charles, LA - Steph Campbell
5. Edinburg, TX - Jamie
6. Cleburne, TX - Marcy Funderburk
7. Dallas, TX - Jeannette
8. Dallas, TX - Kari
9. Los Angeles, CA - Ashlyn Rae
10. Coeur d'Alene, ID - Taylor
11. Brackendale, BC, Canada - Rebecca Christiansen
12. Thorsby, Alberta, Canada - Ambur
13. Alberta, Canada - Halli

Now. As soon as you've seen this, email me with THE FOLLOWING SUBJECT LINE--your arc number and then your number on the list. So if you are Grace, your subject line is "ARC #1, person 5." If you don't follow this format, I'll be all sweet to you but in my head I will be RAGING WITH FIRE.

Oh yeah I should give you my email address. until.hannah@gmail.com

In that email, put your address! Even if I already have your address from the Gone, Gone, Gone tour. Even if you've given me your address so many times for so many different things that I should have it memorized at this point. Give it to me again! I love your address! And I'll pass that along to the person who needs to send it to you, and hit you up with the address of the person you need to send yours to. Easy peasy, thanks to you guys organizing yourselves with the above subject lines! Yay!

One other thing that makes me rage with fire: having to chase people down. So please do not do that. I have to do it for the GGG tour already and it is so exhausting.

Don't forget to mark the thing up when you get it! As soon as I get addresses from our first two people, I'll scribble over two arcs and send them out! Thank you so much!!

The Biggest Contest That Has Ever Been Known to Humankind

2011-07-13T10:37:00.007-04:00

SO.

If you recall, yesterday I had some pretty huge news.

To celebrate, I am having a hideously amazing contest. The prizes, which will be revealed MOMENTARILY, are, I think you would agree, completely over-the-top in number and shipping charge. Which is why, in order to win, you have to do something fairly intense and VITAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF HUMANKIND.

You have to design a new cover for Invincible Summer.

As many of you know, there has been considerable drama over the Invincible Summer cover! While I think it's a beautiful cover, the opinion has been raised that it doesn't fit what the book is about. So let's make a game out of it!

Design a new cover. Use stock photos, use MS paint, take photos, scan a drawing, use all text, however you want to do this. Please do not use copyrighted images or otherwise do anything to hurt someone in any way (no real blood, etc). Make a cover that you believe represents what the book is really about.

This is obviously going to be an easier task if you've read IS, but if you haven't, PLEASE don't let that keep you from entering! I recommend reading a bunch of goodreads reviews, here, both positive and negative, and checking out the Invincible Summer tag (at the end of this post) for excerpts from the book and my own commentary on said excerpts. You can find a LOT in the soundtrack posts especially about what I think the important parts of the book are. And you can always ask around! You can always ask me! I'd be happy to answer questions.

Since this is a fairly intense thing I'm asking you to do, I am giving you ONE MONTH FROM TODAY. That means that, on August 13th, I will post a to-be-determined number of my favorites on the blog and we will vote on the winner!

Here's the big thing. I am really terrified that no one will enter. So in order to entice you...the prize.

THE WINNER WILL RECEIVE:

--a signed copy of my first book, BREAK.
--a signed copy of my second book, INVINCIBLE SUMMER.
--a signed arc of my first MG book, ZOMBIE TAG.
--a signed arc of my third YA book, GONE, GONE, GONE.
--their cover, printed up on pretty photo paper, signed by me (if you want me to? It's your art, you might not be into that. Let me know.)
--however many bookmarks I have lying around (three?) signed by me.

AND. MOST IMPORTANTLY:

--the first chapter of my just-sold novel, FISHBOY, printed out and signed. This is pre-edits! Who knows if this chapter will even EXIST in the final draft?? This is a first look that ONLY YOU WILL RECEIVE.

In the words of my hero, worth playing for?

This contest IS OPEN INTERNATIONALLY, but if you are not in the U.S. and Canada, the prize is a little less exciting: You will get Invincible Summer and Break via Book Depo and preorders of Zombie Tag and Gone, Gone, Gone. But still good, right? Three books? Eh?

You have until AUGUST 13TH to submit your covers. Please EMAIL THEM TO ME: until.hannah@gmail.com. And please please spread the word.

Have fun.

Dear Magic Gay Fish

2011-07-12T16:50:00.005-04:00

You've had that name for a long time.

A bunch of you probably don't know why the followers of my blog and my followers on Twitter are called magic gay fish.

The truth is, that before there was you, there was a manuscript.

The magic gay fish manuscript.

It was always called Fishboy, but I wanted to be funny, and, well...the thing is about a magic gay fish, after all. Well, a magic gay half-fish, half-boy. Named Teeth. Who, I've got to say, is a character unlike any I've ever written and one that I adored writing in a way I've never really loved anything.

So it's this manuscript. I wrote it last July. If you hit the tag "Fishboy" at the end of this post, you can see some of the excerpts I've posted. It's just this manuscript, except that it's this manuscript that's special to me in a way I can't really explain. It's this way that makes me feel like one of those floaty sensitive writers that I never really thought I was. I don't know. I just know that this manuscript was my weird, crazy long shot book about a magic gay fish and a dusty, dreamy boy named Rudy who loves him, and a girl named Diana who teaches Rudy about Roald Dahl, and Rudy's parents who love the shit out of him. And his sick little brother, because, let's be honest, it's a hannah book.

It's really as hannah as any of my books have ever been, really.

It's the only manuscript I would have ever considered naming my fans after. It's THE book.

So here's the deal, my beautiful, beautiful, amazingly magic and amazingly gay fish.

You are immortalized.

The deal closed yesterday, and I am honestly the luckiest girl in the planet.

Sometime in 2013. Consider it my love letter to you.

A Need So Freaking Beautiful

2011-06-21T16:58:00.003-04:00

(You can still enter the ZOMBIE TAG arc tour right here!)

So you may have seen a bunch of posts today about the release of this amazing book called A Need So Beautiful by Suzanne Young. I don't usually do promotional stuff on this blog, but I make an exception today for two reasons:

1) Suzanne Young is my best friend. Which would be enough all on its own, but
2) A Need So Beautiful is a really, really, REALLY amazing book.

So we're having this wicked awesome contest, but first I'm going to give you a story about an act of kindness that changed my life, like how Charlotte changes people's lives--and her own--with her acts of kindness in A Need So Beautiful.

So once upon a time, about thirty years ago, this guy and this girl were in college and dating, pretty casually. They'd been together for the better part of a year, but they both knew that the guy was going to move out to California over the summer to meet the girl he'd been with before this one. All cards were on the table, everyone knew how it was going to go down.

And then the new girl sprained her ankle, right when the guy was supposed to move out to California.

And it wasn't as if it was life-threatening. It was a sprained ankle. He could have gone anyway. He wasn't obligated.

But he did. He blew off the girl he was supposed to move with (and never called her...but that's a different story) and stayed in North Carolina with the girl with the sprained ankle.

And that's how a random act of kindness changed my life. Seeing as I wouldn't exist if he'd gone out to California. Thanks, Dad!

:)

So here's the contest.

It's the same one from all the blogs, so you only need/get to enter once. The contest is open until June 28th.

There are SO MANY AWESOME PRIZES, and you'll get to choose which ones you want to try to grab on the entry sheet. Pretty cool, yeah? Some prizes are international and some aren't, so pay attention to what's available for you.

There will be 1 winner per item, and then three people will also be chosen to win a signed copy of A Need So Beautiful. Woohoo!

HERE IS THE ENTRY FORM!

And here's how to earn lots of points. You can only enter once, so make sure you have all your extra points ready to go when you fill out the form.

Earn one extra entry for each of the following:
Take a picture of an author's book in the wild and tweet it to the author and Kari (check the form for her twitter handle).
Post a positive Amazon review for a book you loved
Donate a book to a library or classroom
Tweet a good deed you plan to do this week, using the #ANeedSoBeautiful hashtag

Earn 10 extra entries for each of the following:
Take a picture of A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL in the wild and tweet it to us and Suzanne Young
Post an Amazon review for A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL
Donate a copy of A NEED SO BEAUTIFUL to a library or classroom

And here are some of the amazing prizes you could score:

First 3 chapter critique (Jessica at Confessions of a Bookaholic: http://www.totalbookaholic.com/)

YA Lit Swag Bag (Sara at Novel Novice: www.novelnovice.com)

Hourglass Order from TBD – Int (Corrine at Lost for Words: http://lostforwords-corrine.blogspot.com)

Random Books (Jessi at The Elliott Review: http://elliottreview.blogspot.com)

2 Header/Button Packs (Jessica at Hopelessly Devoted Bibliophile: http://www.hopelessbibliophile.com/)

First 3 chapters Critique (Cindy at Books Complete Me: http://www.bookscompleteme.com/)

First 15 pages Critique (Kari at A Good Addiction: http://agoodaddiction.blogspot.com/)

Signed ARC of Hereafter (Kari at A Good Addiction: http://agoodaddiction.blogspot.com/)

Query Letter Critique (Shannon Messenger: http://ramblingsofawannabescribe.blogspot.com/)

Signed copy of Invincible Summer – US/Can (Hannah Moskowitz: hannahmosk.blogspot.com)

First Chapter Critique and a Skype Chat (Keri Mikulski: http://kerimikulski.com/books/pay-it-forward-the-author-edition/)

Signed copy of Tell Me a Secret with signed TMAS art print - US (Holly Cupala: http://www.hollycupala.com/search/label/blog)

Signed copy of Chasing Brooklyn – US (Lisa Schroeder: www.lisaschroederbooks.com)

The Pledge Swag Pack including ARC (Kimberly Derting: http://kimberlyderting.blogspot.com/)

ZOMBIE TAKEOVER!

2011-06-18T01:04:00.009-04:00

Well hey!

I realized that I have all the Zombie Tag arcs and nothing to do with them.

And Zombie Tag is a pretty cool book, I think. Check out this description!

Ever since twelve-year-old Wil Lowenstein's older brother Graham died a few months ago, Wil's spent most of his time fighting off imaginary zombies with spatulas in Zombie Tag, the Mafia/Capture the Flag hybrid he invented with his friends. What Wil doesn't tell anybody is that if he could bring his dead brother back as a zombie for real, he would. In a heartbeat.

So when Wil finds a way to bring back all the dead within five miles, he seizes the chance. But the Graham who comes back isn't the same. None of the returned are. At first they're just emotionless, apathetic - lifeless. But then some of the zombies slowly start to get one emotion back - anger. And Wil is going to have to find a way to fix zombie-Graham and turn him back into the angsty teenager he's supposed to be before it's too late.

Because some of the zombies are banding together and plotting something. And Wil isn't sure his mom's spatulas are really going to do the trick if the zombies really do want to eat his brains.

Here! A visual!

So remember how I did an arc tour for Gone, Gone, Gone? Remember how that's going on right now and it's super fun? LET'S DO IT AGAIN!

Wait, what's an arc tour? It's a way for a lot of you to read one arc! It's the chain letter of giveaways! I send out a copy, put you guys in order, and you guys send to each other. And before I send it out, I'll write lots of notes in it and tell you guys to write in it too, so by the time it gets back to me it'll be like a scrapbook from all of you, and that makes me really happy.

Mostly the same rules as before, but first, a few things:

This is an upper MG book. This is not a young adult book. If you don't read/review MG, you're going to open the thing up and go "where's the sex?" and that's no good for anyone.

I have a few arcs this time! Either two or three will be going out, and we're going to do REGIONAL TOURS! So everyone around the west coast will get one arc, etc. This means it will get to you faster, and you will have more time with it it! Which is good because Zombie Tag comes out DECEMBER 20TH, and I would very much like the arcs to come home around that time. So we must get this show on the road.

We'll scribble in them just like we're scribbling on the Gone, Gone, Gone, one! It's really fun.

HERE ARE THE RULES.

YOU ARE ELIGIBLE TO ENTER IF: You are in the U.S. or Canada, you are a book blogger, and you promise to review this book. (NOTE: My definition of "book blogger" is pretty lenient. If you have a blog where you will review my book, you're in. Hell, you're probably in if all you'll do is review the thing on Goodreads and tweet about it. I'm easygoing.) You're also totally eligible whether or not you're in the Gone, Gone, Gone tour.

To get into the tour, you need to comment on this post telling me that you've done both of two things:

1. Added Zombie Tag on Goodreads. Right here.

2. Bought either Break or Invincible Summer. (Brownie points for both, obviously)

Same apology as I gave you for Gone, Gone, Gone, It's totally gross, I know, but chick's gotta eat. Just comment and be like "yeah, I bought that shit" or "yeah, I'm buying it now 'cause you're making me."

(But hannah, can't we just lie and tell you we bought it if we haven't? Yeah, you can, but then Santa doesn't bring presents and your kids hate you.)

I have no idea how long I'm giving each person with the book because I have no idea how many copies I'm sending out or how many of you will sign up, so yeah, just hit me and we'll see what happens. I'll close this at some point in the future, I don't even know.

Once you get the book, you'll have a predetermined amount of time to get it, read it, and send it to the next person. I'll send to the first person, the last person will send it back to me. If you drop the ball and lose my arc, I WILL HARVEST YOUR ORGANS AND MAKE THEM INTO SPATULAS. If you're late sending it out, no one cares, it's fine.

NOW FOR THE POINT OF THE ARC TOUR: YOU MUST REVIEW THIS BOOK, whether or not you like it. But! Please DO NOT post this review on your blog until a month or two before release date. But PLEASE PLEASE rate it, and even review it! on Goodreads or Librarything or wherever the fuck (but Goodreads, please, I'm a Goodreads ho) as soon as possible after you finish it.

IN SUMMARY

Tell me your name

Tell me your email address

Tell me which of my books you've bought

Tell me you added Zombie Tag on Goodreads

Tell me your city and state

and the thing is as good as yours.

How to Write a Negative Review

2011-05-27T20:52:00.005-04:00

First of all, this isn't a sarcastic post. This isn't a list of things people have done that hurt my feelings. This is serious, possibly misguided advice from a chick who doesn't write a lot of reviews but certainly gets a lot and certainly loves to read them.

And I do. I love reviews. I adore reading them and I adore getting them. It's probably my favorite part of all this, besides getting covers. And obviously I would love if everyone loved my books and they were all positive, but if I had to choose between no reviews and only negative reviews, I would choose the second in a heartbeat, and I am not just saying that. Having people read is incredible. Getting people riled up is incredible. Just knowing that you're not throwing words into a void is incredible. (And yes. I read the reviews. Not all of them; eventually I get bored or I run out of time. It's okay. This will be referenced later.)

In all my review-reading and review-getting, I've come across a lot of negative reviews. When they are not on my own stuff, they are my favorites. Aren't they everyone's? They are the most fun to read.

There's a lot of noise out there about bad reviews. People say you shouldn't write them if you are published or trying to get published. Say something nice or don't say anything at all, etc.

I say that's bullshit. But I also think there are guidelines that can help write a good, constructive, INTERESTING negative review, one that will be the most fun for people to read and the most helpful for people deciding whether or not to read it, and one that can be as absolutely negative as you need it to be without trampling unnecessarily hard on toes.

So yes, review my books! Please! If you so choose, review my books negatively! Review review review and I will love you forever regardless, but I will love you even more if you consider the following guidelines.

1) Don't address your review to anyone. Particularly, do not begin your review "Dear author."

There are a few reasons for this.
a. Your criticism is wasted on us. There is nothing we can do now. The book is out. You have read it. Everyone else who reads it will read it as is. However good your points are, we can't do anything. It is a waste to write to us suggesting improvements on published books. Don't try to do it with your review.
b. Your review is not for us.

This is the reason you should not care that I read my own reviews. Really. I am none of your concern. You are writing for other bloggers and for readers of blogs and for everyone else in the whole world who is not me. Seriously. Write for everyone else. Don't write to me.

(On a similar note, don't send me emails suggesting changes for the books that are out.)

2) Use profanity only one step above the book itself. This means for my books, you can say whatever you want, but if you're reviewing a clean book, stick to "hell" and "damn," maybe? I'm unsure about this point, but keep in mind who's going to be looking up reviews of this book. Do you want them to write you off as vulgar and irrelevant or do you want them to read your review? Eh. I dunno. Just one to think about.

3) Don't try to fix it. By all means point out what's wrong with the book. Point out every single thing. But try to dodge the urge to prescribe a specific solution to a problem with the book. It's pretty impossible for you to casually read a book and come up with the perfect solution, and it makes me respect you as the reviewer if you don't try. Look at the problems with the book and tear them apart and spend time seeing if you can explain what makes them so problematic. This is way more useful to readers and more interesting than watching you try to slap a band-aid over it.

4) Length is your friend. Within reason, the longer the better. I like reviews that link to a review that agrees with them and a review that doesn't at the bottom. I also like negative reviews that make a point of mentioning any good things (if any) that they found in the book. Go the extra mile to make your review well-written and engaging.

5) Blame no one but the author. This is one of the most crucial points, I think.

A lot of reviews blame the editor for problems with a book. I think it's hard for an outsider--meaning, anyone who wasn't the specific author and editor of that book--to see what an editor's role was in the process. (The typos you find in a book? That's something that happened either in copyediting or typesetting, and it isn't the editor's fault, and the author had a chance to catch that and should have done it. That last bit doesn't apply to arcs. They're still being caught at that stage).

You'll see reviews that say "This could have been so good if the editor hadn't tried to dumb it down," or "clearly the writer was forced into writing to fit this trend." Don't. It's our fault. If you have to blame anyone, blame us. You don't know what went on behind the scenes.

On that note...

EDIT: The lovely Jennifer Laughran left a comment so good that I am cut-pasting that bastard right into this post.

"Blame no-one but the author for the CONTENT of the book.

Do NOT blame the author for a) what the packaging looks like, b) where the book was printed, c) who is or isn't on the cover, d) some egregious thing the publisher did, e) some egregious thing the editor did, f) some egregious thing the author's agent did, g) where you can or cannot buy the book, h) that there were no arcs available, or you didn't get one...

or ACTUALLY BASICALLY ANYTHING ELSE to do with the production, packaging, distribution, marketing or publicity surrounding (or NOT surrounding) the book."

Anyone who read my post on my cover a few weeks ago will understand why I agree with this wholeheartedly.

6) Don't make up a backstory. Take the book at face value and as its own entity. Don't try to connect it to issues with the author's personal life or make guesses as to why the author wrote it.

By all means connect the book to what's out there and compare it to other titles. But don't try to make connections to it prior to its existence, you know? Try not to comment on the process of the book's creation--clearly this was written in six days, blah blah--and treat it as a found object.

7) If you didn't read it, walk away. Don't write a negative review of a book you didn't finish. And if you're commenting on someone else's negative review, it's fine to say "Oh, good, now I know not to pick this up." That's fine. It's not fine to help the reviewer or other people in the comments bash the book if you haven't picked it up. You are not the reviewer, you are a commenter. Go bash books you have read.

And a special bonus one for authors writing reviews:

8. Pick on books your own size. More specifically, pick on books A LOT LARGER and that's it. No bashing anyone less famous than you are, ever. If you're in doubt, don't do it. Don't be that guy. Attack the giants or attack not at all.

And do be aware that it really can always bite you in the ass. I mean, so can everything that's worth doing, but don't go about it like an idiot.

So. Those be my thoughts. What do you think?

Teen Author Carnival!

2011-05-15T00:22:00.004-04:00

So Monday, May 23rd, I'm going to get my ass to New York City to be a part of Teen Author Carnival 2011.

This is a pretty huge deal for a couple of reasons.

1) It's the first thing anything like this that I've ever done. I will be a nervous wreck.

2) In a second I'm going to post the list of authors in the panel I'm in, and if you know anything about me, you will find out another HUGE MAJOR REASON that I will be a nervous wreck. (I will put this reason in BOLD so that you will be able to locate it even if you do not know anything about me).

3) I bought a new dress.

4) I will be signing stuff! And you can probably snag an arc of Gone, Gone, Gone. Or even Zombie Tag! And duh Invincible Summer and probs Break too, who knows!

5) My family will be there. Yes. YOU CAN MEET MY MOM.

6) Check out this amazing list of authors:

Carol Estby Dagg - The Year We Were Famous
Nova Ren Suma - Imaginary Girls
Carrie Jones - Need, After Obsession, Dear Bully
Scott Tracey - Witch Eyes
David Levithan - Every You, Every Me
Melissa Walker - Small Town Sinners
Michelle Hodkin - The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer
Elizabeth Scott - Between Here and Forever & As I Wake
Michelle Zink - Circle of Fire
Michael Northrop - Trapped
Leah Clifford - A Touch Mortal
Nick James - Skyship Academy
Amy Fellner Dominy -OyMG
Kirsten Hubbard - Like Mandarin
Malinda Lo - Huntress, Ash
Bettina Restrepo - Illegal
Caridad Ferrer - When the Stars Go Blue
Kody Keplinger - Shut Out
Torrey Maldonado - Secret Saturdays
THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE
E Archer - Geek Fantasy Novel
Gayle Forman - Where She Went
Courtney Allison Moulton - Angelfire
Susane Colasanti - So Much Closer, Something Like Fate
Andrea Cremer - Wolfsbane, Nightshade

7) I have practiced a new author signature. It includes a magic gay fish.

8) I did something weird to my hair! You should come see if you like it.

9) UM SO HERE'S THE REALLY EXCITING PART.

So the way Teen Author Carnival works is there are a bunch of different panels and you can see us talk and stuff! My panel is from 5:15-6:10 and it is called Teenage Angst: Getting It Right - The Emotions, The Voice, The Drama. And, well...here is who is on this panel.

1. David Levithan

2. Susane Colasanti

3. Melissa Walker

4. Kody Keplinger

5. Hannah Moskowitz

6. Gayle Forman

7. Torrey Maldonado

8. Caridad Ferrer

In case you didn't notice, I BOLDED THE NAME David Levithan.

Know why?

Because David Levithan is my FAVORITE AUTHOR IN THE WORLD.

I mean, just check out what I wrote at the front of the traveling GONE, GONE, GONE arc.

I am not only going to talk to David Levithan, I am going to be expected to say intelligent things before or after or possibly both David Levithan. I am going to be a disaster and I am probably going to be hilarious, so you have to come see.

So pretty please, if it is at all possible, come. It is Monday, May 23 from 4pm-7:30pm at the Mulberry Street Library (10 Jersey Street, New York, NY 10012-3332). It is also a zillion percent free, unless you buy something, obviously. Which you probably should.

Most (all?) of the writers on this list I've never actually met, so I'm hideously excited to meet them and hang out with them, and if you want to come and fangirl/boy, I will be fangirl/boying just as hard. We can do it together. But come. Say hi. I like you guys so much.

Even More ARC Tour News!

2011-05-11T15:42:00.000-04:00

So! The arc of Gone, Gone, Gone is out--later than I intended, which is further reason that the dates I've given you are purely estimates and not anything to freak out about.

In case you didn't know, arcs of Gone, Gone, Gone are now available electronically on Galley Grab as well! So I had to do something a little different to make this arc extra-special. I totally encourage you to pick up and read the arc online, whether or not you're in the tour. And I'd love it if you'd consider doing the same review guidelines I posted for the tour itself--review/rate the hell out of it on Goodreads, but save posting it on your blog until closer to release date.

So! To make the arc exciting, I wrote all over the damn thing. There are comments and notes everywhere! I marked which parts were my favorite and which parts were added most recently. I have a little existential crisis in there about the inherent vulgarity in writing about history. One of my favorite things I did was underline the parts that are allusions to songs and other books. I think you guys will like that.

Now for your part. PLEASE fill my book with drawings and comments and whatever the fuck else you want! If you have pictures or drawings or anything you'd like to slip into the binding/into the envelope, I would LOVE that. And if the arc comes to you with any of these goodies, please look at them, enjoy them, and keep them safe so everyone else gets to look at them too! I am SO excited to get the arc back with all the evidence of all of you guys.

If you haven't emailed me your address first, PLEASE do so, even if you know I already have it from something else. Remember to put the week you've been assigned, as arbitrary as those dates are, in the subject line to help me organize. Thank you so much, and I hope you guys like the book!

Tour Update

2011-05-07T15:19:00.002-04:00

Okay, I did, as predicted, leave someone out, so we're going to be sticking someone else in with the Texas people. Since I'm too lazy to shift all the dates around (okay, it's not really a matter of laziness, it's a matter of keeping my records consistent) I want you guys to go by the dates I originally gave you when you're emailing me, but DON'T WORRY ABOUT ACTUALLY KEEPING TO THESE DATES. It's really not a big deal if the book takes until June or something to get back to me. It really doesn't matter. So just be prepared that those dates aren't actual, but PLEASE keep using them in your emails to me. They're just my way of keeping things straight. Thank you!

GONE, GONE, GONE's Travel Schedule!

2011-05-06T21:44:00.009-04:00

Thank you so much everyone who signed up! I am mega, mega excited to get this thing out!

A few notes:

1) I assigned everyone a week that goes from Wednesday to Wednesday. I'm putting it in the mail on Monday so it will hopefully arrive to person #1 on time. It would be great if you could get it in the mail before Wednesday as well. This leads to point #2.

2) Don't freak out about the dates. They're more so we have an order than anything. This is not the army. Nothing is set in stone. Things happen, I understand! People get sick, people have birthdays, the mail takes longer than it logically should, etc. etc. If you need another day or two, go for it. If the book doesn't get to you by the assigned date, wait a few days before you freak out. Just email me and keep me abreast (teehee) of what's going on. I have the tour ending two weeks before the book comes out, so we have a lot of extra days to play with. It's all good.

That being said! If you look at this list and go "oh shit I'm on vacay that week/am getting my brain replaced/am getting my mailbox taken in for a tune-up" let me know and I'll switch you with the person before/after you. Which is easy becaaaause:

3) Everything was determined geographically. That's how the order was worked out. I tried to take the order that people signed up into account, but it very rarely made much of a difference (and thanks to the cruel world, the person who signed up first is getting it last. I'm totally sorry!). But the order of who gets it in Ohio first was decided by who entered first. Same as the people in LA. (Not Texas. You guys were just "how can I not go back and forth across the state a zillion times." Who knows how I did.)

I did it this way so the book can get from place to place as quickly as possible.

So now! A few rules!

1) You know this one already: rate (and review, if you like) on Goodreads ASAP, hold off on blog stuff until March or April. You are now OBLIGATED to review, fishies, even if you hate the damn thing. Tell us WHY you hate it. Tell us in excruciating detail.

2) If you lose it, I will starve you while you watch the other fish gobble up all the fish flakes that should be yours.

3) As soon as you read this blog post, email me. I WILL start tracking you down if necessary, but that'll make me cranky.

PLEEEEEEEEASE put the week you are getting the book in the subject line of your email.

IN THIS EMAIL, I NEED:

Your real name (and do let me know what name I have you under, so I can streamline everything)
Your address
The URL of your blog.

I don't care if I already have this info, send it again.

As soon as I get your address, I will give you (if I have it) the address of the person who comes after you. I won't give out your address until the person I'm giving it to has given me theirs, k? So everything's fair and all. Try not to lose the email with the address, but I'll have them all on file, so don't freak out.

4) Write in it. Yep. I want a note at the beginning or the end. It can say something about the book or it can just say hi or it can say something dirty (preferred). I want you to slip photos or drawings between the cover and the title page for everyone else (and me!) to see. I will write a little letter in it for you before it goes out! Return the favor. Make me smile when I get it back.

Oh, one last thing! If you are not on the list and you have no idea why not, let me know. Also if you're on it twice, because I'm really not all that smart.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO!

May 11th-May 18th: A Book Vacation
May 18th-May 25th: Pam Harris
June 1st-June 8th: sassysam
June 8th-June 15th: Jeremy West
June 15th-June 22nd: Al
June 22nd-June 29th: Tara
June 29th-July 8th: Tracey Hansen
July 6th-July 13th: M.A. Chase
July 13th-July 20th: Jamie Manning
July 20th-July 27th: Mandie Baxter
July 27th-August 3rd: Allison
August 3rd-August 10th: Another Book Junkie
August 10th-August 17th: Christwriter
August 17th-August 24th: Tabitha Michelle
August 24th-August 31st: Kari
August 31st-September 7th: Kelsey (TX)
September 7th-September 14th: Yara
September 14th-September 21st: Jeanette Bruce
September 21st-September 28th: Jacob
September 28th-October 5th: Liz
October 5th-October 12th: Linda
October 12th-October 19th: Janelle Alexander
October 19th-October 26th: Cory
October 26th-November 2nd: fakesteph
November 2nd-November 9th: Fiktshun
November 9th-November 16th: Nora Coon
November 16th-November 23rd: Eliza
November 23rd-November 30th: Lindsay
November 30th-December 7th: Becca C.
December 7th-December 14th: Sara (Manitoba)
December 14th-December 21st: Nicole Loren
December 21st-December 28th: Jamie Kline
December 28th-January 4th: Rachael
January 4th-January 11th: Erin Thomas
January 11th-January 18th: Erin (Michigan)
January 18th-January 25th: Loren Chase
January 25th-February 1st: Jamie B. (OH)
February 1st-February 8th: Lydia Brunswick
February 8th-February 15th: Amanda Sage
February 15th-February 22nd: Jess Tudor
February 22nd-February 29th: Kelsey (NJ)
February 29th-March 7th: Mbee
March 7th-March 14th: April
March 14th-March 21st: Weechagirl
March 21st-March 28th: Miranda White
March 28th-April 4th: Brittany Moore
April 4th-forever: Hannah Moskowitz

I'm Very Excited About This

2011-05-03T16:27:00.011-04:00

EDIT: AAAAND WE'RE CLOSED. Thanks everyone!

So. I have this thing. Look at it!

It's an arc of GONE, GONE, GONE! (and here it is all snuggled with the rest)...

In case you've missed it or you're new here (in which case hey I'm hannah what up have some pizza), GONE, GONE, GONE is my 2012 YA coming out with Simon Pulse.

I don't like to pick favorites, but...I really like this book.

You can check out the official blurb right here, on the back of the book: (click to make it bigger!)

But I should say a little about it, right?

GONE, GONE, GONE is one of my very favorite things I've written. It's about love and guns and lots of other ugly little things. It is dark and quiet and it is also really damn jubilant, if you ask me. It has my favorite narrator I've ever written in the form of this weird, passionate, awkward insomniac named Craig, and one of my favorite characters in Lio, who is maybe the character I've put through the most shit, ever, but is also ridiculously well-adjusted.

Also there are parents! They are present! And they are good parents!

And of course there are siblings, because it is one of my books.

Anyway. I hope you like it because I really do.

BUT HERE'S THE EXCITING PART.

Usually, when I get my two arcs from Simon Pulse, I keep one for my greedy little self and give one away to someone on the blog.

But why give it away to one person when I can give it to all of you??

That's right, fishies...WE'RE HAVING AN ARC TOUR.

And guess what? This book doesn't start until April 17th, 2012, but if you guys help me out, you can have this damn thing really, really soon.

Here's the deal.

YOU ARE ELIGIBLE TO ENTER IF: You are in the U.S. or Canada, you are a book blogger, and you promise to review this book. (NOTE: My definition of "book blogger" is pretty lenient. If you have a blog where you will review my book, you're in.)

To get into the tour, you need to comment on this post telling me that you've done both of two things:

1. Added GONE, GONE, GONE on Goodreads. Right here.

2. Bought INVINCIBLE SUMMER.

Yeah, that's kinda gross, I realize. But chick's gotta eat. Just comment and be like "yeah, I bought that shit." It counts, obviously, if you ordered it and it's on its way. It counts, obviously, if you order/buy it as a response to this post.

(But hannah, can't we just lie and tell you we bought it if we hadn't? Yeah, you can, d-bag.)

I want to give each of you a week with the book, which means the first 50 people to comment are in. U.S. and Canada only, sorry, it's just not fair to make someone else pay the postage to get it to you, internationals. I love you dearly.

If 50 people don't enter, no problem! I'll close this after a week and send the book out however many weeks before release. So if 20 people enter, I'll send it to the first person 20 weeks before release. So if you want it now, tell your friends! The more people, the sooner you get it. EDIT: If I get enough entries, I'll consider extending the tour through a month or so after it comes out.

I'll organize it geographically, so the closest person to College Park, MD will get it first, you lucky dog. LEAVE YOUR CITY AND STATE in your comment, and later I will make you email me your address and I will pass it along to the person before you in the tour. Hopefully I will not fuck this up. I promise not to give your address to weird people.

So yes, you'll have a week to get the book, read it, and send it to the next person. I'll send to the first person, the last person will send it back to me. If you drop the ball and lose my arc, you will be BLACKLISTED FROM EXISTENCE. You don't want that.

Important note, worth repeating: YOU MUST REVIEW THIS BOOK, whether or not you like it. But! Please DO NOT post this review on your blog until a month or two before release date. But PLEASE PLEASE rate it, and even review it! on Goodreads or Librarything or wherever the fuck (but Goodreads, please, I'm a Goodreads ho) as soon as possible after you finish it. I need the buzz, kay? Let's grassroots this shit.

Any questions, PLEASE hit me up either in the comments or on twitter (@hannahmosk). Aaaand go!

So Here's The Thing: Invincible Summer's Cover

2011-04-23T03:40:00.011-04:00

When I first saw this book, I thought it was a summer kind of read. I've heard it's rather emotional. The cover doesn't make it appear that way at all!

Because of the cover I did think it was going to be a beachy read that I wouldn't be able to get into.

The cover of this book is entirely misleading.

Actually, I'm ashamed to say I think I DID judge this by it's cover. I've seen it around a bunch of times, wasn't really drawn in by the cover so just skipped over it. STUPID ME! This sounds like exactly my kind of read!

Cover and synopsis are pretty misleading. Don't judge this book based on the cover.

First off, this cover is weirdly my #1 favorite of 2011 so far!

The cover is so infuriatingly off. But honestly, I don't have a better idea....maybe a portrait of Albert Camus?

The current cover sucks. They should really let readers take votes on these things before they come out.

The synopsis is a little misleading. Sure there were girls and boys, love and lust, and a beach, but that wasn't what the book was about.

The cover and the reviews I've read of this book turned out to be 2 different things.

They really should change the cover. It doesn't fit the book whatsoever.

From all the reviews I've read, I just can't get over the fact that the cover kind of gives the wrong impression

Now I'm going to tell you that this whole blurb is totally inadequate and only the very last line really describes this book, in my opinion. Also, this is the worst cover ever for this book.

These are all quotes from reviews, positive and negative, and I could go on forever and ever. These are the ones I could find in five minutes.

All right, guys. I hear ya.

I did a post a while back where I responded to a lot of the "wow, your cover makes me want to go to the gym" comments I'd gotten, etc. (A quick summary of that post: you're hot, shut up, and that chick is photoshopped. I saw her when she had half the tits she has now.)

But this is kind of a different issue, yeah? Because this isn't really about what the cover looks like, but about what it says about the book.

It's a beautiful cover. I'll state that outright. It's a cover I'm proud to have on one of my books. It's doing its job and people are picking it up. I think the spine in particular is absolutely lovely. If you've seen IS in person, you'll know that the cover is made out of some kind of fantastic soft I don't even know that makes you want to put your head on it and go to sleep.

It's a beautiful cover.

But no, it's not the cover I would have chosen for this book.

So my 2012 book, Gone, Gone, Gone? It's a love story. It is so completely a love story. The WIP is a love story. I fucking love writing love stories.

Back in 2008, when I wrote IS, I did not know how to write a love story.

And I wasn't trying to.

This is a story about a family.

Some of the people up there ^ are responding to a little line at the end of the goodreads description that says "Not your typical beach read." That's not part of the real blurb. That's not on the back of the book.

That's something I went in and added myself a few weeks ago.

My publisher is amazing. Hands down. And they chose a cover and a blurb that would get people to pick it up. And I think it's working. I honestly could not be happier with how many people seem to be hearing about IS and picking it up. I saw a comment on an interview the other day where a girl said that the only reason IS was popular was because it had a chick in a bikini on it. Um guys. SHE SAID MY BOOK IS POPULAR.

This cover is doing its job. My publisher knows its shit, man. It's a beautiful cover, and I have so much support from the beautiful people in-house, and damn am I proud of my little book and INCREDIBLY thankful for the people who helped me make it and nourish it and get it out into the world. I really can't say that enough, and if you take one thing away from this post, let that be it.

But see, this cover is also pissing you guys off.

And that part sucks.

You all know this, but it's worth repeating: authors don't choose their covers. Authors don't write the blurb on the back of the book. And here's one you maybe don't hear as often: authors do not know what sells.

Yes, the love triangle aspect of IS's plot has been heavily pushed. It has been since the second my then-agent read it. The two brothers sleeping with the same girl? Of course it's weird. It's the hook because it's weird. It's not a hook I'd thought of. It wasn't a major part of the story, as far as I was concerned.

Once the book sold, I amped that up and made it a larger part of the plot. I made Noah have a real relationship with Melinda. I added more fights and conversations. These things absolutely strengthened the book as a whole.

It's not as if my book was ruined by this marketing, is what I'm trying to say.

The only part of that book I can control is what happens inside of it. And the truth is, the parts of that that I think are important would make really shitty book covers. Like the girl up there said, how do you design a book cover for a book about brothers and sign language and sex and Camus?

It's not easy.

But please. That don't judge a book by its cover thing? You have to understand something.

When you don't pick up a book because of its cover, you are not punishing the design team.

When you say, I would have picked up this book, but I hate the cover, so I won't, you are not punishing the design team.

When you refuse to read a review or take a second look at a book because of its cover, you are not punishing the design team.

You are punishing the author.

There are SO MANY reasons not to pick up my book. If that's the road you want to take, pick a good reason! Make it something that I did wrong. Make it about the ugly paragraph on page whatever or the fact that you hate books about big families or that you hate philosophy or that I peed on your front lawn or I said something mean to you on twitter or you don't like my nose. Make it something about ME. About something I did. Okay, maybe not the nose thing, then.

But guys. It's a book about a family. I will tell you a zillion times if I have to. It is a book about a boy and his family. It is a book about a boy and the siblings he is co-dependently creepy close to. There is sex in. There is more sign language than there is sex. This is not a book about a girl.

Not to mention, and here's the zinger:

I have made an executive decision.

If we're going by screen(page?)-time and character importance alone, that's Chase's goddamn sister (the only character in the book ever described as wearing, and I quote, "that green bikini," just sayin') on the cover and NOT the girl Chase and Noah are sleeping with.

And Claudia, the little sister, is the hero of the story. I will say that a million times too. Claudia is the hero of the story.

And in my mind, that's Claudia on the cover. That's my girl.

She deserves a cover.

And believing that makes me like my cover a hell of a lot more. Because it makes it darker and stranger and a fuckload more awkward and dirty sexy and God don't you want to put a towel on her and cover her up now? GOOD. Then read my book because you will like it. Seriously. Read this book if you want to cover up your little sister.

My point is: it's Claudia on the cover. That's my official statement. It's Claudia on the cover. And any time discussion of this cover ever comes up again, that's what I'm going to say.

And if you want to do me a favor, you will a. buy the book because bitch has to eat and b. TELL PEOPLE. You don't have to defend the cover. You don't have to like it. You don't have to offer a big explanation. But if you see a review dissing it, just leave a comment that says, "Hey, actually that's the sister on the cover."

And then walk away.

And that won't change the way a lot of people feel. But maybe, maybe it'll make a few say guhwhatthefuck? And that's why I write, really. It's especially why I write messed up shit like IS.

So. The chick on the cover. It's Claudia. And it is a beautiful cover beacause Claudia is goddamn beautiful.

It's not Melinda. It's not the girl they're sleeping with.

And really, this is all kind of appropriate, because it's Melinda's job to screw up everything.

So that's really all I have to say, so I'm going to leave you with a few things.

The first is Invincible Summer's trailer. Yeah, I just posted this. Have it again. And here's why.

1. I worked closely with Vania in developing this. I chose the images at the beginning. I also told her I wanted making out. Because making out sells, guys. That's the moral of this story. And maybe that sucks a little.

The more important reason is:

2. The voiceover? I wrote that. Just me. No input. Vania said do whatever you want, make it in Chase's voice. And I wrote that. It isn't an excerpt from the story.

And maybe it's a response to that girl, that girl that everyone assumes--and I'm not saying it's dumb to assume this, guys, it's only natural--is the girl on my cover, and therefore the girl everyone thinks is the focus of the story.

Maybe that's what the voice over is about. Maybe I'm talking about the girl who ruined it.

I don't know.

And I'll also give you links to two reviews, one positive and one negative, from two people who I think really captured what the book is about, whether or not they liked it.

Nay

Yay

I would absolutely love comments on this post, and I would also love if you would tweet the shit out of this or get it tattooed on you or otherwise let this be known to the entirety of the world. Make a song out of this post and then sing it. Put it on youtube. Add a bugle. Self-publish a book with only the words IT'S CLAUDIA ON THE COVER repeated over and over and over.

Whatever you do, be it tattoo or nothing, thank you for reading. This is all for you guys, you know?

And the Last Winner Is...

2011-04-20T22:49:00.004-04:00

Nice job, guys! I especially loved seeing you name those Muser books. I'm so proud of my musers.

1. Tons of correct choices, but a few: The Naughty List/So Many Boys/A Need So Beautiful by Suzanne Young, Handcuffs/The Red Masque of Death by Bethany Griffin, When the Sea is Rising Red by Cat Hellisen, The Unidentified by Rae Mariz, Kiss The Morning Stare by Elissa Hoole, and I'm sure many more that I've missed. We're kind of an awesome bunch.

2. Gray!

3. Zombie Tag is out December 20th, 2011. That's just before Christmas and the first night of Hanukkah, so it's a good time to be a present for some middle grader you love.

4. Well, mine would have to be "You've been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to your life" from my homegirl "Shady Lane," though earlynerdspecial's line from The Engine Driver is way up there. (Although, on my more angsty days? "As I hide behind these books I read, while scribbling my poetry/like art could save a wretch like me, with some ideal ideology/that no one can hope to achieve, And I am never real; it is just a sketch of me/And everything I made is trite and cheap and a waste of paint, of tape, of time" from Bright Eyes's "A Waste of Paint." Good times!)

So we had 16 correct answers! And our winner is...

maine character. :) yaaaaay. email me!

You guys are so fabulous, thank you for being interested in IS! I hope that if you didn't win, you'll scoop up a copy of Invincible Summer on your own. Because, you know, I think the book is pretty cool.

I think in the next few days I'm going to be addressing the issue of the cover and the cover copy that almost all the reviewers have pointed out. It's important! And we might need a refresher course on why you can't use my book to hate your body. Come on humans!

You guys are amazing, and thank you so much for giving a shit about my little book.

THE LAST SCAVENGER HUNT

2011-04-19T17:35:00.004-04:00

Happy Invincible Summer release day! I hope it's as spectacular for you as a Tuesday can be.

So here are the answers from yesterday's..

1. Abby (Also acceptable: Abigail, though I not sure she would agree with me on that.)
2. Shady Lane
3. "Shady Lane" by Pavement, teehee
4. Wil (Zombie Tag) and Will (Break). Wil is short for Wilson, Will is short for William. Go figure.

Everyone got them right! Which means today will need to be much harder...

And the randomly selected winner:

Essie!! Congratulations, Essie! Emailing me within 24 hours would be fabulous.

So we have one more scavenger hunt left! Here are the rules, same as every day:

You will have 24 hours, starting from the minute this post goes up, to answer a series of questions. You will post your answers in the comments section of this post. Some of these questions have multiple (perhaps nearly infinite) correct answers, and some do not. You must answer all correctly to have a chance to be the randomly selected winner. There will be one winner each day, and I will announce that winner in the post opening the next round of the contest. If you do not win, you are absolutely free to enter the next few rounds! If you do win, you have 24 hours to email me your mailing information before I pass off to a different winner. And please do not enter again.

To find the answers of the questions, I suggest you try some of the following strategies:

a) look deep inside yourself

b) Google it

c) copy the answers of someone who posted before you

d) ask a muser. Just saying. These guys tend to know things. They're also busy people, so you might be lucky and you might not.

(Some names to try: @gracetopia, @Sagecollins, @sayitwhirly, @althrasher, @_bethanygriffin, @briannaorg, @suzanneyoung, @brittanimae, @libbymartin, @raemariz)

e) ask me. I may take pity on you, especially if you ask me in a funny way.

f) otherwise bribe/cheat/steal. This is a lawless society.

There will be none of that +1 for following or retweeting nonsense, but I would be ever so much obliged if you would consider adding the little book in question to your goodreads shelf, because I am a goodreads whore and sometimes you need little things to make you happy.

--

Today's rules!

THE PRIZE IS:

One copy of INVINCIBLE SUMMER and one CD of INVINCIBLE SUMMER'S PLAYLIST, as well as one signed bookmark.

THE RESTRICTIONS ARE:

WE'RE INTERNATIONAL TODAY!! Enter from anywhere in the whole world. Even Antarctica!

One entry per customer. No exceptions. Don't make me come down there.

Contest ends at 5:45 PM, April 20th, 2011.

And our questions are:

1) So I know you've heard of the musers. We're a family of about 25 writers. Besides mine, what are two of our published (released already or no) books?

2) As of right this minute, what color shirt am I wearing?

3) What is Zombie Tag's release date?

4) If you had to choose one lyric that best describes you and your life, what would you choose?

Break a leg!

An Important Interruption

2011-04-18T23:17:00.002-04:00

We're nearly an hour early, but...

Happy Invincible Summer day, everyone.

:)

THE THIRD SCAVENGER HUNT

2011-04-18T16:04:00.002-04:00

Well done, guys! Yesterday's scavenger hunt had 21 people answering correctly! The answers were:

1. EEF

2. Elise (French middle name in the middle of my mega-Jewish name ftw?)

3. False

4. It's just a jump to the left and then a step to the right, put your hands on your hips and brings your knees in tight, but it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane. Repeat!

And the randomly selected winner is...

Karen Yuan!!! Congratulations, Karen! Please get in touch with me with your info sometime in the next 24 hours. But I'll attempt to track you down if I don't hear from you, don't worry.

Time for the 3rd of our 4 scavenger hunts, since Invincible Summer is out TOMORROW!! Oh wow.

The same rules as the days before:

You will have 24 hours, starting from the minute this post goes up, to answer a series of questions. You will post your answers in the comments section of this post. Some of these questions have multiple (perhaps nearly infinite) correct answers, and some do not. You must answer all correctly to have a chance to be the randomly selected winner. There will be one winner each day, and I will announce that winner in the post opening the next round of the contest. If you do not win, you are absolutely free to enter the next few rounds! If you do win, you have 24 hours to email me your mailing information before I pass off to a different winner. And please do not enter again.

To find the answers of the questions, I suggest you try some of the following strategies:

a) look deep inside yourself

b) Google it

c) copy the answers of someone who posted before you

d) ask a muser. Just saying. These guys tend to know things. They're also busy people, so you might be lucky and you might not.

(Some names to try: @gracetopia, @Sagecollins, @sayitwhirly, @althrasher, @_bethanygriffin, @briannaorg, @suzanneyoung, @brittanimae, @libbymartin, @raemariz)

e) ask me. I may take pity on you, especially if you ask me in a funny way.

f) otherwise bribe/cheat/steal. This is a lawless society.

There will be none of that +1 for following or retweeting nonsense, but I would be ever so much obliged if you would consider adding the little book in question to your goodreads shelf, because I am a goodreads whore and sometimes you need little things to make you happy.

--

Today's rules!

THE PRIZE IS:

One copy of INVINCIBLE SUMMER and one CD of INVINCIBLE SUMMER'S PLAYLIST, as well as one signed bookmark.

THE RESTRICTIONS ARE:

WE'RE INTERNATIONAL TODAY!! Enter from anywhere in the whole world. Even Antarctica!

One entry per customer. No exceptions. Don't make me come down there.

Contest ends at 4:30 PM, April 19th, 2011.

And our questions are (today we have a theme!) :

1) Hannah Moskowitz has one sibling. What is his or her name? (hint: are you and I facebook friends? That will help.)

2) What is Hannah Moskowitz's Absolute Write username?

3) That username is a reference to a song. What is the name of that song?

4) Here's the tricky one: A major character in BREAK and a major character in Zombie Tag have the same name, though they are spelled slightly differently. What is this name?

Good luck!

THE SECOND SCAVENGER HUNT

2011-04-17T15:45:00.004-04:00

So! Yesterday's answers were:

1. Sarah Greenhill
2. 445.3 lbs
3. (you guys had good answers for this one!)
4. Gideon

Fourteen people got all four answers correct. And from those fifteen, the randomly selected winner is....

ERIN!! (though the worst lyric of that song is obviously "today never happened before.")

Congratulations, Erin! You have 24 hours to email me your info.

Now for the next scavenger hunt! These are the every day rules. Please skip if you read them yesterday:

You will have 24 hours, starting from the minute this post goes up, to answer a series of questions. You will post your answers in the comments section of this post. Some of these questions have multiple (perhaps nearly infinite) correct answers, and some do not. You must answer all correctly to have a chance to be the randomly selected winner. There will be one winner each day, and I will announce that winner in the post opening the next round of the contest. If you do not win, you are absolutely free to enter the next few rounds! If you do win, you have 24 hours to email me your mailing information before I pass off to a different winner. And please do not enter again.

To find the answers of the questions, I suggest you try some of the following strategies:

a) look deep inside yourself

b) Google it

c) copy the answers of someone who posted before you

d) ask a muser. Just saying. These guys tend to know things. They're also busy people, so you might be lucky and you might not.

(Some names to try: @gracetopia, @Sagecollins, @sayitwhirly, @althrasher, @_bethanygriffin, @briannaorg, @suzanneyoung, @brittanimae, @libbymartin, @raemariz)

e) ask me. I may take pity on you, especially if you ask me in a funny way.

f) otherwise bribe/cheat/steal. This is a lawless society.

There will be none of that +1 for following or retweeting nonsense, but I would be ever so much obliged if you would consider adding the little book in question to your goodreads shelf, because I am a goodreads whore and sometimes you need little things to make you happy.

--

NOW. For the special rules for today.

THE PRIZE IS:

One copy of INVINCIBLE SUMMER and one CD of INVINCIBLE SUMMER'S PLAYLIST, as well as one signed bookmark.

THE RESTRICTIONS ARE:

U.S. and Canada only once again (sorry guys! There will be an international day).

One entry per customer. No exceptions. Don't make me come down there.

Contest ends at 4:00 PM, April 18th, 2011.

AND YOUR QUESTIONS ARE:

1) When played on piano, what are the first three notes of "Ode to Joy?"

2) What is Hannah Moskowitz's middle name?

3) True or False: In INVINCIBLE SUMMER, Claudia is older than Chase.

4) Explain to me, please, how one dances the Time Warp.

Go go go!

THE FIRST SCAVENGER HUNT

2011-04-16T13:59:00.006-04:00

So.

We are having the first of four scavenger hunts today.

You are about to embark on a quest to win a copy of INVINCIBLE SUMMER.

Good luck.

--

First, the rules for every day:

You will have 24 hours, starting from the minute this post goes up, to answer a series of questions. You will post your answers in the comments section of this post. Some of these questions have multiple (perhaps nearly infinite) correct answers, and some do not. You must answer all correctly to have a chance to be the randomly selected winner. There will be one winner each day, and I will announce that winner in the post opening the next round of the contest. If you do not win, you are absolutely free to enter the next few rounds! If you do win, you have 24 hours to email me your mailing information before I pass off to a different winner. And please do not enter again.

To find the answers of the questions, I suggest you try some of the following strategies:

a) look deep inside yourself

b) Google it

c) copy the answers of someone who posted before you

d) ask a muser. Just saying. These guys tend to know things. They're also busy people, so you might be lucky and you might not.

(Some names to try: @gracetopia, @Sagecollins, @sayitwhirly, @althrasher, @_bethanygriffin, @briannaorg, @suzanneyoung, @brittanimae, @libbymartin, @raemariz)

e) ask me. I may take pity on you, especially if you ask me in a funny way.

f) otherwise bribe/cheat/steal. This is a lawless society.

There will be none of that +1 for following or retweeting nonsense, but I would be ever so much obliged if you would consider adding the little book in question to your goodreads shelf, because I am a goodreads whore and sometimes you need little things to make you happy.

NOW. For the special rules for today.

THE PRIZE IS:

One copy of INVINCIBLE SUMMER and one CD of INVINCIBLE SUMMER'S PLAYLIST, as well as one signed bookmark.

THE RESTRICTIONS ARE:

U.S. and Canada only this time (sorry guys! There will be an international day).

One entry per customer. No exceptions. Don't make me come down there.

Contest ends at 2:30 PM, April 17th, 2011.

AND YOUR QUESTIONS ARE:

1) What is Hannah Moskowitz's porn star name?

2) What is the weight of a Tyranitar?

3) What is the worst lyric from your favorite song? (Example: My favorite song is "A Perfect Sonnet" by Bright Eyes, and the worst lyric is absolutely "so I stand in the sun/and I breathe with my lungs" because wow. That's pretty terrible. Obviously there are many correct answers. I want yours.)

4) Who is the first character named in INVINCIBLE SUMMER?

aaaaaaand go.

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 20

2011-04-15T15:08:00.007-04:00

SONG #20: "Bixby Canyon Bridge" by Death Cab for Cutie.

The last very important song, and the last song period.

I always like to say that I write in returns. And it's something I have to remind myself while I'm writing all the time, ha. If a character says something important or goes somewhere important, he has to somehow return to that space, literally or otherwise. There are very few times I'm not in favor of a character physically returning to a significant place. It always helps.

Invincible Summer is a book about returns, really, because it takes place on the same beach, in the same house, but each part has an entire unspoken year in-between it and the next. So there's a lot you're not seeing, and the location is what pulls the story together. If I had them in a different place every summer, it would be a lot more difficult for both of us, probably. It would be hard for you to see what's changed. That's what returns are about: an impossibly easy way to see what's changed when a space or a room or a moment remains the same.

That's what Bixby Canyon Bridge is about.

And that's the end of the book, guys. The giveaways start tomorrow! I'm crazy excited for them. There will be more details tomorrow, but quickly: each one's going to be open for only 24 hours. At least 1 of the days will allow international entry as well, but most will be only U.S and Canada, sorry. They're going to be ridiculously fun for me (and hopefully fun for you) and, well...I hope that you will like them.

I also hope that you will like Invincible Summer.

And I hope you're having a lovely day.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

Barefoot in the shallow creek,
I grabbed some stones from underneath
And waited for you to speak to me.

AND HERE IS THE PLAYLIST:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery
12) "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack
13) "No One's Boy" by Marcy Playground
14) "You Can Do Better Than Me" by Death Cab for Cutie
15) "Sorry" by Pushmonkey
16) "Little Sparrow" by David Cook
17) "Long Division" by Death Cab for Cutie
18) "Not Just Sometimes But Always" by Idlewild
19) "Long Long Time" by Guy Forsyth.
20) "Bixby Canyon Bridge" by Death Cab for Cutie.

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 19

2011-04-14T17:08:00.005-04:00

SONG #19: "Long Long Time" by Guy Forsyth.

This is one of those songs that appeared somehow on my iTunes. It's also one of my very favorites. So thanks, iTunes ghost!

So really this is a song about frustration with American and capitalism and big business, but it goes so well here because there's something angrily nostalgic and at the same time a little hopeful about it. And it works really well between Not Just Sometimes But Always and Song #20 (the last song!) which are both more serious. It's also a song about coping with bullshit, frankly. And that's relevant on a personal level for Chase the same way it is on a national level in the song.

This is a really exhilarating scene in the book, and I think this works really well.

Also, it's an amazing song.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

I remember listening to songs about trains and feeling the rush of wonder
At the possibility that the world was infinite and accessible all at the same time.
And then it was songs about highways and born to be wild and little red corvette
And the road went on forever in my mind.
But now it's clogged bumper to bumper with stinking SUVs and two-story pickup trucks that can drive over anything except the two-story pickup truck right in front of it.
Not even the highways look the same, Starbucks and 7-elevens and Walmarts jam the feeder roads.
We don't live around this mess, we live under it.

It's been a long long long long long long long long long long long long time
It's been a long long long long long long long long long long long long time
Since I felt fine.

PLAYLIST SO FAR:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery
12) "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack
13) "No One's Boy" by Marcy Playground
14) "You Can Do Better Than Me" by Death Cab for Cutie
15) "Sorry" by Pushmonkey
16) "Little Sparrow" by David Cook
17) "Long Division" by Death Cab for Cutie
18) "Not Just Sometimes But Always" by Idlewild
19) "Long Long Time" by Guy Forsyth

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 18

2011-04-14T01:41:00.004-04:00

SONG #18: "Not Just Sometimes But Always" by Idlewild.

Two songs to go.

I'm putting a bit of a spoiler warning on this one. Don't listen if you hate knowing anything (though why would you be following along with these posts, really).

Besides that, I don't know what to say about this one.

It's by far the most important song on the playlist. Or to anything I've ever written. And it still makes me cry.

I should have dedicated the book to it, I'll tell you that.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

I tune the radio to drown out these voices I don't know
I'm suddenly an empty house that almost fills up with home
There are days and nights when I don't need to close my eyes
And they feel as real to me
Like an elegy
In disguise

CORRELATING PASSAGE:
note: this is the last passage I'll be posting. The last two songs come naked. Sorry.

“Uncross your arms and put down the fucking Camus! This is our life!”

--p. 262

PLAYLIST SO FAR:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery
12) "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack
13) "No One's Boy" by Marcy Playground
14) "You Can Do Better Than Me" by Death Cab for Cutie
15) "Sorry" by Pushmonkey
16) "Little Sparrow" by David Cook
17) "Long Division" by Death Cab for Cutie
18) "Not Just Sometimes But Always" by Idlewild

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 17

2011-04-12T14:30:00.004-04:00

SONG #17: "Long Division" by Death Cab for Cutie.

We're four songs from the end, and we've finally hit the first of the VERY IMPORTANT SONGS.

Long Division is one of my favorite songs. I'm sure I'm not the only Death Cab fan who views this as a sequel to "Your Heart is an Empty Room." It's about someone who used to run away all the time who's trying to change. Trying to stay.

This one really could have gone anywhere on the playlist. It's where it is more for mood than anything. It provides a good break between "Little Sparrow" and song #18.

But this song is hugely important, because this song is where Noah came from.

It's no secret that Noah is one of my very favorites of the characters I've written. And that might be because he was the easiest. Being inside Noah's head would have been a nightmare (and a bitch for you to read, because God that kid is angry) but his lines were always the easiest ones to write. I could space out a little while I was writing dialogue with Noah. I would start with one line and then I would just let myself run with it. Noah is smart and poetic and cynical and so incredibly affectionate, and he knows a ton about the outside world and just about nothing about himself.

And in a lot of ways, Invincible Summer is Noah's story. Claudia is the real hero--I will forever maintain that Claudia is the hero--but if the story has a tragic hero, it's absolutely Noah. And the fact that the book is in Chase's head let me have a really fun time writing Noah, because Chase absolutely adores him. I mean, fuck, Chase is sleeping with a girl in attempts to be closer to him. It's fucked-up and crazy and it is all because of this song.

This song is where I got Noah, and Melinda, and the relationship between them. This song is all of that.

So let's have a lot of text today.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

His head was a city of paper buildings
And the echoes that remained
Of old friends and lovers, their features bleeding
Together in his brain

And once it'd start, it was harder to
Tell them apart

He was always distracted
By the very mention
Of an open door
'Cause he had sworn not to be what he'd been before
To be a remain remain remain remainder
To be a remain remain remain remainder

The television was snowing softly
As she hunted for her keys
She said she never envisioned him the type of person
capable of such deceit

And they carried on like long division
And it was clear with every page
That they were further away from a solution that would play
Without a remain remain remain remainder

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

I don't blame Noah for what happened. None of us do. I think, for a while, he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for us to lose it and finally scream at him that we were so angry and so disappointed and we wished he'd never come home that night. He used to steal my stuff every time he came over. He wouldn't be sneaky about it, and he always took stuff that I'd be sure to notice, like my favorite shirt or my toothbrush. I confronted him about it once, and he kept saying, “Why don't you tell me what you're really mad about? Why don't you tell me what the real problem is?” until I eventually told him to shut up and just stop stealing my shit. It's not as if we're still fighting about that, but that was when he stopped coming over.

I take a deep breath. I'm feeling okay about going back. Quiet, but okay. I'm feeling ready. After all, as Noah and Camus and probably Melinda—though I don't think of her much anymore—would say, "one always finds one's burden again."

--p. 242-243

PLAYLIST SO FAR:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery
12) "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack
13) "No One's Boy" by Marcy Playground
14) "You Can Do Better Than Me" by Death Cab for Cutie
15) "Sorry" by Pushmonkey
16) "Little Sparrow" by David Cook
17) "Long Division" by Death Cab for Cutie

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 16

2011-04-11T18:12:00.004-04:00

SONG #16: "Little Sparrow" by David Cook.

So. I didn't know the original before I knew this cover.

I heard the cover on American Idol (judgey judge judge, yeah I know) and I loved that it sounded so dark and haunting. Since then, I know and love the original--I love Dolly and always will, and I'm not sure why I didn't know this song--but David Cook's version still works for me on a very different level. It's darker and more desperate, and it has a hollow, echoey sound to it. David' Cook's version is something you'd scream outside at night, so it...worked well for this part of the book.

I need to start being cagey at this point. So you don't get an excerpt. Just know that they lyrics to this song have just about nothing to do with the scene in question, or with the book at all. It's all about the tone of it, and the desperation, and the darkness. But if you take bits out of context...it can work. So when I listen to this song, I let those lines jump out at me.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

If I were a little sparrow
O'er these mountains I would fly
I would find him, I would find him
Look into his lying eyes

I would flutter all around him
On my little sparrow wings
I would ask him, I would ask him
Why he let me love in vain

CORRELATING PASSAGE: (um...how about some Camus instead?)

"Originally innocent without knowing it, we were now guilty without meaning to be."

--p. 236

PLAYLIST SO FAR:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery
12) "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack
13) "No One's Boy" by Marcy Playground
14) "You Can Do Better Than Me" by Death Cab for Cutie
15) "Sorry" by Pushmonkey
16) "Little Sparrow" by David Cook

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 15

2011-04-10T15:10:00.005-04:00

SONG #15: "Sorry" by Pushmonkey.

This song. Not only did it appear, like No One's Boy, on my iTunes with no reasonable explanation for its existence, but you can't actually buy it on iTunes. It doesn't have it. When I wanted to get it again for my new computer, I had to jump through all these hoops and get a download of it, which depresses me, because I never pirate music. (Or anything. Seriously.)

While looking for a video of this song, I discovered that a lot of people are saying, "This song just appeared on my computer!" Song. Where are you coming from.

So. This song. No idea how it got there, but it went on the playlist the first time I heard it mostly because it works so well with No One's Boy. You'll see in the excerpt that I very obviously am alluding to No One's Boy in this scene. This is just...an angrier, more final version of it.

We're really getting towards the end of the 3rd summer now. Something's about to happen.

Five songs left.

Also, a nice big excerpt for you today! Right after the--

SAMPLE LYRIC:

So drink your coffee
I made you breakfast
You're wearing my t-shirt for the last time
A revelation, we'll never make it
I'm staring at you for the last time
I'm sorry
You know I'm sorry

You lay in bed next to him at night
Convince yourself that what you did was right
Instead of him, you'll want me back
You can't move on
I know you'll wind up missing me

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

For some reason, my response to this is to take my restless hands and pull my shoes off and throw them toward the bed. Then I'm on my feet, feeling the carpet grain with my toes and wishing I was feeling the sand. Digging in with my toes, I won't get off I won't get off I won't move you can't make me while the ocean wears the sand away.

The bass booms downstairs and I hate it, I hate it. I can't hear the rain anymore. Maybe it stopped.

“I am not your boy,” I'm saying. “I'm not anybody's boy.”

Noah doesn't move.

“Not yours.” My voice is so hoarse and the next thing I know I'm facing Noah and screaming, “Get off the floor! Get off the floor and take me home!”

--p. 225

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery
12) "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack
13) "No One's Boy" by Marcy Playground
14) "You Can Do Better Than Me" by Death Cab for Cutie
15) "Sorry" by Pushmonkey

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 14

2011-04-09T17:59:00.003-04:00

SONG #14: "You Can Do Better Than Me" by Death Cab for Cutie.

I love Death Cab for Cutie very, very dearly. This is the first song on the playlist that comes from the magical album Narrow Stairs, which is really the reason Invincible Summer exists. The album came out on May 18th, 2008, and I still hadn't listened to it a month and a half later, when I started IS. It was just sitting in my iTunes.

(side note: I think at some point in the past I've said that I wrote IS in 2009. That is a lie. I wrote it over summer 2008, and it sold in summer 2009. I have figured this out now. So IS is coming out, same as Break, about 2 years after I wrote it. Zombie Tag will be the quickest, and it's coming out about a year and a half after I wrote it. Publishing is slow! Fun facts.)

So one rainy day I had nothing to do and I wanted to write a book, so I listened to the album. And two songs in particular jumped out and shaped, respectively, the character of Noah and the end of the book.

This isn't either of those songs. This one made it to the playlist after, but it comes first chronologically. But I'm telling you all that stuff about Narrow Stairs because this is the point in the playlist where we get to the songs that directly inspired the book. The others were mostly just ones that worked. From here on out, they really contributed.

So let's do this.

This is a song about a girl.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

I'm starting to feel
We stayed together out of fear of dying alone
I've been slipping through the years
My old clothes don't fit like they once did
So they hang like ghosts of the people I've been

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

For the first time in a long time I think she looks beautiful. Not hot and not disgusting. Just beautiful.

--p. 223

PLAYLIST SO FAR:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery
12) "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack
13) "No One's Boy" by Marcy Playground
14) "You Can Do Better Than Me" by Death Cab for Cutie

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 13

2011-04-08T14:34:00.002-04:00

SONG #13: "No One's Boy" by Marcy Playground.

This song is, in a lot of ways--most of which I'll get into in two days--a pair with song #15. Their passages cross-reference each other. I got them both in the same way, meaning...I have no idea.

No One's Boy and song #15 are examples of playlist making at its weirdest and most exciting. When I was working on the first draft of the playlist, when I'd hardly started the first draft of the book, I scrolled through iTunes and chose songs that sounded good and two songs that I didn't know that had interesting titles. "No One's Boy" sounded like it could work.

I have no idea, no idea at all, how this song and #15 got into my iTunes. I have a theory that they were on my computer before I got there (which would be bizarre and likely impossible, but there you go). They didn't come on a soundtrack with anything else. I didn't hear them on TV first. I had no other songs by either band.

I really don't know.

But I love this song. It's raw and it's creepy and it's everything that the next few chapters had to be, and this song gets me right into it. It's mean and it's pleading, but at the same time it's completely adamant. And I always, always picture people on a Ferris Wheel when I hear it. They're sitting in their little cart, having an argument, just about to get off. This isn't a scene in the book.

But it might as well be.

Anyway, we're pretty much full-speed ahead after this point.

This song is so perfect that, sure, what the hell, let's have the whole song here. It's short.

THE WHOLE DAMN THING:

Angel,
You missed your chance to be the prom queen
And so you turned into a wet dream
Star of your own video
Late night show on the floor
A bad girl no one's watching
As you slow move to the rhythm
Of this sweet sound
Booming through the radio
Late night show that they ignore
Are you lonely

'Cause I'm no one's boy
I'm no one's boy
And I'll be all you need
Only if you plead
Pray do
Angel blue

If you'll be my girl
If you'll be my girl
I'm no ones boy
And I'll be all you need
But only if you'll bleed
Pray do

Hey hey, don't walk away from me
I found you
I can find you

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

God, how many times will she have to sleep with one of us before she understands that nobody lives with Noah, Noah just sometimes lives with you.

“He's not your boy,” I say, quietly. “And he's not mine either.”

--p. 196

PLAYLIST SO FAR:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery
12) "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack
13) "No One's Boy" by Marcy Playground

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 12

2011-04-07T13:17:00.004-04:00

SONG #12: "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack.

YEP. Cheating again. A little less this time, since this is faaar from my favorite Motion City Soundtrack song (though I still love it because, I mean...Motion City Soundtrack).

It's hard for a song to fit a mood better than Hello Helicopter fits Chase's 3rd summer. We're talking here about serious existential angst, but there's also the sense that you're sharing this angst with someone. This song is about "us," not "me."

And I think that's appropriate here, because Chase and Noah are, in every sense, with every pun intended, going down together.

The excerpt is from one of my favorite scenes. Noah's just home from, er, visiting Melinda, and he and Chase are standing on the deck, playing guitar, and trying to use her as a metaphor.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

Hello helicopter, have you heard the news?
No one gives a shit about the things they do
We all waste and consume, destroy and ruin everything we touch
It's easy not to think when you're not told that much

I'm not saying anything you haven't heard before
I'm just trying to understand the way we are

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

“And she talked about you,” he says.

“God, she always talks about you when I'm with her. Noah kisses me softer than that.”

“Chase is so much more passionate.”

“Noah takes his time.” I play a minor chord.

“Chase doesn't hesitate like you do.” Noah digs an almond out of the ice cream and tosses it off the balcony. “God. Why do we come back to this girl, Chase?”

--p. 180

PLAYLIST SO FAR:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery
12) "Hello Helicopter" by Motion City Soundtrack

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 11

2011-04-06T17:26:00.005-04:00

SONG #11: "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery.

This is another song I'm not incredibly fond of, but I never mind listening to it because it works so damn well. I know it originally because I heard it in that horrible movie Never Back Down, and I grabbed it because I heard the line about Cherry Valence.

It's one of the first songs that made it onto the playlist that wasn't direct inspiration for the story. We haven't gotten to any of those yet--those are songs 16, 18, and 20.

This is the first song of Chase's 3rd summer, and this is really a turning point in the book, I think, because the third summer is nothing like the other two. Chase has changed because his life has changed. He's not the idealistic, hopeful kid he used to be. In a lot of ways, he's turning into Noah.

He's a little cynical and a little sad and very much angry, but he's still Chase, which means he still keeps this close to him and regards it as some kind of personal failure, and he still holds onto his family harder than anything.

Time Won't Let Me Go is a song about growing up against your will, and about regret and disconnected. And that's kind of what's eating at Chase this summer. Coming back to the beach, this place was supposed to be his childhood forever, doesn't help. He doesn't want to think about college. He doesn't want to see Bella after two years without her. And he definitely doesn't want to hear Noah and Melinda.

But yeah, some things haven't changed so much. There's still Melinda. There's still Camus. And Noah.

In completely unrelated news...this is my 200th post on this blog, and I want to thank you guys so incredibly much for reading the blog, and following me on twitter, and most of all for reading the books, if you do. I don't think you know how much it means to me that you do. I don't think you could possibly know.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

I am so homesick now for
Someone that I never knew
I am so homesick now for
Someplace I will never be

Time won't let me go
Time won't let me go
If I could do it all again
I'd go back and change everything
But time won't let me go

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

Bella comes by Shannon's room to ask if a shirt is hers or his. She gives me a polite smile. “Hey, Chase. How've you been?”

“Fine. You?”

She nods.

Shannon says to me, “I have a college book you can borrow, if you want. I can show you around the common application, let you see how it's done.”

Down the hall, I hear Noah and Melinda, laughing.

“I should get going,” I say.

--p. 173

PLAYLIST SO FAR:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack
11) "Time Won't Let Me Go" by The Bravery.

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 10

2011-04-05T12:35:00.005-04:00

SONG #10: "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack.

Remember when I said I don't use Motion City Soundtrack, since I have some crazy obsession with them and know all their songs like they were born from my own brain? I lied! About the first part. Not the brain part. That part's real.

But! I don't use my favorites of their songs (um, #magicgayfish playlist notwithstanding, I guess) and I'm totally right when I say that they don't work as well as other songs. The temptation to rock out to them without listening to the words is totally there and totally a problem. I have to really concentrate if I'm going to think about the song the way I want to.

But! Eventually you get to that place with all the songs, once you've listened through the playlist a zillion times, so you're constantly in that weird interstitial space between trying to concentrate on the writing and reminding yourself waitwait this part is important.

So. The Worst Part. Back in our last song, if you recall, SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED. And after bad things happen, there tends to be aftermath. This is the last song of the second summer, which is appropriate because it is the 10th song on a 20 song playlist. Halfway through the book, halfway through the playlist. Convenient!

(We will finish going through the playlist on April 15th, therefore, meaning giveaways will start on the 16th and continue through the 19th, so be aware of that.)

And so. This song.

The most important thing to know about Invincible Summer is that it is a story about a family.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

All the same sad lives
All the love that disappears
We are aching bones
And wasted years

We have few regrets
Save it for every night alone
In the sinking ship
And haunted home

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

His arm whirlwinds, scattering sand everywhere. “Fuck this fuck this fuck this fuck—”

I can't take it anymore. I stand behind him and put my arms around his waist.

--p. 159

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray
10) "The Worst Part" by Motion City Soundtrack

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 9

2011-04-04T18:35:00.006-04:00

SONG #9: "City Hall" by The Fray.

So, full disclosure: I don't like this song very much.

I was a big fan of The Fray when I was in middle school, and I still like some of their songs, but this is not one of them. I'm not exactly sure how it ended up on my iTunes, but I assume I bought it at some point--unlike three of the songs later in the playlist, where I have literally no idea where they came from.

But when I'm making a playlist, the first thing I do is find songs with appropriate titles, then listen through 'em listening to see if the lyrics work.

"City Hall" was a title that immediately jumped out at me for this part of the story, because it's a deliberation scene of sorts. It's a very depressing meeting. The lyrics work, too, to an extent.

It's not a perfect song, and it's not at all my favorite moment in the playlist. And that's probably why I kept it.

This isn't supposed to be a comfortable point in the book. This is SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS, part A. If I liked it, something would be pretty wrong. And of the two SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS, this is the more uncomfortable, less pretty of the two. This is just messy and gross and unfun, and it's supposed to be.

But we have one of my favorite songs right after, so it makes up for itself, I think.

This is also the first passage I've used, so far, that has sign language, though it's just the one word. There's a fair amount of sign language in the book, as one of the characters is Deaf. I made the choice to go with ASL word order for the book, for two main reasons. 1. ASL has its own grammar, and this is correct, and 2. none of the characters in the book are fluent in ASL, least of all our narrator. A lot of it is pidgin signing, and a lot of the translations are way incomplete, as you can see below. There's a whole theme involving lack of communication through the book, so this plays into that.

I also think this is the first passage with Claudia, Chase's sister. And she's pretty badass.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

Decision on the dock head
Make up your mind and if you get consensus
Drop me a line

The city hall in my mind, got together last night
Rumors of reelection started to fly

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

“No,” Claudia says. “Just keep trying, okay? Don't give up, what the hell. This isn't like a do-it-yourself project gone wrong or . . . or a game of spider solitaire.” She signs spider.

--p. 153

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard
9) "City Hall" by The Fray

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 8

2011-04-03T14:05:00.004-04:00

SONG #8: "Slang" by Def Leppard.

So...to put it super plainly, this is the sexiest song I know.

It's filthy and dirty and really hot, both in the sexy sense and the sense that you are doing it stuck to leather seats in the back of someone's car, probably still wearing half of your bikini, no makeup, sweaty. Pretty is something you gave up several days and several sunburns earlier.

So we're at that part of the book.

If you've read any of the summaries of Invincible Summer, you'll know that Chase and his brother are sleeping with the same girl.

It's not what the book is about.

But it's there, and it goes something like this.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
Slang with me, I just wanna get soakin' wet
Slang with me, I don't wanna get my hands dirty
All I ever wanna get is slang

It's my intention to be your obsession
(Mi pasion, mi obsesion, queria que eastuvieras conmigo)
It's my obsession to be your addiction

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

God, maybe she knew I would tell him. Maybe she wanted us to fight over her like hungry animals. I want to tell her that I can tell when I'm being used, but this seems like a lofty statement when I don't think I've ever been used before.

--p. 145

PLAYLIST SO FAR:

1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris
8) "Slang" by Def Leppard

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 7

2011-04-02T18:35:00.005-04:00

SONG #7: "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris.

Another cover. I grew up with this song--it's one of my mom's favorites--and I remember the first time I heard this cover, and it blew my mind. It's a much younger, much more energetic, much more...well, summery version. And it remains, along with Rufus Wainwright's "Across the Universe," one of my favorite covers of all time.

This is the most recent song to make it onto the playlist. I tweak as I go along, but this song didn't come until this winter. So in a way it's kind of cheating, because it wasn't there when I wrote the book. But I can't believe that it wasn't.

It's a perfect 2nd summer song for Chase, when being infatuated with a girl is still exciting. Especially when she's unobtainable.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got that hair slicked back and those Wayfarers on, baby
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

Bella never made me feel this way. Bella was just lips. We're talking about whole bodies, now. We're talking about lungs.

--p. 97

PLAYLIST SO FAR:
1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright
7) "Boys of Summer" by The Ataris

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 6

2011-04-01T14:56:00.005-04:00

SONG #6: "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright.

One of my favorite covers. If you haven't heard it, it's really beautiful, and the video (featuring a baby Dakota Fanning!) is amazing as well. I absolutely love the original Beatles song (I have every Beatles song memorized, including the ones in German. Thanks Mom!) and the cover gives it a sunnier feel, which worked well for IS. It's a little more intense but at the same time more joyous. It's definitely a different feel from the original, but the song is strong enough to be able to withstand anything anyone does to it, I'm pretty sure. The version from the movie Across the Universe is also beautiful.

One of the reasons this version really worked for me is the passion and the level of insistence in it. "Nothing's gonna change my world" is an ambiguous statement--is it a peaceful statement, a refusal of something, or a regret?--and this version puts a lot of power behind that line. So I hear a refusal in it. I'm not going to allow anything to change my world. And that works very well for Chase.

The thing is that Chase's world isn't exactly normal, which is why I chose the passage I've chosen for this song.

I mentioned in the last post that there's a turning point here, and it's the shift to the romantic/sexual/whatever part of the book, when things get less simple for Chase. Except that lack of simplicity isn't just about the girl next door.

It's just a little thing. And this whole element is in little things. But it's worth confirming, I think.

Some reviewers have mentioned that there are weird moments between the siblings. That there are times that relationships seem uncomfortably intimate, and almost...incestuous. I picture them kind of whispering this, with a sad little glance my way, like, poor hannah didn't notice this.

So let's just say that yes, I noticed it, and that this isn't the kind of thing I would do accidentally. Full stop.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

Limitless undying love which
shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

We're quiet, lying in the sand, watching the stars, while Lucy crawls slow circles around us. I drop a few more notes.

I say, “Can I ask you something?”

She exhales. “Of course, Chase.”

“What's the deal with you and Noah?”

She laughs. “What's the deal with you and Noah?”

--p. 95

Playlist so far:

PLAYLIST SO FAR:
1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim
6) "Across the Universe" by Rufus Wainwright

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 5

2011-03-31T14:52:00.007-04:00

SONG #5: "New Soul" by Yael Naim.

I'm sure you all know and are sick to death of this song, since it was EVERYWHERE during the summer of 2009. But! I put it on the playlist like four seconds before it was everywhere. I so, so rarely discover any music before it hits big, so I have to brag about it when I can. (I'm looking at you, "How to Save a Life." I was like a year ahead on that one. Still pissed.)

So anyway, like four days before this song was on every commercial in the universe, I stuck it on IS's playlist as the first song of the 2nd summer. The initial reason was pretty basic: We have a new character this summer! As Mama McGill (this is not something she's actually called. I stole this from kids in high school who called my mom Mama Mosk) was super preggo in the last summer, I don't think this is a huge spoiler. Pregnant women have babies fyi.

So yes, on a basic level, this is about this kid experiencing everything for the first time. But it is really, like most of the songs on the playlist, about Chase and his experience in the 2nd summer versus that of the 1st summer. He's 15, almost 16 now. He's in a very different place. Because, you know, some fifteen-year-olds have sex fyi.

So this is a song about being a baby in a new world, literally and otherwise, and about feeling as if you're surrounded by people who are way more experienced than you are. This is also a dividing point in the playlist for me, not only because it's the new summer (because then it would have made more sense to have the dividing point before this song, rather than after) but because it's, in my mind, the end of a certain kind of tone.

This song is more first summer in rhythm and sound, which is how Chase goes in expecting his summer to be. It doesn't work out this way. The playlist changes after this and becomes very...focused on one thing, let's say. It changes again between songs 8 and 9, when SOMETHING BIG HAPPENS.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

I'm a young soul
In this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

This is a happy end
'Cause you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong?

CORRELATING PASSAGE:
I unlock the front door with my free side while Lucy clings to the other. “Welcome home, Lucy,” I whisper to her.

“Forget something?”

I turn around in the doorway, and there's the college dropout herself, holding Lucy's car seat, that smile on those perfectly glossed lips.

--p. 79

PLAYLIST SO FAR:
1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer
5) "New Soul" by Yael Naim

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 4

2011-03-30T23:26:00.011-04:00

SONG #4: "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer.

Okay, yes, John Mayer is a d-bag, but two points are important: 1. I wrote IS in 2009, when he was not quite so much of a d-bag and 2. it's still a good song.

The first time I heard Bigger Than My Body was when I was a kid watching Degrassi, back when they still played music videos in-between all the shows on The N. I hated most of them, so I always looked forward to "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera and Bigger Than My Body.

To me, Bigger Than My Body is a story about coming out of your skin. It's about being trapped, but with the tantalizing possibility, or promise, even, that you won't be trapped forever. There's the idea of escape.

It's a good song for Noah, my favorite character in Invincible Summer, especially during the first summer. While he comes across as overly cynical, there's a definite feel, at least to me, that he's cynical because being cynical is still a safe thing, because he doesn't truly believe it. He can bitch and moan and whine about how he's being pushed into a role he doesn't want to fill and nothing is in his control, but he still believes that he can rise above all the bullshit. He still sees himself outside of the context of the bullshit. He's a kid playing a cynic.

Also he looks kind of like a more funny-looking John Mayer in my head.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

Why is it not my time?
What is there more to learn?
Shed this skin I've been tripping in
Never to quite return

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

“Look. Listen to my words of wisdom. College's only role these days, for an upper-middle-class kid going in for a fucking liberal arts degree, is very simple. Do you know what that is?”

“A diploma. A good job. Yay.”

“No. College exists only because it thrives on the hopes and dreams of the young and innocent. College is a hungry zombie here to eat your brains. It wants to remind you that your naivete is impermanent and someday, English major or no, you'll wear a suit and hate the feeling of sand between your toes.”

--p. 53

PLAYLIST SO FAR:
1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream
4) "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 3

2011-03-29T13:32:00.004-04:00

SONG #3: "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream.

Yes! Before you can get riled up, yes, this is a cover!

This is a good time to mention that I am a HUGE fan of using covers in playlists. It's a great solution for songs that you're too familiar with but still want to use. Put a different band and a different tempo behind it, and you're forced to listen to the words in a way you ordinarily wouldn't. Plus, sometimes a cover has a more necessary vibe than an original.

But this doesn't mean that I don't know/love the originals. I promise that I am fully aware that every cover I use is a cover. The Cure yaaaay. I know what's up.

Also, how great is the name Gatsby's American Dream? For Real.

So. Just Like Heaven for me is a carnival and kissing song. This is possibly due to the scene in Adventureland. It's a song about first love.

And carnivals. Also there's a ton of ocean imagery.

How convenient.

This is the first example of a song directly influencing the book. This song is the reason this scene is set at a carnival. Later, the songs become way more blatant in their relationship to the plot. Yeah, I make songs do my work for me sometimes.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

There's no one else under the pavilion, and with the amusement park bouncing off Bella's eyes and the dusty pink of her skirt, I can almost pretend we are a hundred years old and we know everything. When, really, the only thing I know is that I'm going to kiss her, but I'm not going to try anything more. And she's smiling because she knows it too.

--p. 48

PLAYLIST SO FAR:
1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer
3) "Just Like Heaven" by Gatsby's American Dream

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 2

2011-03-28T20:15:00.009-04:00

SONG #2: "Island in the Sun" by Weezer.

A lot of the appeal of this song is the image that flashes in my head when I hear it. Though it was by no means the first time I heard the song, the most memorable time was at my very first concert, when I was fourteen.

The lights went off all of a sudden, and when they came up, Rivers Cuomo, Weezer's lead singer, was standing on a platform in the middle of the audience. He played this song alone, with one spotlight on him and his acoustic guitar. Around him, everyone was screaming, cheering, singing along, but Rivers was quiet the whole time. For him, it was him and his guitar.

It's one of the most peaceful songs I know, which made it ideal for following "Turn Up The Sun." Because the gritty grungy rock feel of "Turn Up The Sun" is the tone of the entire book, but Chase's first summer is notably more peaceful.

There's an idyllic feel to "Island in the Sun." This is a song without any obvious conflict, but there's a strange undercurrent of unease throughout the entire song. There's something there that isn't quite right.

It's a song about pretending things are okay. About standing in a platform in the middle of a crazy audience.

SAMPLE LYRIC:

On an island in the sun
We'll be playing and having fun
And it makes me feel so fine
I can't control my brain

We'll run away together
We'll spend some time forever
We'll never feel bad anymore

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

"You don't want your new sister to be born on the beach, do you?"

I look at Mom, practically bursting through her maternity swimsuit, chatting with Mr. and Mrs. Hathaway, sipping a Diet Coke. By the ocean, Shannon's holding Gid by his waist, twirling him around, and Claudia's crying, "He'll get dizzy! He'll get dizzy!"

I kind of can't think of a better place for her to be born than right here on the beach, but I know that's stupid. I know babies need hospitals, but right now I can't imagine anyone needing anything more than this.

Dad kisses the top of my head. "Where do you think Noah goes?"

"Anywhere. He sits in bookstores or sleeps on people's couches or something. He doesn't care where he goes. I get that part."

"You get that part?"

I nod, tracing my initials in the sand.

"Which part don't you get, Chase?"

I clear my throat. "Why he goes."

--p. 36

PLAYLIST SO FAR:
1) "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis
2) "Island in the Sun" by Weezer

INVINCIBLE SUMMER Playlist: Song 1

2011-03-28T01:19:00.003-04:00

SONG #1: "Turn Up The Sun" by Oasis.

The first song on my playlists has to set the mood. Which usually means that it needs a really great intro.

There are few songs with better intros than "Turn Up The Sun."

I started listening to Oasis when I was about fourteen, and this was the first song of theirs I knew. I heard about it on a music blog I used to read, and it said that there was one correct way and one correct way only to listen to this song.

The advice was:

--Wait for a sunny day.

--Find a door, preferably a set of sturdy double doors, that you can push through to get outside. Something like the front doors at a school or the lobby of a theater.

--Get it as dark as you can inside.

--Put your headphones in.

--Count 37 steps back from the doors. Stand there. Press play.

--Slowly walk forwards. One step per second.

--At 37 steps/37 seconds, push those doors open and step out into the sun.

I don't blame you if you don't actually do that. I didn't. I still haven't. But every time I listen to the beginning of this song, I feel like I'm doing it anyway. I feel the dark and then the doors thrown open and the sun beating down like an attack. I feel grungy and grimy and I taste like sunscreen.

It's that good.

SAMPLE LYRIC: Yeah it's not about the lyrics.

CORRELATING PASSAGE:

"Up."

I'm sticking to the sheets with sweat, and the smell of Noah's sandals attacks my face. It is so summer.

At home, we each get our own rooms, but here, Noah and I share, even though there are enough rooms for us each to have our own. Part of the feeling of summer depends on waking up when he wakes up, or putting on a shirt gritty with sand and sunscreen that might not even be mine.

--p. 14.

A Very Musical Countdown to INVINCIBLE SUMMER

2011-03-26T21:05:00.003-04:00

So.

A lot of people make playlists for their books. I am one of them!

I've been trying to figure out the best way to show you guys my INVINCIBLE SUMMER playlist, because I'm pretty damn proud of it, and because it was hugely, hugely important to the creation of the book, even more so than most of the playlists I make

So here's what's up. Tomorrow, I'm going to run a post on the first song on INVINCIBLE SUMMER's playlist, and I'll keep on doing that until I run out of songs.

Here's the thing.

Tomorrow, when I start these posts, there will be 23 days left until INVINCIBLE SUMMER comes out.

I am not sure how many songs are on this playlist, but I *think* it is either 20 or 21.

Which means! I am going to run out of songs to post before time runs out! What to do what to do OH I THINK I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I THINK ON EACH OF THOSE DAYS, I WILL HAVE A CONTEST.

!!!!!

And who even KNOWS what the prizes will be.

Will they be petite lap giraffes?

Will they be copies of INVINCIBLE SUMMER?

Will they be bushels of fresh fruit?

Will they be FIRE??

Will they be CDs of INVINCIBLE SUMMER's playlist?

Will they be some combination of two of the above suggestions??

REALLY IT'S ANYONE'S GUESS.

----------------

So here are my rules for making playlists. I'm not enforcing them on anyone else! I'm just listing them because this is my blog and I can say whatever I want la la la la la la la.

---MAKE IT BEFORE YOU START. You make the playlist during the plotting stage. You can alter it later, but this happens before you get started. This is how you get the story in the head. This is how you let it roll around and chew on you and all that good stuff stories do.

---DO IT IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER. I don't write outlines. I make playlists.

And it works. If I don't know what happens next, I check the playlist. If I'm listening to the middle of the playlist and I realize I have four songs in a row expressing the same thing...uh, maybe something needs to fucking happen at that point in the story. Time to check iTunes for possible plot points!

---NO FAVORITES. If you know me at all, you'll know I love Motion City Soundtrack more than any healthy person loves anything. Which means I've listened to all of their songs a zillion times. I know them backwards and forwards.

You can't use songs you know that well. You need songs that you still have to listen to. When I'm first making a playlist, I put in tons of songs I've downloaded but never listened to if they have titles that sound like they might possibly work. If they don't, it's pretty damn easy to delete it. But The Music Gods make it work surprisingly often.

On that note:

---USE THOSE SONGS THAT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN YOUR LIBRARY AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW. Those songs are there for a reason! It's fate!

---LISTEN TO IT WHENEVER. Sometimes I like to listen to music while I write. Sometimes I don't. Most of the playlist listening I do happens outside of actual writing time. It's the only music I'm allowed to listen to while I'm writing the first draft of the book.

You will get sick of it. You will hum the songs in your sleep. You will discover favorite bits of songs you don't even like all that much. You will discover that you actually hate songs that you thought you kind of liked.

WELCOME TO WRITING.

Just in song form.

I'll kick off with song #1 tomorrow.

Look what IIIIIIIII have....

2011-03-04T13:55:00.002-05:00

(click to enlarge)

Zombie Tag. My first MG. December 2011.

Ever since Wil Lowenstein's older brother Graham died a few months ago, Wil's spent most of his time fighting off imaginary zombies with spatulas in Zombie Tag, the Mafia/Capture the Flag hybrid he invented with his friends. What Wil doesn't tell anybody is that if he could bring his dead brother back as a zombie for real, he would. In a heartbeat.

So when Wil finds a way to bring back all the dead within five miles, he seizes the chance. But the Graham who comes back isn't the same. None of the returned are. At first they're just
emotionless, apathetic - lifeless. But then some of the zombies slowly start to get one emotion back - anger. And Wil is going to have to find a way to fix zombie-Graham and turn him back into the angsty teenager he's supposed to be before it's too late.

Because some of the zombies are banding together and plotting something. And Wil isn't sure his mom's spatulas are really going to do the trick if the zombies really do want to eat his brains.

:)

Oh, and if this sounds like your thing? You can add it here. Just sayin'.

AWESOME CONTEST OF AWESOMENESS

2011-02-17T20:19:00.003-05:00

Tadaaaa! I know you've been dying of anticipation.

Well HERE IT IS:

That's right. You can win ARCs of my book Invincible Summer! and Suzanne Young's book A Need So beautiful! And some other stuff too!!

The entry form is right HERE and it is without a doubt the easiest form in the world. Trust us. And that's all you have to do!

BUT if you want extra karma points, it's probably a good idea to add our books on goodreads--HERE and HERE.

Also you could tweet or blog about this because people will think you're cool for knowing about such an awesome contest. True story. Our contest will make you more popular.

Enter! Enter! Enter!

A Contest! A Contest of Awesome Proportions! An Awesome Contest of Awesomeness!

2011-02-11T19:27:00.004-05:00

Here is a teaser for the most amazing contest of your life, brought to you by the AMAZING Suzanne Young.

Check back next week.

And you might want to check Suz's blog too. It's possible I'm there. It's possible the link is right here.

COVER COVER COVER

2011-01-25T17:02:00.005-05:00

You can click on it to make it bigger. Also the tagline is obviously a placeholder. My editor is funny.

And here's some bullshit blurb that I wrote to give you some idea of what it's about:

Craig, for the first time in nearly a year, wakes up in Silver Spring, Maryland on October 2nd, 2002 to a house devoid of chirping, barking, and mewing. Between twilight and daylight, somehow his entire menagerie escaped. All the animals that he'd collected since his old boyfriend was dragged away to the psych ward. Gone.

Lio, the post-cancer kid transfer student from New York City, doesn't like to talk. But he does like Craig. His new therapist says he's "a little fucked up." Craig just says, if he has the time, could he help him put up posters?

At 5:20 PM, when their stack of posters is about halfway out and Lio surprises Craig with a kiss, the sniper shootings begin.

Ten people died in the D.C. sniper shootings. This is the story of two of the boys who didn't.

--

I love this cover. Do you love this cover? Do you hate this cover? TELL ME TELL ME NOW.

Sparkly!Fairy!Prostitute!

2011-01-25T12:39:00.006-05:00

Time for a teaser!

--

“So,” Josha said, his feet up on the railing of Beckan's balcony, his ass on the porch swing. They were watching the tightropers continue stringing their lines, and watching the fairies on the streets rushing around with their heads covered, like they were expecting rain. A news report blared from inside, where Beckan had left her father in front of the TV.

She knew what Josha was going to say, but she gave him nothing. She almost always knew what Josha was going to say. She loved him very much but had long ago given up hope.

“So,” Josha said. “Scrap?”

“He's teaching me to read.”

“How charitable.”

“Not really. Selfish. He wants someone to read his stupid stories. He's desperate.”

“Cricket won't read them?”

“Who?”

“His cousin,” Josha said. “They live together."

“I didn't know his name.” She had only seen him a few times. He was usually walking from room to room, usually with headphones jammed over his ears.

Josha said, “So you're really not crazy about him.”

“Scrap?”

“Either.”

“I told you.”

“Since you don't know his family or anything. Don't know anything about him.” He gave her a sloppy grin. “After all, you know me. So.”

She watched the trightropers instead of responding. Josha said “Cricket” quietly to himself a few times. “Must be a genius if he avoids the stories,” he mused.

“Cold-hearted genius, maybe.”

“A genius is a genius. I don't need another heart, anyway.”

Then the first bombs went off, and they sprang towards each other as if they had previously been stretched apart. Beckan felt some heat on her cheek, like the city was breathing on her, but she couldn't see where the bomb fell or detect any damage. From the porch of Beckan's house, at the bottom of the hill, it was hard to see much of anything.

We Need You

2011-01-21T17:11:00.003-05:00

(Aaaaaaaand we're back. Hey.)

This is a post I've had in my head to write for a long time. It comes from a few questions I've heard asked, to me and to others, ever since I've been involved in the YA community, and moreso after BREAK sold.

1) Why aren't you using a penname? (related: You'd sell better if you didn't have a girl's name on your cover. also related, but not a question, and even more infuriating: your name is too Jewish to be on a book cover!)

2) Why are there so many books about white people?

3) Why are there so many Mormon YA writers? (related, also not a question: Stephanie Meyer waaaah waaaaah)

And, the big question, the one that, in its way, sums up all of the above and so, so much more:

4) Why aren't there more characters like me?

It sounds like a selfish question, I guess.

But...why aren't there?

The truth is, this post was hard to write because it is also a post about halfie-guilt. I'm a half-Jewish and half non-practicing Christian. Since religion wasn't important on my Christian half, I was raised largely, if mildly, Jewish, celebrating those holidays along with a nonreligious Christmas (and sometimes some candy on Easter).

I know the Hanukkah and the Passover blessings and all of that, but I don't speak Hebrew and I didn't have a Bat Mitzvah. But when I tried to get involved in Jewish life in college, neither of these things was a problem for me. The thing that was?

That big clunky Jewish last name means that the half of me that is Jewish is not my mother's half. And that is, according to (all but Reform) Jewish law, the half that matters.

I have not reconciled this yet. It's still something that I think about a lot and struggle with. I've heard a lot of people say that whenever they see half-anything characters in books, that their issues with their halfiness are way overwrought.

I need more half-whatevers. So I wrote a book about them. I'm working (and by working, I mean, desperately trying to avoid working) on an MG right now that features a half-Italian, half-Japanese main character who has issues with both communities since he looks more Japanese but speaks Italian. And he's dragging around the clunky last name, too, his Japanese, that doesn't make the other side of his family too happy.

He's not spending the whole book freaking out about it or anything, but it's there and it's an issue and it's important.

Wil, my main character in Zombie Tag, is Jewish. You would only know by his last name and by the fact that he mentions his Bar Mitzvah and his synagogue, in passing. Lio in Gone, Gone, Gone, is Jewish, and I can't remember when it comes up, if ever. I can't even remember his last name. I think he might not have one.

The point is, I throw Jewish characters in without consideration, and without there being a reason for them. It's important to me that there be Jewish characters, the same way it's important to me that I have gay characters and black characters represented in my books as well.

But I'm not fully Jewish, and I'm not gay, and I'm not black, so why were these things easier for me to write about than a true halfie?

Why aren't we writing characters like us?

Regardless of reasons, there are a lot of YA Mormon writers. So...why aren't we seeing more Mormon MCs?

Why are all of our main characters so pretty?

Why are we still writing books that take place in predominately white, predominately straight worlds, without ever noticing that that isn't the way most of the world works anymore? A gentrified neighborhood should stick out. It should warrant at least a passing reference in the book. It shouldn't be the assumption.

Why are so many books with black characters and gay characters still ABOUT being black and being gay, when we have wonderful writers who fit one or both of those descriptions who are living lives that are not defined by either of those?

I'm not saying we don't need books about struggling with identity. I wrote one about a halfie who is, after all, because that was a book I needed.

I'm just wondering why there aren't more characters like you.

End of The Year

2010-12-31T06:10:00.003-05:00

I swear a real post will come at some point, but I needed something easy right now, so here is an end-of-the-year survey. I did it last year as well.

This is mostly real-life-hannah, if you're curious about her, but there's a lot of writing in here as well.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

Wrote a fantasy manuscript--three of them, in fact. Took control of my health. Was single for the first time since I was 15, which *felt* like something I'd never done before. Wrote and sold two MG books. Wrote 4 books in a year, which I think is a record for me. Made new friends, which honestly feels like a new thing.

But all in all, not enough.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I kept almost all of them, actually, and I have already made mine for 2011. Largely writing-related.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes.

5. What countries did you visit?

I visited absolutely no countries, but I did go to the West Coast for the first time, and I'm leaving for Spain in a few days.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010.

A new book on the shelves, obviously.

A new person.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I honestly can't think of a single one.

Pathetic.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Selling Zombie Tag and the other MG. And, honestly? Writing my magic gay fish book.

9. What was your biggest failure?

My answer is the same as last year's: College, college, college.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

The first one. Same old shit, really.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Well, I paid to get my industrial piercing back, and I think that was the most exciting.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Every single goddamn muser's.

And my mother's.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Clothes and food. Thank God I get most of my books for free.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Disney World. SCBWI. Christmas, like always, because I'm five. And when I knew the book deal for Zombie Tag was coming but it still took a few more days to actually get it...that was torture.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

When I Was a Boy by Dar Williams

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
Happier?

no

Richer?

yes

Thinner?

yes

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Reading. Last year, I said my goal was 50 books in 2010. I clocked in at 28. Guh.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Freaking the fuck out.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I quote myself from last year: "Christmas is done, saun." I had an amazing Christmas at home with my family. We watched movies and made whoopie pies and played board games.

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?

I did not.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Queer as Folk is still my favorite, but How I Met Your Mother emerged as a new contender. I love, love, love sitcoms.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I wish my answer were the same as last year's. "Nah, I don't have time for that shit."

It will be soon.

26. What was the best book you read?

There are a few that need mentioning.

REAL LIVE BOYFRIENDS by E. Lockhart
WHEN YOU REACH ME by Rebecca Stead
THE DISREPUTABLE HISTORY OF FRANKIE LANDAU-BANKS by E. Lockhart (um, I love her.)
BEAUTIFUL by Amy Reed
THE DEATHDAY LETTER by Shaun David Hutchinson
HER AND ME AND YOU by Lauren Strasnick

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Dar Williams

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

How to Train Your Dragon

31. What did you do on your birthday. And how old were you?

Nineteen. I remember my roommate put play-doh on every stair down from my room. And I honestly don't remember much else. I'm old. I got mocked on twitter for being old, I remember that.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I honestly don't know. Maybe knowing would have made it more satisfying.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Scrubby, in general, but I started wearing a lot of jewelry.

34. What kept you sane?

The Musers. Same answer as last year. But also my mother.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Is Noel from the Ruby Oliver books a public figure? Let's say yes.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

DADT

37. Whom did you miss?

I miss high school. And I sometimes miss who we used to be.

Hiatus

2010-12-07T13:20:00.002-05:00

In case you hadn't noticed, this blog has been, and will continue to be on, for at least another week, a little hiatus while I get my life together.

In the meantime, you should read my letter to my 15 year old self here.

See you guys later!

Picking Off Right Where We Left Off

2010-11-16T04:28:00.003-05:00

The excerpt two posts down is the first chapter of my NaNoWriMo project. Here's the beginning of chapter 2. Because I like how the bits fit together.

--

A few months ago, Micah started fucking my boyfriend. I'm secretary of the student government, and that plus lacrosse team meant I only had time for a date with Jackson once or twice a month. Meanwhile, we're turning eighteen in three weeks and Micah was still a virgin, so I figured pairing him and Jackson up was such a charitable act that I could practically put it on my resume.

It's worked out well. Micah's had a crush on Jackson for years, so he's as close as he ever gets to happy. And Jackson puts up with him, which is as close as anyone's ever come to liking him. He's known Micah and I since we were kids, so he knows enough about CIPA that nothing surprises him anymore, but it's still not his reality, so he can still laugh when Micah's watch timer tells him to use the bathroom and think of my brother, at least some of the time, as a superhero. To Micah and me, it's all just bullshit routine. So it's good that he has Jackson to be amazed.

And I'm not threatened. I know Jackson likes me more, and Micah would never, ever let himself love anyone.

It's the first Friday of the month, which is one of Micah's days with Jackson, but he comes up to me after school and says he's foisting Jack off on me tonight.

I haul my backpack out of my locker. “I thought you finished Hudson's paper.” It's a very easy paper, but most everything is now. We're in the same class as the fourteen-year-olds. Younger than that, there are hordes of them, but there just aren't that many kids our age left, and we all have this skinny desperate look of survived prisoners. The little kids only know the plague as the newest pages in their history books.

He says, “It took me five minutes.”

“Took me nine. I must be off my game.”

“I fell.”

I look at him.

He shrugs his backpack strap up his arm.“Before Science.”

“How'd you fall?”

“Tripped.”

“Someone tripped you?” I'll fucking kill them.

“Tripped on my shoelace, Gwen, Jesus Christ. Ask Jackson, he was there.”

“He saw you fall?”

Micah says, “He said the fall was uncanny. That was the word he used. Uncanny.”

“That's not a good word.”

“Not for a fall, yeah.”

I reach out and touch his arm, and he lets me for maybe a second before he rolls his shoulders back to squirm away. He always does that—waits just long enough to flinch away that he can deny it was a flinch. It was just a shift in weight. A trick of the light. Something. It's never made sense to me. Touch is the only thing he can feel, and he does, as acutely as anyone else. And he squirms away from it. I guess that's Micah in a nutshell.

He clears his throat and says, “So I'm going to go to the hospital after school, I guess, just to make sure.”

I should probably offer to go with him. But I don't go back to the hospital, ever. When I need shots or antibiotics, I go to the adult hospital, even though it's two buses and half an hour. I don't think Micah's ever gone, even though he hardly needs this fall as an excuse to visit the children's hospital; he's there ever week, convinced he's dislocated a joint or contracted meningitis. Our uncle's mansion is next door. There's no reason for Micah not to know, every second, that he's safe. It's an addiction he never tries to fight. And I'm not going to be the one to encourage him to fight.

“Be safe,” I tell him.

“Yeah. Look, I got to go.” He backs away for a few steps, then turns around walks out of the school. I guess I should be happy. That's the longest conversation we've had in weeks. Really, fucking the same guy is the closest we come to communicating.

Promises

2010-11-14T15:50:00.004-05:00

NOTE: This post contains possibly incorrect spoilers of the following, many of which I know nothing about:

--Queer as Folk (US TV series)
--Harry Potter (the whole series
--Lord of the Rings (okay and I've only seen the movies but I'm pretty sure either format works for the example I'm using)
--Twilight series (which I have not read, but know enough about to perhaps erroneously cite)
--The Boyfriend List series by E. Lockhart (only very minor spoilers)
--The Great Gatsby (also minor)
--The Stranger (ditto)

You have been warned.

--

One thing I rarely talk about on this blog is--aside from my cries in the night for more strong male characters--what I like to see in stories, and how I try to write my stories. But when my dear friend Scott Tracey suggested I blog about Queer as Folk, I realized that the show (which is possibly my favorite show ever) highlights a lot of elements that can make or break a story, in my mind.

And they're all about promises you make your reader.

One True Pairing. This is a concept rooted, I think, in fanfic. (which, TANGENT: I adore almost as much as Queer as Folk, and even more if the two are combined. Some writers get all up in arms--and, in my opinion, up in their own egos--about it. Use a pseudo, don't try to make money, and write on, bitches.)

The concept of One True Pairing is that there is a couple you are rooting through throughout the entire book--or, commonly, throughout the entire series. This doesn't mean the couple is always obvious, or together through the entire work. There are bumps. There should be bumps.

But they should end up together.

I know a lot of people are going to protest this. They're going to talk about how books should resemble the real world, and the real world isn't always fair, and couples break up all the time regardless of how much they love each other, and it isn't fair to promote some kind of fantasy in our books, blah blah blah.

To which I say: bullshit.

I am 100% pro happy endings--see the next heading! But I don't think my definition of a happy ending is the same as other people's. Most of my stories have an ending that is bittersweet, but goddamn it, the couple stays together.

This togetherness doesn't have to be very overt, even. In Queer as Folk, Brian and Justin are set up from episode 1 as the One True Pairing. For the entire first season, they're not officially a couple. They go episodes at a time without seeing much of each other. Brian doesn't even like Justin that much, despite bringing him home in the first ten minutes of the first episode.

By season 2, they're as official as they ever really get. Neither of them is into monogamy or serious relationships, at least not for a while, so they are happy and very much, even though Brian would never admit it, in love. They break up twice over the series, and it's painful to watch, even though you know they will get back together.

And they do. You know why? Because the whole fucking thing would suck if they didn't. A book I really love broke this rule, and it was absolutely crushing. They spent the whole book trying to get together, then together and deliriously happy, and then they broke up in the last 5 pages. It was so sad, and the book lost so many points with me for that.

I want payoff. I want hope. I want promises fulfilled, and the biggest promise a lot of books give you is that One True Pairing. Your readers are trusting you.

Queer as Folk ends with Brian and Justin calling off their engagement (more on that later) and separating when Justin moves to New York for a while to work on his art. For me, this ending was not open. I was a hundred percent satisfied. They're still together, they're just living in different cities for a while. A lot of people didn't agree with me. There are huge sections of the fan base convinced that they ended the series broken up.

To which I say, again, bullshit! And recently, someone did an interview with the two creators of the show, one of which said, "I have no idea why people think they broke up."

So HA. One True Pairings win again. And I never had any doubt, because I trusted the creators the way I trust authors. I trust the good guys to win and the right people to make out. You never REALLY think Bella's going to end up with Jacob. If you're paying any attention at all, you never REALLY think Harry's going to end up married to Hermione.

And, to extrapolate a little on this point--

Give me a goddamn happy ending.

I get it, realism realism blah blah blah. But to quote Seinfeld, "If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life."

Your book has a goal. Achieve it. The ring gets destroyed, guys. Voldemort doesn't win. Even if Harry had died, which many people think he should have (holla) it would have been a happy ending because evil would not have triumphed. Guys. Evil can't fucking triumph. Come on now.

I'm crazy about books that make me think about life and the universe and the world at large. And I don't even everything to work out peachy keen. Think The Great Gatsby. Think The Stranger. Those are some of my favorite books, and both of them have someone kicking it at the end.

But there is hope. There is spirit. Evil isn't winning.

No evil winning. Your characters don't have to be making out in the sunset, but they have to at least be holding hands in the wreckage.

You're fulfilling a promise you're giving the reader. Don't be that asshole who's trying to teach the reader there are no promises in real life. You're like the Grinch right now.

The last few lines in the entire Queer as Folk series:

So the thumpa thumpa continues. It always will. No matter what happens. No matter who is president. As our lady of Disco, the divine Ms Gloria Gaynor has sung to us: We will survive.

Excuse me while I wipe my eyes a little.

But before we get all sappy, we have one more promise you make your reader, and it's one that Queer as Folk very badly fucks up.

Character consistency. On a larger scale, this is valid more in a series than in a stand alone, though it's valid as hell either way.

When you introduce a character with a certain set of traits and abilities, you make a promise to your reader. And that promise is--if this character is changing from this thing I've set up from you, you will know.

By all means, your characters should develop and morph throughout the story. But the reader needs to see it happening. They need to understand why and how, or they're going to feel like they're looking at a different character at the end of the work than they were at the beginning. And that's not good.

E. Lockhart's The Boyfriend List series does a fantastic job of this. Roo is Roo, through all of them. Yes, you can see her growing and maturing and learning new skills to cope with her ridiculous life, but she is still very consistently Roo.

Now. Queer as Folk.

In case you missed it in the OTP heading, Brian fucking proposes.

What the fuck is that shit? We get that they love each other. We know. We've got it. We don't need to hear Brian say it, or see him fucking plan a wedding. It completely destroys the image we have of who Brian and Justin are. If they'd both just started quietly wearing wedding rings, that would have been one thing. But the last season of Queer as Folk turned Brian into some kind of domesticated animal, and a looooot of people are unhappy about it. He sent out fucking wedding announcements. He bought a house. What is this shit? This is not the Brian we were promised.

So if you want the reader to follow through with reading your whole book, you have some things you need to do to deserve that. Or to make sure, if they do finish it, that they don't end up throwing it at a wall.

There are of course a million ways to do all the things I've mentioned and still write a wall-throwing-worthy book. And there are ways to ignore everything I've said (except maybe the consistent character one...but you never know) and write something phenomenal. And in all honesty, if you're writing something you want analyzed in English class, you're probably going to need a less happy ending.

But, looking back, there are very few endings I've read that I've read that I would consider altogether too depressing. The only ones that I think really fit the bill are ones where the One True Pairing fails.

So guys. Less realism, more making out. End scene.

NaNo excerpt

2010-11-09T02:39:00.004-05:00

It's long. Read as much or as little as you like.

This is the first chapter of my NaNo, which is called PLAGUE BABIES for the time being.

--

We were six years old, and it was the hottest day of the year. My mother had all her hair pulled back, except for her frizzy bangs that bowed over her forehead like a spiderweb. I was at the window, looking down at the bare streets.

Micah said, “You're going to hurt him,” which was what he always said.

I turned around and watched Roo slip his hand into Micah's. Their hands were small and identical. Like a china doll holding itself. But Roo's fingers had tiny scars radiating out from all of his knuckles, and Micah had a band-aid wrapped around his pinky, from where he burned it badly the other day. He didn't know the stove was on.

I was pristine.

“She's not going to hurt me.” Roo said. His real name was Reuben, but we always called him Roo, because he was a little kid. I don't know what we would call him now.

Our mother finished rinsing the cookie sheet and brought it to Roo in the reclining chair. He lifted his leg up and lay it across the sheet, and she used sleeves from two of his dirty shirts to tie his ankle and thigh to either end.

“How many lollipops?” Roo asked.

“Four,” Mom said.

Roo looked at his leg while Mom rifled through the kitchen drawer. “Five,” he called.

“Fine. Fine. Five.”

“I want to sit with Roo,” I said. It was the best chair.“It's my turn.”

“You don't get a turn.” Mom came with the hammer, licking her dry lips. “It's Micah's turn, really.” She looked at him.

Micah had to let go of Roo's hand to shrink back as much as he wanted to. So he did.

Roo said, “You can go, Micah. You want a lollipop?”

He shook his head.

“Green ones,” Roo said.

“What if it hurts?” Micah said. Micah talked more about pain than any little kid in the world. Definitely more than any little kid who had never felt pain, and never would.

I was supposed to protect them. I hated Micah's bandaged fingertip.

“Do me this time,” I said.

Mom said, “Gwen, I've told you,” in her warning voice, so I backed off. I like to think that I didn't really understand what was happening.

My mother knelt by the recliner and tested the bonds on Roo's leg. “Ready?” she asked him.

“Swear five lollipops?”

“I swear,” she said, and she gave Roo's knee two solid cracks with the hammer. His knee bent back limply against the cookie sheet, and his bones tinkled like a wind chime.

I winced. Roo leaned over to look at his leg. “Did you break it?” he said.

“I think so.” Mom pushed her bangs off her sweaty forehead and untied my brother. “Get up and try to walk.”

Roo climbed out of the chair and took half a step before his leg creaked and he fell over. He laughed.

“Let's go,” Mom said. She picked up Roo and nodded for Micah and I to follow. On the way out the door, she splashed Roo with some cold water from the sink, and I splashed Micah. It was the only way to keep them cool. I was already sticky underneath my arms and behind my unbruised knees.

Our apartment building was full of open doors and empty spaces where the looters had already been. Our best friend Carly used to live in the apartment on the ground floor, but she'd died a few weeks ago, at the hospital. Roo had cried so hard he had a stuffy nose all day.

The regular hospital was across town, big and silver with state of the art equipment and doctors with foreign last names. The children's hospital was two blocks from home. Small. Quaint. Little murals on the walls. Even before Mom thought of breaking Roo's bones, we were there all the time, when one of the boys took an awkward fall or started running a fevers, and they'd get MRIs and blood tests and two doctors and three nurses pressing on all their joints and junctions and lymph nodes, feeling for something out of place.

Back then, the hospital was full and loud. Nurses in masks rushed back and forth between children screaming and coughing in beds. They shouted names of medicines and doctors that they wanted. Now I wonder what the hell they thought they were doing, since they never figured out how to fix anyone.

I'm not sure why Micah and I never got sick. Good luck. Not good genes.

At the hospital, Mom got attention, a cast for Roo, and her dose of whatever medicine they thought was working this week. She got a sterile pat on the back from Dr. Jacoby, who told her, again, how impressed he was with my mother, what a good job she was doing, how she shouldn't feel bad. How he couldn't imagine trying to raise one child with CIPA, let alone two. Before we knew anything was wrong with Micah and Roo, everyone used to tell Mom how they couldn't imagine trying to raise triplets. After their bloody lips and dry eyes and high fevers had an explanation, I was suddenly easy.

I've always hated the hospital.

When we got home, Roo toddled around on his cast, his smiling mouth stained green, four more lolipops clutched in his fat fist. He held one out to Micah, who shook his head.

“You should go next time,” Roo said.

Micah shook his head.

“Why are you so scared all the time?” Roo asked.

“What if it hurts?”

“Hurting isn't even that bad,” Roo said. “Gwen does it all the time.”

Two days later, Roo woke me up in the middle of the night and said he was dizzy. I knew he had a fever, but when I went to wake up Mom, she was in the bathroom, throwing up blood.

I wasn't very scared. It wasn't anything very new.

I lay down with Roo in his bed and held him. He was as hot and dry as a gun.

He started crying, but he couldn't make tears. He coughed blood onto my pillow and shook. He'd probably been sick for days, but he couldn't have known. The main symptom of the plague, after all, was pain. They couldn't know. Micah's organs could have been turning to soup in the bunk below of us, and he would have no idea. But they weren't.

Just Roo's.

“It'll be okay tomorrow,” I whispered to him. I kissed him. I liked playing mom, sometimes.

Anyway, he was dead by morning. He went quickly, unlike Mom, who didn't die until a few weeks later. Everything happened very close together. They died, and somewhere in there Micah and I were whisked away and pushed into our uncle's house. I don't remember Micah saying anything the whole time. Even our ultrasound pictures, Micah and Roo didn't hug. It was like the second the egg split, they happily scooted apart, or wedged me between.

I don't know that I've stopped watching Micah since the night Roo died.

Somewhere in there the plague ended. Roo and Mom were some of the last ones, and Micah and I, now our rich uncle's children, were two of the first on the exam table in the now near-empty hospital, rolling up our sleeves for the vaccination hardly anyone else could afford.

Micah cried, writhed, begged, curled up inside his shirt. “It'll hurt,” he sobbed. “It'll hurt. What if it hurts this time?”

“It won't,” I whispered to him, while the doctors crossed their arms and didn't want to wait.

“What if it does? This could be the time.”

“It's just a shot. It doesn't hurt much at all.”

It didn't. It didn't hurt enough. They gave me my shot, and I barely felt it, and Micah still squirmed away from the needles, still pleaded and hid behind my shoulder.

“Give it to me,” I said. “Give me his.”

“It doesn't work that way,” the doctor told me.

“Why not? Give it to me again. It didn't hurt enough.”

Eventually, Micah got his shot. We were marked on a list, checked off as safe, sent back to our uncle's house. On our way out the door, I saw Micah's reflection against a wall, and I jumped.

Not my reflection, just his, and I didn't know why. I knew it was the first time I thought about the implications of having just one identical twin around. That was the first of a million reflections that would always make me wonder, maybe, maybe, maybe...

A lot has changed since then. We're no longer afraid of our uncle's creaky mansion. I've stopped wondering if I maybe saw Roo that day, or if I see him every time I catch Micah in the bathroom mirror or in a shop window. I've stopped listening when someone mentions that they were at the children's hospital the other night and they heard screaming of children they couldn't find. I've stopped believing the whispered word haunted means anything more than two triplets who still have nightmares.

The plague is gone. Micah doesn't cry, and we don't talk. Now both of us act like he's made of glass.

Two things have stuck around: my hunger to feel absolutely everything, and Micah's desperate, pathological need to feel nothing.

Things Not To Worry About

2010-11-05T19:35:00.005-04:00

There's a lot of stress in this life. There are a lot of reasons to freak out. There are a few things that, pretty much without exception, suck. Full rejections suck. Bad sales suck. Bad dialogue sucks. There are things you can fix and there are things you just need to let push past and let go.

There are also things that you should not be worried about.

--People leaving publishing. I know that with Nathan Bransford's recent announcement, some of you are probably left feeling a little stunned. I am too! And remember how surprised we were when Colleen Lindsay told us she was going to stop agenting? And my second, incredible agent, Brendan Deneen, left to pursue a job as an editor (and is doing a fantastic job!) after we were together for just six months. (But glorious months they were, Brendan.)

It's jarring. It makes you afraid that someone's going to leave you in the middle of the process. It makes you wonder if publishing is going to shit.

Here's why you shouldn't worry. New agents are appearing all the damn time. My amazing agent, Suzie Townsend, has been in the game for just a little over a year, and she's made amazing sales since then (and seriously, if you don't know her name by now, you've got your fingers shoved in your ears). And she's not the only amazing agent we've gained this year. How about Mandy Hubbard or Taylor Martindale or Weronika Janczuk?

And there are still tons and tons of agents who have been at this for years and are showing no signs of stopping. And so what if they do? Just like there will always be new writers, there will always be new agents. Don't worry. Publishing might be changing, but it isn't going anywhere.

On that note...

--Paper books are dead, self-publishing is taking over, and it's the apocalypse. It's very easy to get sucked in to all the talk about how publishing is an outdated, dying model, and that if you have children in the next five years, they're never going to know what a book is. And they probably won't know how to write in cursive. Or how to read. Also books will be animated, Amazon will rule the world, and gay immigrants will start making out in our public schools.

Here's why you shouldn't worry. With the exception of that last one (which I am entrusting all you magic gay fish to ENSURE HAPPENS), none of this has to be your concern. Let someone else worry about all this shit. Shut up and write a book. They're not going anywhere.

--Celebrity books. They sell for huge advances. They're written by ghostwriters. They're not very good. They're cliche and pandering to an illiterate audience, so and so forth.

Here's why you shouldn't worry. Celebrity books sell for huge advances because they make huge amounts of money. Tuck away the jealousy and realize what this does for a publisher.

The more money they can make on sure things, the greater their ability to take a risk on new, unknown writers. In all likelihood, this means you!

Be proud of your publisher/a publisher you like when they buy a celebrity book. They're being fiscally responsible! It doesn't mean that the people there don't recognize good books. Trust me. They do. And if you don't like the celeb book, don't read.

--Twilight. It makes a lot of money, its merchandise fills the YA section, there are a million knock-offs of it, Edward is a pedophile, glitter sticks to your clothes.

Here's why you shouldn't worry. God, guys, this shit is old. No one cares anymore. We're the only ones talking about it. Move on.

--You get a small advance. So you're hearing about all these six figure advances, and even though you're freaking ECSTATIC that your book sold, you can't help but be a little disappointed by your three figure (for a small publisher), four figure or low five figure advance. You can't quit any day job for this kind of money.

You didn't have any delusions about writing making you rich, but you had a little inkling of a dream that maybe it would. And that's understandable.

Here's why you shouldn't worry. For a first book, a small advance can be a blessing. They're easier to earn out, and earning out gets you major props with your publisher, and they'll be more willing to take risks with you in the future. All that stuff about how hard it is to get off the midlist is scary, I won't lie to you, but it isn't a death sentence. You can always try out different age groups and genres, or you can win a bitchin' award, or you can chug away happily with your small advances and keep producing and producing and building a fan base. Your life is not over.

Hello, I'm Hannah Moskowitz, and I am midlist. And my life fucking rocks. So don't worry about it.

--Bad reviews. Son of a fucking bitch, it's not even that it's bad, it's that it's like they didn't even read the goddamn book. They spelled your characters' names wrong. They mixed up major plot points. They said they didn't get your main character's motivations, when nobody else had that problem. What the hell?

Or maybe it's a professional review, and they checked all their spellings and their plot points twice, but the guy who wrote the review must have been on his period or something, because he ignored all the best parts of the book and only focused on its faults.

Or maybe your book isn't out, or your book hasn't sold, but the idea of a bad review has you quaking in your shiny sexy writer boots.

Here's why you shouldn't worry. Yeah, they sting a little. But every book gets them, and everyone knows that. Go look up your favorite book on goodreads. There are people who hated it.

Then go look up books you hated, read the bad reviews, and laugh quietly to yourself. It happens. Learn to shrug it off and laugh at yourself. Don't respond, don't let it affect your writing, and, if you can--learn from them.

After a lot of reviewers commented on Break's weak ending, I started putting a lot more consideration into how I end my books. I hope it shows. And if it doesn't, well, fuck it. I can laugh it off. And then I can creepily go stalk books you liked more than mine and read all their bad reviews. It's a cycle!

Getting Your NaNo On

2010-10-25T16:57:00.002-04:00

So! National Novel Writing Month is coming up. I'm sure most of you know the gist already: 30 days, 1 book, 50,000 words. Details are here, and if you decide you're interested, you should hurry up and sign up! We're starting in 5 days!

This will be my 3rd year doing NaNo. For me, the challenge isn't writing quickly; it's getting a 50,000 word first draft. This is really, really long for me. A lot of my finished books clock it at around 50,000, and my first drafts are usually significantly shorter, somewhere in the 25-30,000 range. So even though people assume NaNo is easy for me because I'm a fast writer, it's actually a significant challenge for me as well. I won in both 2008 and 2009 (though in 2009 I cheated by adding 50K to an existing project. shhhh. But 2008 was legit).

If you're interested in NaNo but nervous about the idea of 50K in 30 days, here are some tips that you can take or leave as they suit you.

--Take a risk. I like to do something weird for NaNo. My planned project for this year is a ghost story, and hopefully (hopefully!) the first of a trilogy I have mapped out.

This is so astronomically far from anything I've ever done, but the good news is, I can't give up. I am absolutely positive that I'm going to start panicking and trying to jump ship 10,000 words in. And any other time, I probably would. But not for NaNo. For NaNo, you have to keep going. Or you LOSE. I don't like losing.

--Nail down the beginning. Choose your first line NOW. You don't want to be staring at a blank page. You can change it later, whatever, but give yourself a springboard. I have my first chapter all written up in my head. Then God knows what happens.

--Don't pace yourself. It doesn't work that way, at least not for me. Start strong. Write as many words a day as you can. Aim for 5K a day. Power through for as long as you can.

There will come a day where this gets absolutely impossible. You'll be lucky to get 1K out. And that's okay. Because you have a few days of writing 5K behind you, and you're already ahead of the game.

It will get harder to write as you get to the middle of your book. You will start doubting yourself and pulling out your hair, and the lack of sleep will catch up with you. Keep pushing as hard as you can, but give yourself permission to have some days when you're barely trickling out words. It happens. But don't try to slow down the part where you're buzzing and exciting because your book is shiny and new in hopes of saving your energy for later. It doesn't work.

--Get a support group. Physical ones work really well for some people; ask around and see if there are meetups in your area. You might be surprised!

If you're a hermit like me, there's always, thank God, the internet. You can find friends on the NaNo forums, or you can bully some of your existing friends into participating with you.

It's very, very helpful to have people to bitch to. If the Musers didn't do NaNo, I can't imagine I would. Most of the fun of this month comes from suffering together. It breaks up the loneliness we all feel sometimes, when it's just us and our laptops and our boyfriends complaining they never see us.

--Welcome help. Once you sign up, you'll get pep talk emails. Read them! Love them! They really DO help, if you let them. (And you might just find a quote from someone you know in there. I mean, maybe. You know a lot of people, right? I'm just saying it's possible. Stop looking at me like that. I don't know anything...)

People will reassure you. People who haven't read a word of your novel will tell you that it's brilliant and you can finish and you can do it. Believe them! Don't be a sourpuss. Sourpusses don't finish novels. I won't say what they do. This is a family-friendly blog. (Stop looking at me like that.)

So. If you decide to sign up, make sure to look me up. I'm right here. You can read a description of what I'll be working on, if you like. I'll put up an excerpt once the month has started. Add me as a buddy if you want to see how I'm doing, and leave links to your profiles in the comments so I can friend you back! And good luck!

Zombie Tag Teaser

2010-10-19T04:11:00.003-04:00

I didn't mean to start researching zombies. Because right after Graham died, I was pretty much okay. I fell apart in a tidy way. I cried at the funeral and slacked off on homework for a few weeks, but I never unglued myself from reality like Mom and Dad did.

Then I started getting weird. I stopped closing the bathroom door when I was in there, which was kind of bizarre. And I had to know where everyone was all the time. I got antsy if my parents left the room, and I started begging to stay home from school every day, but whenever I did stay home, I’d get freaked out about all my friends at school and worry that they were sick or something. It wasn’t cool.

So after that, after I went as totally bananas as I ever did, I started doing research on bringing dead people back to life.

The truth is, I know way more about zombies that anyone would like me to. I even know how I’d go about bringing Graham back, if I were going to do it. There’s this thing, basically an alarm clock for dead people, but the internet says no one has any idea where it is. It’s probably buried in some cave and booby-trapped and explosive and covered in guns or something. And even though everyone knows there were zombies thirty years ago, no one saw them and no one has any idea what they were like or why they all dropped dead again before anyone ever saw them awake. When a kid at school begged Ms. Hoole to talk about them, she made a big point of reminding us that it was just a theory, that nobody can say for sure that they were really zombies. Yeah. They were just a bunch of people who were supposed to have already been dead, discovered above ground, dead again. Just a theory, sure.

The main point is that there are zero, absolutely zero real reports of what the real zombies were like, so there’s a good chance that if I brought Graham back, he'd be just as brain-hungry as I was last night.

Finding all that out for the first time really freaked me out. I updated my anti-zombie weapons just in case. I made sure I had a baseball bat put away, and a can of bug spray, a few of the really good spatulas. Just in case. Nothing online gave me any reason to believe the real zombies weren't just like the ones from the movies Graham and I used to watch, so I don't know why the techniques we figured out wouldn't really work. That's what Zombie Tag is, really. It's practicing all the methods Graham and I discovered. It's training.

And I can't tell my Dad without him wanting to arrest me, and it's probably never going to matter because Anthony says there's no way the zombies are coming back.

"I Write Children's Books" OR How I Learned to Stop Fighting and Love the Stigma

2010-10-15T00:43:00.009-04:00

In Fall 2009, I started college at a certain Ivy League school that shall not be named. All that I will say is that I didn't have a good time there. And that it's a color.

For the semester I was there, I was enrolled as a "Literary Arts" major. I never really found out what Literary Arts is. I think it's a more pretentious version of an English major, but I'm not sure.

I was in a class called "Literature of Children and Young Adults." On the first day, our teacher had us go around and say why we were interested in children's books, specifically young adult books. When it got to me, I told them--"My first YA book came out in 2009. My next one is 2011."

I pretty naively expected to be congratulated.

What I got was an A on my first paper followed by a paragraph that had nothing to do with my paper and everything to do with the way I introduced myself the first day. Saying I was published was unprompted self-congratulation that set me up as a precocious kid with an attitude problem. And, my professor continued, the A on the paper should not be taken as a sign that my writing didn't need a lot, a LOT of work. I was young and naive and full of myself. I was all bark and no bite.

Later, when I asked the kids in my class what they were working on, one of them mentioned that children's books were just practice for him, and--by the way--he was so glad he wasn't planning on perusing publication for years to come, because good GOD he would be so embarassed to have anything less than his very best life's work out in the world.

I don't think I have to tell you guys how hard it is to have any self-confidence at all in this business. From the outside, it's probably very easy to see published authors as self-satisfied assholes who refuse any more growth. From the inside, I haven't seen anyone who fits this stereotype. Not to say some don't, but I think this is far, far from the norm.

We're still scared. We're still searching. We're still learning and editing and crying into our pillows. I don't have to tell you guys this. You know.

They didn't. I was surrounded by people trying to knock me down a peg, except I had nothing underneath me when they did.

I stopped going out. I couldn't write.

I went home.

That professor and those students were not the reasons I left Brown.

They didn't help.

(Oops, look at that. Said the name.)

I transferred to the University of Maryland, I started out as a Theatre major just to try to get away from the drama (ha ha ha) and the baggage. It worked, but it turned out I was a really shitty Theatre major. I started my sophomore year a month and a half ago, as an English major.

I was fucking terrified.

My plan was not to tell anyone I was published. No one. Lips zipped. It was going to be my complete and absolute secret.

And then the first day of Introduction to Creative Writing, my teacher has us go around and say what we write.

Everyone else in the class writes poetry, short fiction, doesn't write anything but wants to start. A girl is working on a sci-fi novel. Besides that, no longer works.

He gets to me, and I say, "I write children's books."

I don't think I'd ever said this sentence out loud before. I hadn't been intentionally avoiding it, but this was the first time I'd spoken about what I write since Zombie Tag sold in June. Before that, I wrote young adult books. Now I write children's books.

And then my teacher said, "Are you published?"

Well, fuck.

What was I supposed to say to that?

So I said yes and he acted impressed and I said to the class, "I'm normal. I swear. I'm normal."

And my professor said, "Don't worry. I'm sure you're not here to show off."

And that sentence cracked my whole world open and filled it with sunshine.

The moral of this story is that I would have to be beaten heavily with a stick before I'd take another children's book class.

I love being an English major. I am absolutely crazy about 20th century American Lit and literary criticism and a million other aspects of this world. I'm considering doing a second major in English Education so I'll be certified to teach those English classes down there, like, ferrealsies. Surprising no one here, I love books. I love learning about books and learning about writing.

I like that I am branded as a children's book writer.

There is still a ton of stigma around writing children's books as opposed to "real books." This is another thing you guys don't need me to tell you. But it's working for my advantage now, and I love it.

It feels a little like playing a game, because I'm pretending to check the children's books at the door. And it probably looks that way. They probably think I'm holding everything I'm learning in a separate vessel for the day I grow up and decide to write a Real Book. People see my writing as this slightly hacky side career I do while I'm not at school learning about Real Writing.

They have no idea I'm stealing all the Real Writing techniques and bending them and shaping them and hacking them into pieces and smushing them together and simplifying them and extrapolating them and plugging them into my zombie book.

They don't need to know. I'm not cheating. I'm learning. I'm enjoying myself. And I got to do it through being honest. And since I'm in classes for "real" writing, not children's writing, no one sees me as the girl who's there to show off. I'm the girl with the job on the side who's learning something totally new.

I have friends now.

It feels like I'm winning this game.

I can deal with being a hack.

English Class with Ms. Moskowitz--Part 2: Motif

2010-09-27T21:09:00.003-04:00

Okay! Onward!

Motif is easier than theme, and even less necessary. This is one that you can really ignore if you feel like it. But it's also a fun thing to play with if you like. It's something that I focus on a lot more in some books than in others, but it ends up creeping in most of the time anyway, and I bet it does in your stuff, too, more often than you might know.

The definition of a motif is really simple. It's a reoccurring element in a story that serves to tie parts of the story together. Cool?

A really obvious example of motifing (made that word up) is something like what I did in THESE HUMANS ALL SUCK, the manuscript that has been gently laid to rest. I did a lot with colors, particularly with the color blue.

If something was blue, you could pretty much bet that it was important. I didn't hit you over the head with it, I'd just casually mention that it was blue and move on. If you weren't looking for it, you probably wouldn't have noticed that blue was important. But it was there if you felt like it.

A more common example is a line or phrase that's repeated in the story. This is one I use A LOT. A character will say a line of dialogue early in the story that gets echoed in different ways--in the main character's thought process, in his own dialogue, something like that. And it immediately brings the reader back to the first time it was used.

Using your motif is like cross-referencing one part of your book to another. This is very much an English class element. If an AP English kid ever writes a paper on your book, there's a good chance he'll go in looking for motif. I'm not saying you should write your book with that goal or anything, but it's a good way to think of motif. It's something that works on an analysis level. If it's something that's very blatantly part of the story, it's probably too obvious.

I have weather as a motif in #magicgayfish. The mentions of the ocean are all in there to echo Rudy's emotional state. He projects his emotions onto the ocean (which is called a pathetic fallacy, if you're a fan of even more fancy terms). So if you were to go through and write down the different ways the ocean is described throughout the book, you would actually have written down Rudy's exact emotional arc through the book. Which is pretty cool, I think, and definitely not something I did unintentionally.

Almost done, but I want to do a quick reminder; I'm not writing The Great American Novel over here. I'm not writing anything that I could see a class analyzing in English. So this isn't something that you need to be writing literary fiction in order to worry about. Some of my YA books trend towards the more literary, and others towards more commercial, but they all have theme, motif, and allusions weaved into them, the same way they have plot and character and all that good stuff you're already used to thinking about.

Are these things I'm talking about comparable to plot and character in terms of importance? Well, it depends on the book you're writing, but almost definitely not. This is veering too closely to the literary/commercial debate for my taste (and I'm so, so sick of this debate) but just keep in mind that I'm not suggesting you stop writing dynamic, hooky plots and start writing stories of impotent old men staring out to the horizon or whatever. Write what you want. Be aware of your options.

Even my killing zombies with spatulas book has themes and motifs. And probably allusions, I can't remember. I'll talk about those next.

English Class with Ms. Moskowitz--Part 1: Theme

2010-09-21T19:12:00.006-04:00

Hello, I am Ms. Moskowitz, and I will be your teacher today.

I'm fresh out of a long day of classes and ready to toss some words at you. Topics we will cover: theme, motif, and allusion. We're starting with theme.

Before I start, we have, as usual, a few caveats:

1. I am a sophomore in college. Just...yeah. I wouldn't be blogging this if I didn't know it, but it's something to keep in mind.

2. I'm sure people will have different definitions for some of these. They're words and everyone approaches them differently. These are my interpretations and my explanations, and God knows I have a weird way of explaining stuff.

3. The most important point: no one is making you think about these things. You don't need to think about theme or motif or allusion or anything else to write a good book. You don't even need to know what they are. There's a good chance that, even if you don't know these terms, this is stuff you've already been doing.

But knowledge is power. And whether or not you choose to use these things, I really do believe that you should be aware of them. It's good to have options, and if thinking about any of these things helps any of you (they help me) then I've done my job.

Let's begin! Class in session.

--THEME

This comes first and foremost, because, in my experience, it comes first and foremost. Well, almost. Theme is the second thing I think of when I'm formulating an idea. I start with characters, proceed to theme, and then put together a plot. That's all I need to start writing.

To put it in the most naked of terms: Theme is the message of the book.

Most books have several themes. Let's talk about uhhhh I don't know. Romeo and Juliet. Here are some things you could legitimately say are themes in Romeo and Juliet.

--True love transcends societal segregation.
--Teenagers will choose their boyfriends over their families.
--True love leads to death.
--Teenagers are incapable of lasting relationships.
--Love leads to death.
--Teenage boys are full of hormones and fickle affections.

and there are a million other themes you could find in Romeo and Juliet. The truth is, if someone tells you that something is the theme of a work, it's very hard to prove them wrong. I could say the theme of Romeo and Juliet is "cats are better than dogs," and even though that's true, it's probably not one of the themes of Romeo and Juliet. Can you prove it?

And that's a very important thing about themes--they are very subjective. Because a theme is always, always, ALWAYS a full sentence.

For a theme to be a theme, it needs to be an opinion. It needs a verb. It needs to be something that you can find and identify and argue.

So "cat" could not be a theme. Cats are either in the books or they're not. No amount of arguing is going to change that. But I can argue that Romeo and Juliet has the theme "cats are better than dogs" until the cows get home, because theme is way more abstract than a simple world or two.

Let's talk about how this fits into your own writing. Your theme is the feeling that you want people to take away from the book. It's the question or the opinion or the decision that you want them to be rolling around in their brains when they close your book.

Don't worry if your theme sounds trite as hell. "Self-destruction doesn't work as a solution," is a theme in BREAK. Like, wow, hannah. Way to say something really fucking original, there. Here's your Pulitzer.

No. Themes are totally allowed to be simple, because it's still all about execution. If I were beating the reader over the head with my message (let's say for the sake of this argument that I did not do this) then it would be a different story, but if you have to suss out my theme from my 44,000 words, then I'm doing an okay job.

Theme's job is to answer the question so what? You have a nice story and some cool characters, but why do I care? What footprint are you leaving? That's your theme.

And please don't ignore that thing I hinted at two paragraphs up--you do NOT need to spell out your theme. At least 90% of the time, you shouldn't. At least 90% of the people who think they fall into the remaining 10% do not. Take out the part where you state your theme out loud, please. If your writing is strong enough, you don't need to say what your theme is.

Having a theme is NOT the same as having a moral. You don't have to be trying to teach you reader something, but your book should, in a sense, argue something. There's a reason you're writing this book. Sharing that makes the reader care too. But you've got to resist the urge to beat the reader over the head with it. Trust your reader!

Theme is your backbone, but you wouldn't go around smacking people in the face with your backbone. Keep that shit to yourself.

So class is over for today. I'll be back later with motif and allusion. They're simpler. But theme is first.

Now I have e.e. cummings stuck in my head--since feeling is first/who pays any attention/ to the syntax of things--appropriate, I think.

Anyway. I realize I'm spouting a lot of esoteric crap, here, so hit me with your questions/comments, please.

How about some Zombie Tag?

2010-09-14T16:12:00.002-04:00

So one time we were camping in our backyard, and Graham said, “What do you think happens when you die?”

We used to do that sometimes. Lug our sleeping bags out and pitch our tent and lie there, pretending we had a campfire. We couldn't do it too much because Graham would always start wheezing from lying in the grass all night, but I loved it, and I was always pushing him to do it more often, which made Mom mad.

It was really late, but so loud from the frogs and the cicadas.

I said, “I don’t…think about stuff like that.”

“Everyone thinks about stuff like that.”

“Yeah, okay, but I don’t think you’re supposed to discuss it, you know? You’re supposed to think about it quietly to yourself.”

“Talking to you is like talking to myself.”

I hoped he didn’t see me smile at that, because it didn’t sound like a compliment, even though it felt like one. I think it was too dark for him to see, anyway.

He rolled over, and the grass crunched under him while he coughed. I stretched out. I was thinking about how good a s'more would taste right then.

He said, “Okay, so you die, and just…things keep happening without you?”

“Yeah.”

“That doesn't make sense.”

“Um...I think most people agree on that one.”

“But, like, how? Like...” He was quiet here for a long time. “Like I was just coughing, and then I stopped coughing, and everything was the same as it was before I started.”

“Yeah.”

“But coughing isn't dying. How can dying just be a thing?” He shook his head. “I don’t know, Wil. I don’t know. I don’t think things will go on without me.”

I laughed. “I can’t believe how self-centered you are.”

“It’s the curse of being the person the world revolves around. A blessing and a curse.”

“You're a drip.”

He said, “But seriously. No one can say for sure that the world keeps going after they die. Because how would you know? Maybe you're the one who the world can't exist without. I mean, there has to be someone, right? One person dies and the universe is like, that's it, straw that broke the camel's back, I'm done, peace, there's no point in doing this anymore if people are going to keep keeling over on me.”

“That’s so stupid.” I rolled over on the grass and looked at him. “Billions of people have already died, and here we are.”

“But it only takes one person.”

“And that person’s going to be you?”

“Hey, you don’t know me.” He laughed. His breathing was getting noisy.

I said, “Of course I know you. That’s the point.”

“Yeah.” His breath caught, and he coughed some more. “You’re pretty lucky to know me, let’s be honest.” He was wheezing pretty badly by then.

MG vs. YA

2010-09-11T14:05:00.004-04:00

I've written YA for a long time, and I've only seriously been writing MG for about six months. In a lot of ways, I'm still learning the ropes.

But MGs are my favorites to read. They have been ever since I was very, very young. Even while I was still reading picture books or early chapter books on my own, my mom was reading my sister and me MG books before we went to sleep. I know a lot of voracious readers who grew up reading the classics. They read Huck Finn and Jane Eyre when they were five. I didn't do that. (Hell, I still haven't read Huck Finn). I grew up with middle grade books.

By the time I was eleven, I'd switched mainly to YA, and that's still the bulk of what I read. And don't get me wrong. I love YA. Some of my favorite books are YA. But a lot of my very, very favorites are MG, which is why writing it has been this pretty amazing experience.

People have asked me lately what the differences are between writing YA and writing MG. Some of them are easy. But before I start...

I'M INVOKING THE EXCEPTION RULE: YES. THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS. FROM HERE ON OUT, EXPECT EXCEPTIONS. COOL? COOL.

--In MG, your main character's probably going to be 8-14 years old. In YA, you're looking at 15-18.

--Sex, drugs, cursing, those things that some people still think you can't do in YA? Well, you can't do them in MG.

--MG is probably shorter. This is way more relevant in contemporary (as is probably everything I'm going to say) than in fantasy. And if you're like me, they'll probably end up being about the same size anyway, because all my books are fairly short. BREAK (YA) is 43,000 words, INVINCIBLE SUMMER (YA) is 53,000, ZOMBIE TAG (MG) is 44,000. Not a huge amount of variation there.

There are other differences I've noticed that are harder to define, but that I think are really noteworthy and interesting.

--THEMES.

MG books tend to be very focused on the main character's place in his community, whatever that may be. The MG protag wants to fit in. That doesn't have to be as literal as "I want the popular kids to like me!" though it certainly can be. You'll see a lot of "I want to be the son my father wants me to be," "I want to make the baseball team," "I want everyone to stop treating me like I'm a freak because I have cerebral palsy," or "I want my community to trust me despite this mistake I made a while ago." From there, conflict happens and things can get very confusing (though they can also stay focused on that initial motivation) but when the book starts out, very often the main character's primary goal is to find his place and slip into it.

I know it isn't a book (and I haven't even read the books. I suck) but I use the movie How To Train Your Dragon all the time when people ask me what a MG book is, because it's such a perfect example in my head. At the beginning of the movie, all Hiccup wants is to be a big strong dragon hunter like the other men in the village.

The themes in YA, on the other hand, tend to be focused on the individual alone or on her relationship with a very select group of people. "I want to get over my father's death." "I want to get into a healthy relationship. "I want to stop doing drugs." "I want to start doing drugs." "I want to get into a good college." "I want everyone to leave me alone."

Unlike MGs, which typically start wide (Hiccup's whole village) and later narrow somewhat (Hiccup's friendship with Toothless--though please keep in mind that the wider issue does not get left behind), a YA sometimes starts wide but almost always ends up very narrowly focused.

I can't use a book example for YA when I'm not using one for MG, so let's use My So-Called Life. Angela Chase wants a new life. She has all these people and they're all new and exciting. That's the first episode. By the middle of the first season, her conflicts aren't with the whole world around her anymore. They're with whether she's going to let Jordan Catalano keep copying her homework. The other people are still there, and she can still interact with them, but the individual bits of conflict tend to be on a very very tight basis. And the main conflict is definitely not how the whole school thinks of Angela, as it is for Hiccup and his village.

And before I go on--you guys know that "fitting in" or "getting a boyfriend" or "romance" or "killing dragons"...you guys know those things aren't themes, right? I saw a writer misuse the word "theme" the other day, and it broke my heart. Those are "thematic elements"--stuff the themes are concerned with--but they aren't the themes themselves. "Fitting in is impossible without altering who you are," or "Getting a boyfriend requires more persistence than most people are willing to put in," those are themes. Really depressing ones, but themes nonetheless.

Let me know if I should do a post on stuff like themes and motifs and the differences between them. I'm an English major. I can bring it if you want it.

Anyway.

--SCOPE.

The easiest way to define this is--in MG, you get to save the world. In YA, you don't.

And this is related to the last point. A typical plot arc in MG starts with the kind of conflict mentioned above and turns into something like...

MAIN CHARACTER wants X. Through doing X, he learns that he has to save the world from CONSEQUENCES OF X.

By trying to accomplish his initial goal, the protagonist might learn something or do something or figure out something that will cause him to have to save the universe, or whatever his version of the universe might be (His town, his school, his family, an actual universe).

How to Train Your Dragon:

HICCUP wants TO KILL A DRAGON. Through TRYING TO KILL A DRAGON, he learns that he has to save the world from KILLING ALL THE DRAGONS BECAUSE THEY ARE ACTUALLY NOT BAD.

Zombie Tag:

WIL wants TO BRING HIS BROTHER BACK TO LIFE. Through BRINGING HIS BROTHER BACK TO LIFE, he learns that he has to save the world from ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE HE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE.

In YA? Not so much. The climax is way more likely to be between the main character and her boyfriend, or the main character and her best friend, than it is to be between the forces of good and evil.

Are these set in stone? Nope. A YA fantasy is way more likely to have a world-saving element than a quiet, meandering MG. But these two rules *are* the reason I'm staunchly on the "They're all MG" side of the Harry Potter debate. Harry grows up, but the themes and scope don't. It's not like we're reading thousands of pages to see if he and Ginny are going to get it on, and it's not like we wanted the final showdown in Book 7 to be Ron and Harry fighting over Hermione. The rules are looser in fantasy, but I still think the Harry Potter themes stick them all into the MG camp. A lot of the fantasy we have in YA right now is paranormal romance. Not a genre I'm well-versed in, but even though there's that element of a bigger threat, most of the conflict is still interpersonal, right?

--DEPTH AND BREADTH.

I've been giving YA sort of a bad rap in this post, which...sucks, because it's not at all what I intended. I love YA. And maybe this point will help illustrate why.

Generally, word for word, page for page, not as much happens in a YA. You get to linger. You get to really sink into a main character's voice. The fact that you're focused on two or three important relationships and not the fate of the whole world is such a blessing because it lets you go into everything very, very deeply. You can have fantastically complicated relationships in YA--think about Angela and Rayanne's in My So-Called Life. You have time to really delve into them and explore them and do whatever the fuck you want with them. And that's the thing, if you ask me, that makes YA so damn cool. I think again, measuring proportionally, word for word, YA books do more for character development and exploration than any other genre. (Go ahead, kill me for that. I don't care.)

In an MG book, usually more happens. You have a lot more action and movement and excitement. You cover a lot of ground. You don't have as much time to pause and dive into things. Is there time? Of course, and an MG that doesn't give itself time to build strong relationships between the characters is going to fall completely flat. Even if you're drawn to a book because of a cool plot--and at this age, most of the readers are--you're going to stay because you love the characters. But MG does sometimes need to leave more to the imagination than a YA, simply because there isn't time to explore all the nuances of the characters' relationships.

I mean, you have to go save the world.

It's Time For...

2010-09-07T20:56:00.005-04:00

..Teaser Tuesday! (It's been a few weeks, yeah?)

How about...The Animals Were Gone!

This is Craig's point of view, and he's talking about two different boys--Lio, with whom he's hit a rocky point in their very, very tentative relationship, and Cody, the ex-boyfriend who is out of his life but not at all out of his mind.

--

Things I always liked about Lio:

The gaps between his canines and the rest of his teeth that make him look like a vampire or a really dangerous puppy.

His stupid multicolored hair that he never lets me see because of those hats he wears even though he isn't cold.

The fact that the teachers stopped making him take his hats off after the first week, probably because his hair is so fucked up.

The scar from the central line he had, and how he wears tank tops that let it show and acts like he doesn't give a shit who sees, and explains when people ask about it, with a small smile to show he doesn't mind that they asked, and plays with it, running his fingers across it and pinching the scar tissue when he thinks no one's looking.

His voice, low and gravelly, like he's always getting over a cold.

Things I now hate:

His stupid smiles he makes me work for.

His stupid multicolored hair that he never lets me see because of those hats he wears even though he isn't cold.

The fact that I probably won't be mad at him a few hours because he's so fucking charmed.

Cancer boy cancer boy cancer boy cancer boy, I get it.

His silence.

***

So Cody's dad's death pretty much destroyed my boy, and as much as we didn't want it to destroy us, as hard as we worked, as hard as I worked...

God, I held on. I held on so hard.

When he was screaming. When he was crying. When he was telling me he hated me and why hadn't I died instead. That time he slapped me across the face and shrieked that I bring him back. The time he shoved me across the room and told me if he ever saw me again he'd kill me himself, and called me two hours later, baby I'm so sorry, baby I'm just so sad and I don't know what to do and my therapist says I BLAH BLAH BLAH

When he said he was going to buy a gun and get revenge himself, and I told him no--not because I thought that was wrong, but because I knew he wouldn't go to Afghanistan and I was worried he would go to me or his mother or his therapist.

So they eventually shipped him off, not to Afghanistan, but to some hospital and then some school, and I never visited him, not once, and it took so long before he asked me to visit, and it should be simple to say no, I can't, I won't do it again, I can't, but it isn't, because he fell asleep crying in my arms so many times, and he called me Lollipop, and he told me I was the only thing, the only thing in the entire huge bad scary world, that helped.

***

So fuck frozen cold hearts, because who are they helping?

Fuck you, frozen cold heart.

What Are We Doing to YA?

2010-09-03T10:48:00.004-04:00

This post is more of a question than most of mine are. I fully admit that this is all speculation. But it's something I've been wondering for a while.

Has the internet community changed YA?

Am I right in thinking that YA writers are the most active online? We tweet word counts and deadlines and what our main character would eat for breakfast. We friend each other on Facebook and leave each other rep points on AW. We have blogs just for posting excerpts and shit like this. We know each other's names, agents, and editors like we're all related. We're The Contemps, the Debs, the Tenners, the Elevensies, the Musers.

The word "blogosphere," ugly though it may be, is so appropriate. We're our own little biosphere. We have staked out our little corner of the internet, and we're loud and social and crazy and God knows I'm part of the problem.

And lately I've been worrying that it really is a problem.

To put it plainly, I'm starting to wonder if YA is turning into something written by/for the internet community under the guise of writing for everyday teenagers, and that who likes you on the internet is more important to your career--or, if not to your career, to your psyche and your perception of your success--than if teenagers are picking up your book.

Is the gap between "successful" author and "author teenagers want to read" getting wider and wider as our main audience to impress becomes bloggers and librarians instead of teenagers themselves?

(For the record, I realize and acknowledge that some of us are teenagers ourselves. But if you're reading this, you're not the average book-reading teenager. You know too much. We've relinquished our right to be considered the average YA reading teenager.)

Are we getting too self-referential to be relevant?

I don't know. But recently, YA has started to look very clubby to me, and I'm wondering if that's really fair for the readers. If we're writing to be social, are we doing our readers a disservice?

We give each other biased Goodreads reviews because we don't want to piss anyone off. We tell people we love books we haven't read just because we're friends with the author. We're so loud about the books we love--which should be a great thing!--that we might be fooling ourselves into thinking that our tastes reflect those of a teenager.

We hear so much about publishing trends. Vampires are in, vampires are out, zombies are in, zombies are out, angels are in, angels are out. But a teenager who loves vampires wants to read more about vampires. She doesn't give a shit whether it's out or not. So is our perception of a "saturated" market affecting her? I'm not saying, obviously, that we should all be out writing vampire books, but wouldn't it make more sense if we did stuff steadily instead of in trendy slews? And wouldn't that be possible if we weren't so intent on responding to and competing with the authors we follow on Twitter?

I think the reason I'm posing these questions is that lately I've felt very disillusioned and overwhelmed. I still love YA. But when I'm writing stuff like #magicgayfish, I start questioning my own relevance really, really easily. I love that you guys are all over it, and obviously I hope that teenagers would have the same reaction, if the thing gets published.

But how closely does our taste reflect that of an actual teenager?

Are the boys we swoon over the ones THEY find hot?

Okay, I'm asking a lot of questions. So here's what I think.

What was initially cool about YA, in my opinion, was that it had the least adult influence from the shelf to the hands of the reader. YAs pick out and buy and read their own books. Their parents don't screen them first. And obviously [adult] publishers still have to decide to publish them (and that's a HUGE thing, but we really can't change that) and the bookstore or the library still has to decide to stock them, but it was still more direct than other childrens' books. It's the kid's wallet, the kid's choice.

And now for some reason, it looks to me like we're letting it become books about teenagers and for adults rather than about teenagers for teenagers, and the way we're going, I don't think that's going to change.

WE'RE the ones counting down the days 'til the next big YA comes out.

WE'RE the ones fantasizing about ourself and the Next Hot Boy.

WE'RE the ones trend-chasing and trend-hating and jacking up the Goodreads reviews.

I think in the future, people are going to equate expecting YA to be only for young adults to expecting science fiction to be only for scientists.

I don't know. I've had very many emotional crisises lately where I'm like I DON'T KNOW WHAT TEENAGERS WANT. So maybe I'm just projecting. But I still think the market shift is noteworthy and worrisome.

Your thoughts?

The Agent Story--PART 3

2010-08-31T17:20:00.004-04:00

So I'm on the phone, holding my breath, and Agent 2 says, "I got a job offer as an editor."

"...Oh." Yeah. I knew what was coming, but I was still gripping to a tiny bit of hope. Maybe he was about to say, but I said, screw you, bitches, I'm staying with hannah!

But no. He said he'd decided to take the job and he was really excited. But he was quick to say, "I'm not leaving you all alone. We've had a lot of meetings here, and we decided the best fit for you would probably be Suzie Townsend--"

"Oh, I know Suzie."

"You do?"

I guess it made some sense that he was surprised, since at that point, Suzie was fairly new. But I'm a ho on the internet, as you know, and I already knew Lisa Desrochers and knew Suzie was her agent. But because Lisa was the only one of her clients I knew about, my mind jumped to paranormal romance and I went WHAT ARE YOU THINKING in my head because, lovely though it may be, paranormal romance is pretty much the furthest thing from what I do. Except for the magic gay fish book. But whatever.

But when Agent 2 said, "So, can Suzie call you?" I said "Absolutely." Because what harm could it do? If it didn't seem like we'd mesh well, I could always query other people.

And then I congratulated him, and I hung up and cried my eyes out.

And then Suzie called.

Suzie is lovely on the phone, guys. Like, she's lovely in all capacities, but I feel pretty lucky that my first introduction to her was on the phone, where I could actually hear how excited she was and how much she liked my work. She thought this was going to be a great thing for both of us. I thought she was a little delusional, but at least she sounded like she liked my stuff.

I realize this part of the story makes me sound like a total bitch. But imagine you've been dating this guy for six months, and you're crazy about him, and he dumps you out of nowhere. If someone new comes along, no matter if she's super super hot and awesome and sweet, are you really going to believe her when she tells you she's your one and only true love?

Well...maybe you just need to give it a few weeks.

So I did.

And I can't really remember what happened. We started working on different stuff and re-evaluating where my career was going. I dove into Invincible Summer revisions, and her love of MG encouraged me to try my hand at it. We went on sub together and sold together. But even before that, weeks and weeks before that, I was smitten.

I think it was her ed letters.

God, nothing gets me going like a good ed letter.

So Agent 1 promised me revisions and rarely gave them. Agent 2 barely revised at all. Suzie, as some of you know, gets out her scissors and cuts your ideas into pieces and puts them back together the way they were supposed to be, you idiot.

I'd never had an agent who'd done that before. I wasn't sure I wanted it. I wasn't even sure I needed it. But the first letter Suzie sent me, on a project I'd finished years before (remember the manuscript that got me Agent 1 and didn't sell? that one) hit me in a way no critique had. You know how usually you have to get defensive first, then deal with that, then open yourself back up, before you can really see the points a critter gives you? Suzie's invented some kind of crazy magic formula that completely bypasses your defensive zone and hits you straight in the OHHHHHH part of your brain. The second she suggests something that's going to make the manuscript better, it's like I can already see that improved version of the manuscript in my head. Like I can envision all the words I'll need to change or add or take out to get there.

Writing with Suzie is different from writing without Suzie. And I never would have known that, or suspected that I was missing anything.

I'm a better writer now. I'm a different writer now. If I'd stayed with Agent 1, I'd probably still be stalled at the gate. If Agent 2 hadn't left, I'm sure I'd still be wildly happy and would probably have met a lot of success as the two of us continued together, but I would have ended up a very different writer.

But I'm with Suzie.

And I really, really like the kind of writer that's making me.

--

So there you have it. The complete and total agent story.

In some ways traditional, in some ways not.

I'll take questions, as always, and thanks for following along.

A Brief Interruption

2010-08-25T12:57:00.002-04:00

I know you guys want Part 3, but we need to do this first.

One year ago today...

Though it had been spotted in the wild before...

BREAK was officially unleashed upon the world.

I celebrated in the usual ways...

Since then, BREAK has received reviews like THIS:

Hannah Moskowitz delivers a passionate debut about one boy struggle to make his world sane by being insane. It's a story that I'll never forget!
A Must Read!

And like THIS...

I thought this book was absolutely boring and stupid. I am not trying to be overly harsh, but I found that I was bored throughout most of the book.

And I've received so many emails that made me do this.

So I would like to offer up a big slice of

to all the lovely ladies (and men--I know you're there somewhere) of Simon Pulse who believed in a crazy book like BREAK.

And to all of you--

Who have read BREAK, especially if you reviewed it, especially if you told a friend about it.

Thank you so much. It has been an amazing year.

Happy birthday, BREAK.

The Agent Story--PART 2

2010-08-24T17:02:00.003-04:00

So I left Agent #1 in May of 2009. I'd been wanting to split for a few months, but I had a book on submission with her and I wanted to wait and see how that turned out. But the emails slowed, then stopped, and no matter how many times I emailed and called, I got no response. I realized I had nothing to gain my staying. I terminated the contract on my way out the door to a restaurant. I felt great.

Immediately after the split, even before I queried again, I did two things.

First, I emailed the editors who, as far as I know, still had the book on sub. I pretty much groveled, asking if they knew the status of the manuscript. Most of them answered, and they were all very nice. They'd all passed, but my agent hadn't told me. So that was that.

Second, I emailed my Simon Pulse editor, who had asked for a manuscript of mine nearly six months earlier. My agent didn't think it was ready, and said we weren't going to do anything with it until I edited according to some notes she had. I asked about these notes every few weeks. They never materialized.

So as soon as we split, I emailed my editor, told her what was up, and asked her if she wanted to see the manuscript. She did. And I got to work finding another agent.

I seriously thought I'd have no problem drumming up another agent. I'd worked with an gent for over a year! I knew the drill! I had a book coming out in three months! Who wouldn't want to work with me?

It took about three weeks for that to get sucked out of me. When May passed, and then June, and then July with no new agent, I was terrified.

This was a busy summer for me. I was planning for BREAK's release, which was stressful but not time-consuming, since by that point the book's all done and completely out of your hands. I was getting ready to go to college in the fall and taking two summer classes. And I was querying essentially non-stop.

I decided to query INVINCIBLE SUMMER because it was my favorite, and really it was either that, a manuscript I didn't like as much, or the manuscript I loved that had been subbed all over the place my Agent #1, which I didn't think would make it a very attractive commodity to agents. In either late July or early August, I got one of the weirdest emails ever. Something like...

Hey Hannah. I finished reading INVINCIBLE SUMMER. Great job!

Great job? What the fuck does that mean?

I puzzled over that for a minute, then I wrote back thanking him and asking if he'd like to schedule a phone call. He said absolutely, and that's when I relaxed. Significantly.

I ended up with one other offer from an absolutely brilliant agent, but I went with the one who originally offered (hereafter Agent #2) because his vision of INVINCIBLE SUMMER meshed more closely with mine (meaning, he didn't make me do any edits. More on this later!

About a week after we signed, I got an email from my SP editor telling me she was halfway through INVINCIBLE SUMMER and loving it. Agent #2 stepped up to the plate, drummed up a mini-auction, and we ended up selling INVINCIBLE SUMMER back to my SP editor in a two-book deal. This was the week before BREAK came out.

(In case anyone's confused re. why SP didn't automatically get IS--IS was not my option book. SP had already turned that one down. Just clarifying.)

I was wildly, deliriously happy with Agent #2, and I have nothing but good memories from working with him. He didn't edit my manuscripts, but at that point, I didn't think I wanted that, since I'd gone through so much hell waiting for edits from Agent #1. He answered all my emails in a heartbeat and had a great sense of humor. I found out later that he way more clients than I ever would have guessed. I felt like I was his only one, and I never had any communication issues at all. I was in heaven.

He had great big ideas for my career as a whole, and he worked hard on subsidiary rights and encouraged me to branch out beyond YA. He's the reason I wrote an adult book. He's not the reason the adult book was a big big mess that didn't sell.

So...we're on sub with the big mess of an adult book, and he emails me and says, "Need to talk to you. Can I call?"

This is January of 2010. I'd just spent my first night in my new house. I thought this was big news. You know, one of The Calls.

I was completely jittery when he called and said, "So. I have news."

I said, "I love news."

And he said, "You won't love this news."

To be continued...

The Agent Story--PART 1

2010-08-20T23:06:00.006-04:00

Okay. So I've had a lot of people ask me how the hell I managed to be nineteen and on my third agent. This is actually a topic I've been fairly quiet about, but I think it's helpful for me to be honest because my story is actually, in my opinion, a very good example of the kinds of problems and decisions you might have to make with regards to agents.

So. Here's what happened. I will not be naming every name, because the purpose of this post isn't to call out anyone but to take you through the thought process in choosing an agent, leaving an agent, and dealing with losing an agent.

This is a very long story, so I'm going to divide it into three posts.

PART ONE

I queried four different manuscripts for a total of a year before I got my first offer, which turned into four by the end of that week. It felt as if something had fallen from the sky and landed on my head. Something awesome.

I was sixteen and still fairly new in the online writing community (though not new to writing)

I talked to three of the four agents on the phone. I asked the fourth (actually, the first to offer) if she'd like to talk, and she said she didn't think there was any reason to do a phone call. The first phone call went well. The second went VERY well, and I was pretty sure that unless something unprecedented happened, I would be going with her. The third phone call was fine, but we didn't click, so I confidently went with #2.

Factors in my decision:

--My friend was with her and loved her.
--We clicked on the phone. She was talkative, gregarious, and completely enthusiastic about my work.
--She offered on another manuscript, while all the others offered on BREAK. I liked the other one more and liked the possibility of going out with that one first. We ended up going out with BREAK anyway, and the one she offered on never sold, so there you go.

Things didn't work out.

I feel like an idiot now, thinking about the stuff I let happen before the split. But my logic was really clear: I thought it was normal.

I thought it was normal that my agent didn't do a lot of contract negotiations or ask me for my input.

I thought it was normal that I had to send five to ten emails on a subject, spread out over a period of months, before I would get a response. I thought being on sub meant months of silence followed by, after extensive nagging, an email with every rejection she'd collected but not mentioned.

I thought it was normal that she'd promise edits on my manuscript and never send them.

I want to make two things very clear:

1. This was a legitimate agent. She did not charge any fees or do anything unethical. She didn't steal anyone's work or money. She successfully sold my first novel. She came from a well-known agency. She had many sales before mine and some after. Many of her authors have gone on to be very successful.

I was not cheated, victimized, or taken advantage of.

I just made a mistake.

Which leads me to point two:

2. I was not an idiot. I was young and naive, yes, but I was not in a bubble. I was an active member on AW and knew a fair amount of writers. The Musers existed even before I signed with this agent, and they were with me through this whole process. So the reason I thought this was okay wasn't because of a lack of information.

Really, it was the opposite.

Because this happens to so many people.

I know so many people who have signed with agents--agents that other people I respect have and love--and the relationship did not work for them. Many of them had the same problems I did: lack of responsiveness. There's a reason that I mentioned to both agent 2 and agent 3 that I was paranoid about them dropping off the face of the earth. It happens.

It happens more often than you'd think.

And people don't leave because they are so grateful to have an agent, because getting an agent is hard. And because everyone around them seems so fucking chipper, that they think the problem might be them. They have a great agent. They have the same agent as a celebrity or a friend of theirs or they have the agent that everyone's talking about over on AW. They do not have a bad agent. They wouldn't be that stupid.

No one wants to be the guy who leaves his agent.

When I was applying to college, one of my favorite teachers said to my class, a group of stressed out, hyped up, first semester seniors, "You know, you don't have to get it right the first time. Plenty of people transfer. It's okay."

And we smiled and nodded and uh-hmmed and in our heads we're all going, "Not me, no way, transferring is for other people."

I was the fucking queen of transferring is for other people. I applied Early Decision to the school I knew, absolutely knew, I was going to go to.

I left after a semester.

I am so, so happy that I did.

I left my first agent after 15 months. And I so, so wish I had done it sooner.

Which is why I want to run around spreading the gospel now.

I know what it's like to be happy with my agent. (Hey Suzie!) At the time, I didn't. I didn't know if it could get better.

If you're asking yourself if it can, it can.

Do not stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy. If you have an issue that you have broached that cannot be solved, it might be time to leave. If you two cannot see eye-to-eye on something important, it might be time to leave.

If you think it might be time to leave, it is almost definitely time to leave.

Obviously I appreciate the value of agents. Scroll down a post if you don't believe me. But all those things that I mentioned down there? I only realized they were true when I got with an agent who worked for me.

You need and deserve an agent who works for you.

And just because an agent is great does NOT mean she works for you.

The next post will go over what happened after I left Agent 1 and how I connected with Agent 2. I'll take any questions in the comments, as always, and please feel free to email me if you have any questions you don't want all over the internet (she says as she sprays her problems all over the internet).

Reasons You Want an Agent (That You Haven't Heard a Million Times Before)

2010-08-14T22:04:00.005-04:00

Later this week, I'll be telling the story of how I came to be with the lovely Suzie Townsend, because my agent-story is a little different from the ones you usually see (though by no means unique...for better or for worse). But first I wanted to address the question you probably hear a lot from people who aren't in the industry.

Your agent gets 15% of your money? What does s/he even DO?

And we all spout the list of reasons we've learned a thousand times over.

I've been thinking lately about the things my agent does for me that aren't the ones you usually see listed. We all know at least the skeleton of what an agent does for her clients. She makes contacts with publishers, she edits her clients' work, she reads, adjusts, and manages contracts.

But now I'll make a confession: I was once the kind of person who insisted that agents were a waste of money.

This was years ago, way before I'd had any kind of success, and before I found AbsoluteWrite, where this idea was promptly shaken out of my head with all the great reasons I've mentioned above. But it wasn't until I had an agent--and, really, it wasn't until I had my first good agent (more later this week...) that I began to understand all the other reasons that every writer with her eyes on a career, no matter if she's sold no books or sixty books, should strongly, strongly consider looking for an agent.

So. Here are some reasons you might not have thought about.

--YOUR BOOK GETS AN ADVOCATE BEFORE IT IS SUCCESSFUL. When you get an agent, in all likelihood, your book hasn't made anybody any money. It's used up a lot of time, made your husband exasperated with you, cost you a raise at work, eaten up your homework time, and otherwise left a giant crater in your pre-novel existence. But you inexplicably love it and want to spend more time with it, and while you try to stay realistic, you drift off to sleep secretly dreaming about high school students dissecting it in English class.

And now guess what? Someone else is dreaming about it too.

Your agent is your first fan. Later, your editor will have to make a leap of faith and buy a book that might not be successful, but your agent has to do it first, and she has to do it in a different way.

An editor who picks up a manuscript knows that the agent have screened and read and sparkled it. An agent knows none of this. An agent who falls in love with your book doesn't know if she's the first or the twentieth agent to have that response. And she loves it anyway. And if she offers, she's willing to make that leap of faith and cross her fingers that she won't be the only one.

She believes in your book when you previously might have been the only one doing so.

--YOU LEARN TO COLLABORATE WITH INDUSTRY PROFESSIONALS BEFORE YOU HAVE A BOOK DEAL. I've had an agent who didn't edit and agent who edits a book to pieces (hey Suzie!) and an agent who fell somewhere in-between. It's not hard for me to decide which method I like best. (hey Suzie!)

I believe that the best agents are the agents who make the book the best fucking thing it can be before they let it out into the world. Because not only is this best for the book, it's best for the author. Especially if we're talking debut novel.

Because even if your agent lets the thing go out unscathed, an editor isn't going to do the same. Somewhere along the line, something you love is going to get cut and something you don't love is going to be suggested, and you're going to need to learn what to accept and what to fight. You're going to need to figure out how you approach directions and revisions handed to you in a completely new way. Do you outline? Because your editor might want you to. Do you like firm direction or open-ended questions? (I like it firm. You heard me.) Your editor might do it the opposite way.

You will need to learn to cope. Learn early with your agent.

--YOUR CRAZY WRITING PROCESS? LEGITIMIZED. I had so many people telling me that I was approaching writing the "wrong" way. Real writers don't watch TV while they write! Real writers spend time on their first drafts! Real writers have to cut words, not add! Real writers like sausage on their pizza, not pepperoni, you punkass bitch!

Yeah. Well now everyone can shut the fuck up, because you have an agent. Which brings me to...

--OTHER WRITERS WILL TAKE YOU MORE SERIOUSLY. This point obviously sucks, but it's worth noting. Way too many published and agented writers assume that everyone who isn't must be bad. I guess they were born published or something, I don't know.

Anyway, get an agent, put it in your twitter profile or your AW signature, and suddenly people will start to notice you. It's kind of gross, but while you're getting pissed about, you should be getting ready to use it to your advantage. Because getting noticed is important. You want to know as many fucking people as you can. Period. So a corollary would be:

--NETWORKING. Get an agent, and you become instant casual friends with that agent's colleagues, her other clients, the clients of the colleagues, etc. It's nice to have more tables to sit with at lunch, and this opens doors to getting to know even more writers through friends of your friends. You'll probably meet some people you absolutely adore. You'll almost definitely make connections with people you don't adore that will still end up helping you later. Every writer needs someone to blurb her books.

I know I'm revealing my ugly side in this post, but I'm not saying anything you guys don't already know, and you know it. You will meet amazing people. You will also meet people who will help you. If you're lucky, these will be the same people. They're not always. Know how to talk to everyone.

And do it. Talk to everyone. And getting an agent opens up those doors.

--YOU DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT MONEY WITH YOUR EDITOR. Switching gears here. After your agent sells your book, you start your other most important relationship: the one with your editor. If you are as lucky as I am, your editor will be absolutely amazing, you will send her random ridiculous emails, and you will be just as close with her as you are with your agent.

But there will still be conversations that happen between you and your agent and not between you and your editor, and conversations that happen between your agent and your editor and not between you and your editor. These are conversations about money and marketing and the nitty gritty.

If you don't have an agent, and you're trying to negotiate a book deal yourself, or negotiate your books' placement in the catalogue or in a bookstore, you're going to hear a hell of a lot more than you want to about where your book sits on a publisher's list and how much money it's worth to the imprint and how it compares to the season's lead title and all of that crap.

You don't want to know that.

You and your editor have a job to do together. Make the best book that you can. That means you need to talk character motivations and scene placement. You do not need to talk co-op and royalty percentages. Leave it to someone else. Don't dirty up your relationship. Don't give any resentment a chance to take root.

--SOMETIMES YOU WILL FEEL CONFUSED AND STUPID. Then your editor will send you an email telling you about a second printing or a review or a stage in the publishing process, and you will smile and say "Awesome!" while your head is saying, "I don't know if this is awesome because I have no idea what the fuck this means."

You are not stupid. You are new. It's okay to be embarrassed. Your editor knows the answer to this question. You can ask her if you want.

So does your agent.

Ask her.

--SOMEONE WILL (HOPEFULLY) STAY WITH YOU ACROSS BOOKS AND PUBLISHERS. If your editor passes on your option book and you need to shop it to other publishers, or you write in a genre that your editor doesn't do, you're going to feel scared and alone shopping that around if your editor is your only close contact in the publishing world.

Enter agent. When Suzie and I went out with ZOMBIE TAG, the middle grade publishing world was completely new and unfamiliar for me. These were editors' whose names I didn't know, some with imprints I'd never given much thought. I didn't have the connections. Suzie did. She was making them while I was home snuggled up with Simon Pulse.

Because...

--THIS IS A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP. And things in publishing change. Quickly. People come and go, switch houses, switch sides of the writing/agenting/publishing table, take time off, have babies, change genres. Your agent is meant to be your longest relationship in publishing.

I know a lot of people have had experiences that have them laughing at this right now. And trust me. I've been there. Assuming Suzie doesn't go anywhere, ZOMBIE TAG will be my first book release when I'll still be with the agent who sold the damn thing.

But it's something to keep in mind. An agent signs you for your career. There is more security in having an agent than there is in any other relationship in publishing.

And this will segue nicely into my post about how it all happened with me, huh?

I'm Lame but At Least It's Tuesday

2010-08-10T10:29:00.003-04:00

There ARE real posts coming at some point. I promise. I even have ideas for them (okay, ideas for one). But I'm in Orlando until Friday, so for now, have a teaser! It's from Invincible Summer. It's the scene I read at the Muser reading last week!

“No love without a little innocence,” Noah says, completely still.

“I thought you were asleep. You’re so creepy.”

He shrugs. “So how was your lovely innocent night?”

“I kissed her.”

“What a man.” But he says it warmly. “How was it?”

My first thought is to relate it to soft serve ice cream, but I can already hear Noah laughing at that. “It was nice.”

“God. God, really, it was nice?” He sounds so earnest that I think for a minute that he’s making fun of me. He props himself up on an elbow. “God, I fucking miss when kisses were nice. I’m so jealous of people young enough to still have nice kisses.”

“Wait, kissing isn’t nice anymore?”

“No. It’s foreplay. Trust me, you get old enough, and everything is foreplay. Kissing is foreplay. Talking is foreplay. Holding hands is foreplay. I swear to God, Chase, I think at this point, sex would be foreplay.”

This would probably be a good time to ask if he and Melinda have really slept together, but I can’t make myself say the words. So I just say, “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Sex is a to-do list where nothing gets crossed out.”

I find the passage Noah quoted in my Camus book. “No love without a little innocence. Where was the innocence? Empires were tumbling down; nations and men were tearing at one another’s throats; our hands were soiled. Originally innocent without knowing it, we were now guilty without meaning to be: the mystery was increasing our knowledge. This is why, O mockery, we were concerned with morality. Weak and disabled, I was dreaming of virtue!”

Noah looks at me and coughs, his eyebrows up in his bangs.

“What?” I say.

With a straight face, he recites, “I may not have been sure about what really did interest me, but I was absolutely sure about what didn’t.”

“Come on. It’s foreplay? Seriously?”

“You’re too young.” He flops backwards. “You wouldn’t understand. You are a fetus in a world of Camus and spermicidal lubricant.”

“And you’re an asshole.”

“I’m just cynical. And you have no idea how far that’s going to take me.”

“Neither do you.”

“Au contraire, little brother. I know exactly how this college game works. I will arrive, the dark horse in a band of mushy-hearted freshman. College will pee itself in terror of my disenfranchised soul.”

I roll my eyes. “Beautiful.“

“Look. Listen to my words of wisdom. College’s only role these days, for a upper-middle class kind going in for a fucking liberal arts degree, is very simple. Do you know what that is?”

“A diploma. A good job. Yay.”

“No. College exists only because it thrives on the hopes and dreams of the young and innocent. College is a hungry zombie here to eat your brains. It wants to remind you that your naivety is impermanent and someday, English major or no, you’ll wear a suit and hate the feeling of sand between your toes.”

It’s not going to happen to me.

Noah continues, in a low mutter, “Like that’s not already forced into our heads every single fucking minute of every winter.”

“So you’re, like, essentially already educated, just because you’re an asshole?”

“Because I’ve resigned myself to my fate, yeah. I’ve pre-colleged myself. I’m rocking the institution, entering it already all disillusioned and shit. I’m going to single-handedly change the world of higher education.”

I clear my throat. “I may not have been sure about what really did interest me, but I was absolutely sure about what didn’t.”

“Go to sleep. Asshole.”

SCBWI!

2010-07-28T19:13:00.004-04:00

SO. I will be in LA from Thursday the 29th until Tuesday the 2nd or the 3rd, I can't count. And after that I'm leaving for New York for the rest of the week, then Orlando for the week after that, so...posting will be light for the next couple of weeks.

That being said, I hope and pray that you will be at SCBWI and that you will come say hello to me. If you see me, you absolutely MUST say hi, no avoiding it. Check the videos if you need to know what I look like, and I'll tweet in the mornings what I'mw earing if you'd like to stalk me that much (which you obviously should).

If you have a copy of BREAK, please give it to me so I can sign it! I'll also tons of bookmarks on my person at all times, so you should come talk to me if just for a signed bookmark.

I am absolutely horrible with names and faces, so please, if you run into me, tell me your full name and your email address and what your book is about and your twitter handle and what your twitter picture looks like and your social security number and any other possible way for me to identify you. I promise I love you all, I just am dumb and this is how I exist.

If you are coming to SCBWI, or if you are just in the area, I have to encourage you very very VERY highly to come to the Muser reading at Open bookstore in Long Beach at 7 PM on Monday (details are in the flier in the post below this one.) I'll be reading from both Invincible Summer and Zombie Tag, giving away signed copies of BREAK like candy, and we will be playing a REAL LIVE GAME of Zombie Tag. So please come. Wine and cheese. A good time for all.